And so it is...

This blog has moved!

http://www.papinabasket.wordpress.com/

It's hard cos i've been so attached to this blog.
Been a good long 6 years..
Sorry but it's time to move.
See all of you over at Wordpress!

It's said that anger is a second emotion...

So there, I'm utterly hurt and royally pissed!!!

*ROAR*


Don't ask.

So long blogspot~

This blog is gonna move.
I have reached the storage quota so am unable to post any pics.
What's a blog without photos?!
So yes, setting up a blog at wordpress.
2 in fact cos Megan's blog is moving as well.

My presents from Hong Kong: 3 and counting!

Zack bought me another present today! *beams*
and he is not telling me what any of them are!
Chatting with my hubby now...
Hoping a week will pass quickly..... :(

Girls Night In!

Chillout room ready.. candles, cushions, VS magazine, sour cream ruffles, lychee and... vodka!!!

Jo is buying dinner! Stingray, chicken wings, hokkien mee, carrot....!

Waiting for the 4 gals to arrive. Quick come quick!!!

When the hubby is away, the gals come to play ;)


*Zack sent me an incredibly sweet sms. I miss you too baby... :(
1 week more to go... *sigh*

What can it be???

Zack bought me another present today!!
These are the clues for Present no.1:

1) I can use it
2) I can hold it in my hand
3) It's practical
4) I can put it in a bag

He refuses to give me any clues for present no. 2.


"why am i buying more things for you then for me??!!!!"

*giggles*

Will I find liberation?

The days are harder to past. And this afternoon is gonna be the toughest. Praying for courage. And I ask, "Why am i afraid?", "Why do I let those people have a hold over me?" Then I asked myself, "Why am I doing this when Im losing hope?" *needs peace*

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

:)

"I bought something for you! Hehe... many more to come k? Muaks! I'm back at e quarters... Coming online after my shower ard 11pm?"

TODAY..... is unbearably slow.
Time seems to CRAAAAWWWWL by.
No good shows on TV.. nothing. Zilch.
I don't know why we pay cable for.. seriously!
So its just work, play, cook, feed, bath, nap-work, play, cook, feed, bath... sleep.
Oh, I went to the office to collect mail.
Brought Megan along so it's a round trip.
Thank goodness for my sis - she popped over for abit!
Helped me feed Zack's fishes.. haha.
At least there is someone (who answers back, not blabbers back) I can talk to!

Zack called me when he was back at the quarters.
Telling me he is done for work and waiting for a hkg officer to come take them around.
They are going to the Ladies Market tonight.

I'm touched and pleased that he'll call and sms me regularly.
Morning, after work and before heading off to dinner and at night
I told him not to, just msg me when he is back at the quarters.
But he still do :)
I feel like I'm somewhat with him, knowing his whereabouts roughly.
It makes dealing with his absence easier.
It's a habit we formed right from the start.
Started when he started riding.
I make sure he tells me when he arrives his destination.
So i'll know that he is safe and sound.
Yes.. i'm paranoid.
So Zack has cultivated this very good habit ;)

This weekend will be packed for me.
Starting friday... cos the gals are coming!!!
The minute YY heard Zack is away for 2 weeks,
she immediately suggested a meetup at my place.. haha
So everyone can make it save for Sy :(
At least there's something to look forward it.
Just let me live through tomorrow.
I'm really not looking forward to what I have to face tomorrow.
I'm praying for wisdom and courage.

oh and did I mention TWO nights of uninterrupted sleep?? :)
My little darling is finally back in form!
I better go upload some pics I took today and post on her blog.
I've not posted for a few days and Mama Nancy is gonna nag!!

Zack went to Temple Street and bought Megan a cheongsam. Said he is going to buy me a matching one! Eh.... okaaaaaay.

Both my babies are in dreamland now. I fell asleep while waiting for Zack to come online. Then Megan woke up fussing. Had to cuddle her and coax her back to sleep - her gums are swollen so they are bothering her alot. Place her back into her cot and Zack came online. Chat for a little while. Spoke earlier on the phone but got cut off cos he ran out of credit! We are trying Skype tomorrow.. bound to be cheaper.

Told me about his day. He visited a hospital atop a hill. On the slopes of the hill is a cemetary. How conveniant eh. He had zichar for dinner AND HAD GONGCHA!!! Told him he'd better bring a cup back for me! I packed ziplock bags in his luggage :P

1:15am
Time to hit the sack.
Praying Megan will sleep through the night.
And Pap will eat her dinner!
That gal didn't eat the entire day... *sigh*
She is the top supermodel of dogs.


niteesss...
sweetdreams...

strolling along Portobello... when Zack saw this pendant, turned to me and said, "You like this? I buy for you?" :) Said the minute he saw it, he just wanted to get it for me. Said the cheesiest thing but it made me laugh... and glow all the way to my toes! *beams*

Moments like this... priceless :)

Well... needless to say, that's my prized possession. I've been carrying it everywhere I go! I need no tiffany. Just a little something from the heart :)

Missing my baby.... :(

He is in Hong Kong now and will be there the next 2 weeks.
2 weeks!! That's TOOOO long :(

But we are transitioning well cos since he touched down at 3pm, he had already called me 3 times, sent me smses and we are chatting online now :)

Said his colleagues asked him why he kept calling me.
"i tell them i miss you lor... hehe"
awwww..... :)
and they asked him to stop asking them where to find KS.. hehe
cos I asked him to get me something there.
*grins*

Zack really surprises me sometimes.
He really misses me!
The past few days he has been incredibly sweet.
Wanting to spend time alone with me..
Even turning his friends down to have dinner!
Megan was a good gal and slept thru last night.
(little girl fusses at night now - teething.. poor girl)
So we had the whole night to ourselves.
Even in the morning, he pulled me back for another long cuddle :)
Hugged me tight and told me how much he's gonna miss me.
Told him to stop saying that cos everytime he says it, i'd tear!
and forbid him to say it at the airport..
I'm not about to bawl like a baby at the departure hall.
Of crse with a hubby whose life purpose is to tease his wife,
He said he IS going to say it at the airport and watch my waterworks come in full force.

Waiting for Zack to be done with his shower.
In fact, it's a good thing i'm used to his shift schedule
so being hubby-less at night is nothing new to me.
but 2 weeks???
:(

"Lord, thank you for giving Zack this opportunity to go to Hong Kong. To learn and experience the culture. Give him a good learning experience. Please bless him with good health (no birdflu!), keep him safe from any harm and danger and bring him safely home to me. In Jesus Name I pray, AMEN."

Am sad.... :(

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Completely bummed..

Im missing the most important part of ben and val's wedding. It sucks. 3 weeks ago edu chair told me there will be an event today.. Dammit!! I cant say 'no' cos every event needs an organiser and there's only me. Many people hve asked me if its all worth it, health, stress.. And now this. Ben is one of my closest friend, my childhood friend. We were buds since 11years old. This really sucks.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

In the cinema...

...with My gongcha milk melon tea, waiting for Harry Potter to start! :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Finally...

...photos are up on FB!

Grandma was asking me when will I be posting them so yes, it's done.

Sorry I can't do a trip report this time round cos with only 2MB left, I probably can't even upload 5pics! So will be posting to link to the FB album. *Note: Set privacy level

So yes... job done.

Managed to cram into 1 album (200 pics) for every city.

No mean feat when I took 600+ pics in Madrid, 700+ in London!

Surprisingly the pics werent as half bad as I thought they will be, considering everything was done in a flurry.. many point+sho0t shots. No time to slowly create nice pics. I NEED to go on a photography trip!!!

Anyway.. no time.
Gotta cook Megan's dinner,
make some calls, emails for my event on Sat..
then it's..... OFF TO IKEA!

but first.. Zacky gotta come home from car servicing.. ha!

so pretty.... I WANT!

"Always remember that you can never find a perfect partner, to love you the way you wanted.

Only a person who's willing to love you more than what you are, someone who'll accept you for what you can and for what you can't be.

And that's even better than perfect."

5:48

Keeping such weird hours... Tsk tsk

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

2:15am...

and my Megan is reading - more like flipping her book *sigh*

why why... why did I have to switch on the fan?!!! *bang head*

she was asleep by 9pm.. back to her normal timing.

tsk tsk...

Anyhow, the cutest thing happened this evening.

After dinner, Zack and I were (on our feet) hugging while chatting. A couple of smooches. Then we felt a little dwarf beside us, looked down and there was Megan standing next to us, staring up at us. She reached up and took Zack's hand (which was on my hips)! I reached down and she took my hand as well. (Mind you, Megan is at a stage where she doesn't like having her hands held - very independent and wants her freedom.) So we pretended to ignore her and continued smooching, just to see her reaction. She then hugged our legs and take Zack's hand again! HAHAHHAHA! Heart warming I tell you.. :)

Before dinner while saying grace, Megan gets very excited when we all hold hands in a circle and say grace.. and at the end of the prayer, Zack and I goes, "AMEN!" She loves it! :)

It is very interesting watching Megan's character development. When she is slightly younger (12-15 months), she just learnt to walk and was really gungho. "Don't hold my hand! I wanna walk on my own." Fiercely independent, a tad reckless. Go about her daily routine of home arrangement, chasing Pappe with a mindful focus, just a watchful eye on mummy.

Since she turned 15 months, things have changed slightly. She is more clingy (not sure if the trip to Europe played a part), realises that mummy & daddy are VIPs - mummy especially! :P. She follows me more closely at home as well. When she's scared, she'll run to me. More so when she's upset. Only mummy can soothe her when she fusses at night. It's like magic. Just a couple of days back, Megan was upset about something and she held up her arms for me to carry her. Zack wanted to carry her but she turned away from him. Awww... daddy was hurt :( Told him he gotta bathe and diaper change her more to win her favour. He actually paid more attention to her.. haha So yeah, Megan now likes being in the action, being involved with us. Loves our attention, our approval. Alot more aware of her surroundings and more cautious as well. Doesn't run amok like a kampong chicken the minute her feet touches the ground now (not as much). And definitely more affectionate :) She'll come hug us, lean against us, kiss us. One I love most is when I am sitting/squatting on the floor and she'll come hug my back and hold onto me. Melts your heart.... :)

Gosh.. its past 3am.. and i am hungry :(
nothing to eat at home.
feeling like a peanut butter sandwich..

FINALLY....

...I had a good night of uninterrupted sleep last night!

Since we came back (in fact it started in Madrid our last stop), Megan has been waking 1-2 times during the nights. Wouldnt go back to sleep til I cuddle her. By morning, I was dead tired and body aching from sleeping on the couch in Megan's room. While that little queen can sleep in, mummy has to be up at 9am to work! So last night was a good respite.

We went to JB today!

Zack called me at 11:30am on his way home from meeting, telling me Chris wanna go JB. Asked me if I wanna go. I made some calls, reshuffle my appointment (site recee), prepare Megan's lunch, prepare. We were out of the house by 1:15pm. Went to The Pines for my site recee first. Then to Chris's place and together off we go to JB.

We forgot THE MOST important thing - Megan's stroller! It was left in our car boot. Arrrgghhhhh! Had no choice but to get a cheap one from Toys'r'us for $50. It's pretty, pink with butterflies, but my heart aches at the unneccesary expense *sigh* When your toddler is as heavy and active as Megan, a stroller is the only thing that keeps your sanity.

Stock up on grocery, had a Secret Recipe meal (a must whenever we go Msia), did some window shopping, Zack bought some games (He's playing his xbox now that's why I am blogging now!). Short trip this time round. Still good to get outta the country.

Gosh there is just so much to do around here. Clean the toilets, tidy the house. I still havent polish my boots and pack them away :( House is getting messy *sigh* That little queen is NOT helping either - taking something and putting it elsewhere. I have to cram my work during the 2-3hours Megan naps for. She don't sleep til 10pm these days (still tweaking her routine). How to get my work done like this? Must lest housework! *sigh* Sometimes I wish there are 2 of me..

Oh something incredibly hilarious happened tonight. We came home and I quickly changed Megan's diaper as she pooped on the way home. As I am about to give her a bath, I didnt diaper her. So I left her running amok the house in her birthday suit. She looks awfully cute and both Zack and I were laughing at her. Talking about how we should take a vid of her and show her when she's older. I was readying her bath, getting her pjs ready. Megan was playing with her kitchen playset (Aunty SY bought her!) in the living room. I came out to get her and saw her running towards me. A suspicious 'something' was lying infront of her kitchen playset. I looked closely and saw a lump of poop! and more tracks of it on the floor nearby. Looked at Pappe and she was sitting nearby looking nonchalent. Then I checked that little imp's butt. Sure enough, she was the culprit, fleeing from the scene of crime! My oh my!

Zack bellowed, "Megan! You are supposed to bake in the oven (kitchen playset has an oven.. haha), not outside the oven!" *LOL* Chris and Elynne came shortly after and had a good laugh as well... hahaha.

Well oh well.... you can never say life with a toddler is boring!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Sunday..

And my heart feels heavy already *sigh* Megan woke at 3am and didnt sleep til 7am! She is still in bed now.. Wake her or not wake her?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

SY came to visit this afternoon! :)

Megan got a new kitchen playset
I got a pot of sweet smelling moisturiser from Loccitaine
and one of my fav chocolate cake from Four Leaves :)
Aint she's the sweetest!
Short afternoon chat.. catching up, tons of that to do!
We have to do a proper long one soon!
Haven't met the gals in ages.

Went to see mummy's grave in the evening.
New carpet grass, all looking good.
Arranged maintenance for the next year.

Then Zack and Andrew brought us to this duck rice stall at Clementi.
Purported to serve EXCELLENT duck rice.
And my.. it was true.
Meat is tender.
Side dishes like toufu and veg were really good.
But a tad pricey. Zack packed a packet back and it was $5.. ouch!

Megan's jetlag is easing off.
Had a tough time with her bedtime the past week.
Refused to sleep til past midnight (how is mummy to work like this??)
Worse part: Sha has to sleep ON ME. Screams bloody murder if I put her in her cot.
Now she is sleeping at 10:30pm.. good improvement.
I shall tweak it earlier tomorrow by 30mins.
And she eases herself to sleep!

and did I mention...

...happiness these days are short-lived and fleeting. How fucking true.

An afternoon breather..

Off to catch a movie with Zack. SO need the breather. Imagine my surprise when he suggested it! like he read my mind! And im carrying my brand new pretty bag zack bought me in Spain.. The scent of new italian leather.. Now this perks me up..

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Restless nights are back...

Been having intense feelings of late. Past few mths to be exact. And those feelings are mostly bad. Dark thoughts fill me so much it frightens me. Really dark ones. Im exhausted from the emotional roller coaster ride. I cant hold on much longer. The hard part was the lack of understanding. I need some time-out but you dont care. Happiness seems short-lived and fleeting. Im so tired sometimes i feel like giving it up and running away. Im no superwoman and I hate you for thinking that. Maybe i'm not a person to you. Just a means to an end. 5am: with tears streaming down my cheeks.. I think i'm losing it. I'm afraid i may have gotten to a point I have not gone before. And perhaps the damage is revocable.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

I feel LOVED...

...when You keep the light on for me. Especially when you sleep better with it off :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Home sweet home!

We are back!
Touched down at 8:15pm.

My dear sis + BIL Andrew, Chris + Elynne came to pick us up :) Yeah such big shots right.. haha. In actual fact, the big shot is the little sleeping imp!

Megan was an angel during the 14-hr flight back! Slept all the way!! Waking up once, fed her milk and she went back to sleep. Woke up 1 hour to touch down :) But she was a terror during the 1hr flight from KUL - SIN. But it was an hour so bearable.

It's funny how however wonderful your trip was, you still feel elated when your plane touched down at Changi Airport. You can be having the most romantic time strolling River Seine in Paris, enjoying the Big Ben from London Eye, gorging fabulous tuscany cuisine in Florence, frowning at paintings at the Prado Musuem in Madrid... but somehow when it's time to go home.. it's bittersweet. Sad for the live fantasy to end (and face reality back home = Work & bills *sigh*) yet glad to be heading home, back to the comforts of your home.

I feel particularly sad cos it will be a long while before we go back to Europe. I LOVE Europe and the europeans.. great bunch of people! In the coming months, we will be busy. Just waiting for a phonecall. Anytime now! *jitters*

Megan went to bed after her bath + milk at 11pm. She was tired and fell asleep promptly. Surprised cos she slept quite abit during flight. Praying she will sleep throughout the night. Strangely I'm not feeling too tired. Unpacked a little, leaving the rest for tomorrow. Urrgghhh... laundry!! :(

Got my little present from Zack next to me in bed :)

.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

1) Sent an email (with pics) to grandma Nancy
2) Post some pics on FB for grandma Elsie

Both grandmas are missing Megan. See.. I on holiday still must send pics back to them! hahahha!

Now I'm going to fill up the tax refund forms.. got quite a few to complete! :S Then it's off to bed. REALLY tired. Praying Megan will sleep through the night. She has been having fitful sleep the past 2 nights. I have to carry her and she'll only go back to sleep ON ME! *yawns*

Ok ciao~

Really cold in Madrid today!!!

Oh yes it is! Coldest since we arrived. 9degrees at night WITH WIND :S Nose was getting frozen!

But no, not complaining. Cold is always better than humid plus we got sunshine too.

Legs are about to break. We have been walking for the past 2 days.. serious walking! We didnt take any metro or bus... just walked everywhere. All over the place! Thank goodness for my new boots! :) I had to broken-heartedly leave my ecco boots behind at Barcelona. It was completely worn out. But it had served me well the past 3 years and well worth its pricetag.

Anyhow, had an awesome time today. Went to San Gines not once but TWICE!!! Hot chocolate + Churros. Imagine chocolate so thick the spoon floats on it!

Managed to find San Gines the night before after 15mins of walk. Lights blinking before us, my chocolate + churros just minutes away from me. Then we had to walk off. Little one started to fuss. And hearing her fuss, we know we will not have an enjoyable snack. The sacrifices parents make.. *sigh* But Zack promised me we will be back and we were! He is now hooked to it.. hahha!

(Megan started fussing so had to stop last night)

Gosh, Megan has been fussing the past 2 nights! It's pretty warm in the room, especially where her cot is so we moved it. She was slightly better last night. Hope tonight she will be good and we can sleep well.

10am:
and it's 3 degrees outside now!
We shall brave the cold later.
Off to the Royal Palace and more shopping at Puerta del Sol!
Zack bought me a little present yesterday!!! *beams*

Cute as a button :)...

...in Barca.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Megan & Daddy in Barcelona..

Last dinner :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Our first night in Madrid...

So interesting! Saw a gay rights activists rally, just marching along-side us right up to Puera del Sol! (2 gals kissing as they march!) Followed by a great dinner @ Plaza Santa Ann (where our hotel is): Fish soup is the best!! But still cant beat the venetian fish soup i had in Venice. Gonna hit the sack now. Long day coming up tomorrow! :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

OHLA!

Our 3rd day in Barcelona.. We have been blessed for great weather! Even in London.. it only rained when we were leaving and we went caught in a light drizzle.

Barcelona is beautiful!!! It reminds us of Venice. A bigger Venice on land. Winding walkways that leads to even more walkways... there is something to find everywhere. The architecture of the buildings are gorgeous! I can´t describe it in words.. haha. Our first night in Barcelona, we had dinner at a Tapas Bar. Followed by a nice stroll around our hotel area, through the winding paths. Cool crisp air, 18 degrees - it´s perfect, with a gelato in hand.. just walking and chatting. Feels like a throwback in time to our honeymoon.. our night strolls in Paris :)

Girona left us speechless. Our hotel room is just stunning! Probably the best I´ve stayed in by far.. oh yes, even Maldives! Well to me at least.. haha. The photos will tell the story. I love history and anything historic so put me in a room that is centuries old, i´m a goner :P I may look the part of a city girl, i´m a historic at heart.

Yesterday we went to Sagrada Familia and managed to chance upon the House of skull at Passig De Gracia (High end shopping area). Bought something there! Now we are having a headache of lugging it back!

It´s been a challenging trip. This sure is an education for us. Bringing a toddler on a long haul trip. She doesn´t like being in the stroller for long (who does) but we can´t let her walk. Once she is on her feet, she is like a kampong chicken.. all over the place! Dangerous. And cobblestones are not meant for little toddler´s feet. So that´s a struggle for us. Keeping her happy and quiet in her stroller. Train and plane rides are wailing fits.. sighs. So we try to carry her (she is VERY heavy) as much. Poor girl is also teething. Cut her 8th tooth in London! Worst part, we ran out of teething rusks and can´t find any around here :( So keep us in your prayers!

Sleep wise - Megan is an angel. Sleeps in the cot throughout the night.

It´s slightly past 10am and Zack and Megan are still aslp! Gonna wake Zack up soon. We were all awake, even the little one, but they both went back to bed while I shower.. tsk tsk. There is a laptop in the hotel room but the connection aint all perfect. Another hit on hotels for me *smirk* Location is fab, right smack on La Ramblas, but got a room facing the inner court so minus the noise. 1min walk to the metro (Liceu) which is just 1 stop away from Catalunya (interchange). A hightech hotel and there´s a hydromassage shower!! Spacious too for an european hotel so Megan is happy.. haha. But I´m just pissed for the service! Asked for a blardee hairdryer (supposed to have one in the room but there isnt): 3 calls, more than an hour wait. Finally someone brought 1 up after the 3rd annoyed call. Guess what? It doesn´t work. I give up. I shall have unblown awful hair during my days in Barca.

Today: Back to Passig De Gracia! Still wondering if I should get that pair of boots (i´m wearing out mine and oh my poor feet) Zack says I´m a slave to fashion.. haha. Then a cable car ride to Montjuic in the later part of the afternoon! There is a huge children area for Megan to play. Then a musical fountain display at night. She will enjoy it :)

Notice how it´s about Megan now? This is how it´s like when you have children. We are a family of 3 now. We have to meet the needs of 3 individuals now. No mean feat. I have learnt alot for the trip. Logistics and such. Made some mistakes. I am a perfectionist so I get upset with myself when things dont go perfectly. Still, I want to give myself a pat on the back on what has been from months back right up to this trip - work, megan, house, planning for this trip. Despite the hiccups, I say I did a pretty great job! and I so righfully deserve a little present! :)

For starter: CHOCOLATE AND CHURROS for breakfast!!!


(note: sorry no pics as i´m down to the last 2MB for my blogs. Time to swtich blogs.)

Greetings from London!!

Its 5:30am and somehow i'm awake. Weather has been great lately! None of the famous rain. Just a tad gloomy ydae but was all sunshiny on Sun. Did tons and im aching all over! Later today we are off to Buckingham Palace, Picadilly circus - i need new shoes!!, and if weather permits, picnic at Hyde Park! :) Having a blast!! Wishing we have more days but we are off to Spain next! :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

3am!

And we just finished packing! Cleaned and tidy up the hse too - toilets washed, floor mopped. Whenever i go on a trip, i just got to make sure the hse is clean before leaving. Gotta be up by 5:30am. Andrew is picking us up at 7am. My sis has to be at the airport at 7:30am too. She is flying off to Hong Kong.. And flying out from the same terminal as us! Gosh i'm so tired. Praying megan will be good during the flight and hopefully i can catch some wink.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Awake since 7:30am!

Can't sleep!
Alrighty, I'm getting excited!!!
Head in overdrive now... TONS to do today.
and couple more work stuff to do then i'm turning this thing off.
Zack wanna bring along the laptop so I might check in now and then.

Be back later~

*need coffee!*

ONE DAY TO GO....!!!!

Excited?
Just a tad.
Not getting the buzz yet.

Busy trying to tie up loose ends at work on top of packing. My head, oh my head, is filled to the brim with stuff.. numerous channels sifting rapidly. Ticking off my to-do list and trying to get work done before I could fly off in peace. I'm so tired... *yawns*... and hungry.

Packing... what have I missed???
Enough warm clothes for Megan?
Entertainment?
Food? I am hating myself for caving in to jarred foods :(

Bought instant oats (add hot water and good to go) and some jarred food. Either to mix with the oats or have it on its own. Megan has been eating lovingly home-cooked meals from the very start. Now she is having commerically prepared food :( I seriously don't get why some mothers choose jarred foods. Firstly, it's so much more costly. Secondly, nothing beats freshly cooked meals. And cooking doesn't take more than 10mins. Definitely not gonna bash other mums for taking that route. It sure doesn't mean they are any lesser. Just thought it's a no-brainer. Godma believes that the reason why Megan is so healthy (not fallen ill once thus far *touch wood*!) is becos of the nutritious food she eats. I say it's also bcos of the grace we say before every meal :)

So it will be a very challenging trip.
14.5mth old toddler, 14 hour long flight... *grimace*
Megan is VERY active now.. she is like a boy!
Check out her blog and watch what a monkey she is now.. haha.
So keep us in your prayers!
Journey mercy, good weather, smooth transitions.. and a great time!
i'm NOT gonna think about work or worry about Pappe!

"Dear Lord, I leave Pappe in your mighty Hands. Keep her safe from harm and danger. Help her to eat well and have a great time at Rachel's. That she will be obedient and not run off if she is off the leash. Protect her little heart and give us a miracle. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen."

Now i'm feeling slightly panicky I can't remember the detailed instructions after landing :( Gotta read up again tomorrow.

Off to my last event before i fly off! Wouldnt end til 9 plus.. Yawns. 2 more days of work to go. Plenty to do!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Should I go for a hair trim?

Zack and I had a leisure date today :) It's been too long since we had one. It's usually movie - dinner - home. Had a few stuff to buy for our trip so it was task specific yet we had a great time. Zack didn't utter a single complaint! No "hurry up, i'm hungry/tired." Got to attribute to the fact that he has been in high spirits. Oh yes, VERY high spirits :) So there we were, sipping Gong Cha.. picking up long johns for Megan, and utilize our Fox (Zack's obit jacket.. haha) & Forever 21 (part of my mothers' day gift) shopping vouchers. Everyone has something!

Godma dropped by this afternoon. I don't know.. til now I still can't comprehend how anyone can be quite so generous and selfless. Her generousity and thoughtfulness touched us immensely. She has done more for us than most parents would. And this cemented my belief that blood is NOT thicker than water. I want to be as filial to her as I possibly can. These months had been tough ones. Exceedingly tough. And sometimes I shamefully admit I questioned God.. "Why God why? If it's from You, why is it so tough?" Then I realised that it is only through these tough times, that I see who are the ones who are there for me. Holding my hand, supporting me. I am humbled. My Godma. My sister. I never realised how much they love me til now. That I mattered. And this is what God wants me to see. They are the ones. I will remember this til the day I die.

10.10.10

Today is supposed to be my sleep-in day. Zack was going to wake when Megan does, feed her, diaper change her, then watch her for the morning :)

BUT......

I was up by 8:30am!!! :S
and no one was awake..... right down to little old woman, pap.

10am now:

and i've cleaned the floor, did the laundry, wash the dishes, now i'm watching some telly with last night's sarpino's pizzas.

and still, everyone is still asleep.
So much for sleeping-in uh!

But I woke up today with a smile on my face :)
It's the first in a LONG LONG time.
I usually wake up with work foremost in my head, and i drag myself off bed with sigh.

Our conversation last night:

J: I'm so happy you know *hug zack*

Z: hahah.. of course you are happy. You get to **,** and ** (Sorry can't spill yet. Perhaps after we are back from Europe)

J: *grins*

OK shan't waste time here.
Today is our date day!!!
Zack and I are going part towing later.
I gotta go check out GV on good movies.
We need to get some for Megan, trying to find wool leggings for Megan.

I HAVE TO FOCUS!!!

and go back to our trip!
only in 1 weeks' time!

Can you imagine me being distracted from London and Spain??

6 surprising signs of depression

Little do I know, I got depression! But it's gonna ease off some :) 4 days of work then off we fly! When we come back, there are stuff for us to settle :) Already Zack said this to me yesterday, "You look happier now :)" Yes I do!

Click here for article

1. Achy joints and other unexplained pain
Often people notice that they don't feel well, or that something hurts and don't connect it with depression. "But headaches, back pain, stomach aches, and joint discomfort are actually common signs," says psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, MD, medical director of NRI Community Services in Rhode Island. "And they often resolve when the depression gets better."

2. Gut reaction
Changes in your bowels (constipation or having to use the bathroom more than usual) are telltale signs of anxiety, which in itself is a stealth symptom of depression. This is especially true of women, says Haltzman.

3. Diving into work
Some people stop functioning and don't get out of bed. Others do the opposite, says Philip Muskin, MD, professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia Unversity, which is one of the screening sites. "Often people push themselves as hard as they can, physically and emotionally—into work, training for a marathon. It's as if they're fighting the depression." While a hard worker might just be trying to score a promotion, Muskin says, when fueled by depression, the drive doesn't have that clear goal.

4. Interviewing, but not getting the job
When you're trying to get hired, depression is an insidious handicap, leeching you of the energy, warmth, and can-do spirit a person hiring wants to see. You may not realize you're running on a low battery, but it's as if the disease creates a palpable apathy. "From the interviewer's perspective," says Muskin, "there's a very real difference when you look somebody in the eye and he doesn't really look back, or his voice doesn't have that quality of I'm really excited to be here, because he's not excited about anything." Also, Muskin points out, when you're depressed it's harder to dress and put yourself together in a way that says, "Hire me."

5. Paranoid thoughts
Haltzman says in about 10 percent of cases, depression may include delusional thoughts. "I had a very bright patient with a PhD," he says, "and she began to think that someone had planted the wires in her house to spy on her." The delusions may take the form of thinking you have a fatal illness. Being convinced you have Alzheimer's, for example, can be a red flag for depression, Haltzman says, because those who actually suffer from it generally aren't aware they're losing their memory.

6. Not being in the mood
When interest in sex nosedives for one person in a couple, there are all kinds of reasons that come to mind—age, boredom, medications, and mistresses among them. But Muskin stresses, it's also a common sign of depression, especially when the man is suddenly unable to perform. "Depression makes you lose interest in a lot of things, including making love. If you notice a change, it's something to consider."

11:15pm:

Work done.
Nice hot shower.
Now I'm ready to play!

My head is spinning with too much stuff. Our long awaited trip is in 1 week!!! Preparing to settle my work and leave in peace. Next week will be good cos alot of my members are travelling. No one to bother me! I don't quite feel ready for the trip yet. A checklist of stuff to do. Megan needs shoes! and I wonder if she has enough warm clothes. I gotta go try on my "gorgeous coat" too. I'm afraid it'll hang on me now :( While I'm happy i've lost weight and pretty much back to my pre-preg bod, I'm not psych having my clothes hang on me. The only things I allow to hang on me are sparkly blings blings!

I don't know how I'm going to do it but somehow I have to. It's an enormous task my hubby asks of me. Our focus is off at the moment. If we scurry, we might be able to wrap things up by mid week and turn our heads back to our trip! It takes something huge to divert our attention and this is HUGE. First things first...

If motherhood has taught me anything, it will be organizing. I can proudly say I'm damn good at it! Planning meals, schedules, appointments, meetings way ahead. Perhaps that's why i'm losing sleep. Cos my mind is always on overdrive! :(

Let me tell you about my day...

6:10am: Megan woke up and started crying. Bad dream probably. Can't leave room without her fussing. Can't sleep until almost close to 7am.

7:20am: Alarm sounded. Time to wake, bathe and get ready.

9:30am: Meeting @ Great World City.

11:15am: Appointment @ Paragon.

11:45am: Appointment @ Tong Building. Buy lunch @ Lucky Plaza.

12:15pm: Reached home. Cook Megan's lunch. Fed Megan. Have lunch with Zack.

1:00pm: Work.

2:20pm: Clean up house. Wash dishes. Cook Megan's dinner.

2:45pm: Leave home for appointment. Brought Megan along, Rachel babysit Megan @ her office.

3:30pm: Appointment @ Raffles Place.

4:00pm: Reached Rachel's office.

4:30pm: Zack picked us up @ Marina Boulevard.

5:00pm: Reached Kaki Bukit to buy Megan's travel stroller.

6:30pm: Dinner @ Sbey Sbey.

7:45pm: Reach home. Feed Megan. Bath Megan. Iron Zack's uniform.

8:30pm: See Zack off to work.

Now: Blogging.

Later: Clear some emails.

Quite a day yah.

Sometimes I wonder how I made it through some days..

Meetings/appointments during the day.

Work still awaits at night.
Then there is Megan to look after. Housechores to do.
I.AM.COMPLETELY.EXHAUSTED.

Tons of coordination and I must say, the PAs of my members are really helpful. They understand my situation and are always willing to offer their help. Not to mention my dear sister. I honestly wouldn't have made it this far without her! I should give her part of my paycheck!

Saved the best for last...

Something REALLY important happened today. That's why I had to take Megan along with me even though Zack is home. He had to attend to something very important. Things are looking promising. Not ready to spill the beans here yet. We will know in 2 weeks time. I'm praying before we head off for our trip next week! Whatever the case, I want my hubby to know that... I'm immensely proud of him! :)

YESTERDAY

Managed to lunch with Theresa (ex-boss) yesterday. I'm SOOOOOO happy to see her. It's funny how even though we have not met in months, the minute we met.. it's as though we are still in the office, sitting side by side, working together (or rather me working under her ) gossiping.. hehe. Apart from Godma, she is the closest I have to a mother :) She told me of office gossip and the latest happenings. Updates on her children. I ranted to her. Just like the old days :) That's the thing about being in HR. You tend to stick together cos alot of what you know is P&C. You sure can't talk to the employees about it so you share among the department.

Zack called me during our lunch. He was out offshore fishing.

Z *excited*: Guess what?

J: What? You caught a 10kg fish? (He caught a 8-9kg fish last trip)

Z: No. *told me*

J *in disbelief*: Don't bluff me! You're bluffing me right?!! I'm gonna be so pissed if you are bluffing me!

Z: Hahahahaa! No I'm not bluffing you! Really!!!

J: OMG!!!!

call continues then ended.

Theresa: You look so happy :)


Alrighty, let me go get some work done. Send some emails out. Tomorrow will be a day at home with Megan but busy preparing for Friday's exco meeting and more stuff to do for next Tue's event. I'm taking the lead! Shirley's guiding me. I'm really blessed to have people like her around. She'd drop me a call or sms just to check on me: "Are you okay? Anyone giving you a hard time? Anything just call me okay?" :) After work is done, I'll turn that damn thing off! (I only work on my work laptop) and come back here to do some research ;)

Not yet 9am...

And already i feel drained. On my way to a meeting at Great World. 2 more appts to arrange today. And tons of work to do. This is crazy. Gotta make sure im home by 3. If i hve an appt at that time, gotta take megan along. Something VERY IMPORTANT is taking place from 3-4pm later!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

THE CALL CAME!!

Omg...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

My stomach growled..

..and I realised i hve not had bfast! On my way out for meeting or two.. 2nd one might not happen. Hoping it wouldnt so i can have lunch with Theresa! Will be in tanjong pagar. Arghh.. Im so hungry. Busy all morning replying emails, cleaning the floor, cooking megan's lunch.. That i forgot to make myself a bowl of raisin bran. Praying all goes well at the bank later. (IMPORTANT NOTE: Make that call for Zack) Megan is such a sweetheart. She saw me off just now blowing kisses and waving. She is enjoying the day with grandpa :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Z: Where are you now?
J: I'm at Paragon.
Z: Okay, so where is the nearest in town I can pick you up?
J: Paragon.
Z: No where is the nearest I can pick you up?
J: Paragon got taxi-stand. You can pick me up there. (Hahaha..)
Z: Okay I pick you up at Toa Payoh.
J: WHAT?!!!!

In the end... he made me travel A LONG WAY! *pout* But free ride, cannot complain. I enjoyed our chat and banter along the way :)

Feeling somewhat lighter now that my submission is done. Dateline today. Met up with my chairman to review it and he went, "That's a lot of work." YESSSS! ALOT OF WORK! Other chapters engaged graphic designers and spent 3-5k on their submissions. I had to do it on my own (no budget)! The irony is writing event descriptions on events I didnt even attend! After he saw the last slide, he went, "You did a great job!" Yes thank you very much. I nearby died in the process. Just glad it's OVER. Now I can concentrate on other stuff.

Can't begin to say what a toll it is taking on me.

It's not easy juggling everything: Mother, Work, Wife. I'm just blessed Zack is not a demanding husband. But I feel like i'm not doing a good job as a wife *sigh* The only thing I am doing for him is iron his uniform. I haven't been much of a cook of late :( I'm just sooo tired... in every sense.

16 days to go......
I hope this trip will work wonders!

On a rainy thursday afternoon...

Finds me at Paragon starbucks, with a hot cuppa latte and piping hot molten chocolate cake.. Waiting for zack to come pick me :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

Off to MBS...

...meeting At 10:15am. Hope timing is gd so can meet Sy for lunch! :) At least its something to look forward. So little of those these days.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

Over dinner tonight, Zack asked me: "Are you on some kinda diet?"

I haven't been finishing my meals. Sleep is not the only thing i'm losing (apart from my marbles), appetite is somewhat gone as well. Oh well...

7pm.

One of life's greatest joy is when you come home, weary from fighting battles all day, to see your baby squeal in delight the minute she sees you.. and come running towards you as fast as her little pudgy legs could carry her :)

I just love her so much...

I got work to do but I'm just so exhausted. I will pay for my friday night indulgence of surfing and blogging. My headache is edging away... thank God. Let me blog about something fun for a change. Posts have been depressing of late.

London and Spain itinerary all settled!!!

I'm mighty proud of myself! Managed to book all flights and hotels. Telling you it's NOT easy planning for this trip. With Megan with us, location is of utmost importance. I have to study the metro/train stations before finalizing on the hotels. We have to be very sure on directions when we get off the plane/train. With our luggage, Megan and her stroller, we cannot afford to take out the map and figure our way. Prime picking for pickpockets/muggers. Urban caution. So yeah, it's an arduous task.. finding the right hotel, connection / timing of flights and trains (cannot be too late, traveling at night with a toddler is no-no). Plenty of factors to consider.

The best part: 2 adults, 1 infant. 13 days. London/Girona/Barcelona/Madrid. $4.5K ONLY!!!! Oh yes.. ALL IN. All flights and accomodation. (I should be in the travel line!)

Even Godma who runs a travel agency said it's cheap! "Where to find?" *smirk* And we are not talking about hole-in-the-wall hotels. But 4-star boutique/hi-tech hotels (Spain hotels are awesome!). Right smack in the heart of the city within walking distance to the train/metro. Good reviews on Tripadvisor. (Yes I'm cheap, I go for the best at the cheapest. Flight from London - Girona @ 5 pounds baby!) Zack is very excited about the Girona hotel :) Now let's pray the trip will go smoothly.

Now... let me give myself a pat on the back.. *pat pat*

Seriously no mean feat getting this all planned out in the midst of my crazy lifestyle of looking after Megan and working at the same time. But i'm glad it's all settled.

Just hope I don't drop dead before 16 Oct.

I.NEED.COFFEE

Full day event. Up at 6:30am. On my way to Raffles Town Club. Wouldnt be home til 6 plus 7. Hoping i can get some work done in between. Taxi driver keep trying to make conversation.. I wanna nap lah.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

feelin' i'm headed for a breakdown...

All day starin' at the ceilin' makin' friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices tellin' me that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin'
Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me

I'm talkin' to myself in public, dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talkin' about me
I can hear them whisper, and it makes me think
There must be somethin' wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin', somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talkin' in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're takin' me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be yeah, how I used to be

How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be, how I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

5:20 in the morning...

Megan probably had a bad dream and i had to soothe her back to sleep. Its been close to an hour i think.. But i still cant get back to sleep. Mind is spinning fast. I need rest.. Emotionally, physically and mentally. Everyday is turning out to be so hectic, rushing from task to task. Work, megan, work, work, zack, megan, work. Im no superwoman. Its a wonder i have not fallen ill. I am just so tired. I just wanna sleep in peace. Zack and i hasnt gone on a date in ages. Hopefully this sunday.. Just the 2 of us, a movie, a nice meal. Im SOOOO looking forward to europe!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

Something so simple made me feel better...

...a Lunch with Zack and Megan at Suki Sushi. Food was NOTHING to rave about. Pricey. It was the company :) Let off some steam ranting. Now im feeling somewhat lighter. Now Megan is napping so im in bed with my jd robb. My laogong will be bringing home this starbucks cake after his medical talk at ttsh.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

Its 4am..

I got woken and cant get back to sleep! As it is, i am having trouble with sleep. Now i am SERIOUSLY PISSED!! I NEED A FRIGGING BREAK! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

Came home after my event to fiind my baby darling dressed in the most awful, mismatched outfit she was ever in in her 13 mths of existence. Megan please dun inherit Daddy's dress sense!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

If i live through this afternoon and tonight without going into pieces. I need strength Lord...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

...and we all went to Charco's!

Daddy was stuffing his face with ribs.
Mummy looked like crap.

So Megan went on a photoshoot with the ever doting Uncle Chris and Aunty Elynne!









Megan shaking hands with Aunty Elynne.. her latest antic, beside shaking her bod.. haha.


now i'm thinking of Charco's pineapple fritters... *hungry*

There are good days, then there are bad days...

Today is an extremely bad day.

:: Broke down
:: MASSIVE headache
:: Nauseous - was THIS close to puking

I couldn't even get an email out.
Had to get away from the laptop and work.
I became physically unwell.
Reading Megan's blog didn't even help.
Can't even begin to say what's wrong.


and what Tong Tong asked echos in my head.."Is it worth it?"

This brought on a smile:

"Later if you go to AMK Hub or J8, go buy yourself something that will make you happy ok. My treat. Muaks! :)"

It's 11:40pm.
Finished up abit of work when we got home.
Zack bathed Megan and put her to bed.
He probably couldn't find it in his heart to say 'No' when I asked.
Going to read my JD Robb...
Somehow reading always comforts me.
I love that my comfort net is in a form of a book.
I can take it everywhere I go.


in just 1 month 1 day.... hang in there Ju...
hoping we will know our answer by then..

Photos this week...

This is a very memorable shot.. cos Megan took it herself! Self-protrait! :) My budding photographer *mummy's heart sings*

Megan went to see Grandma. Grandma will love Megan sooo much. Megan will be grandma's darling of all darlings. If only.....

Fashion parading for Mama Nancy...

Taken last week...

Megan went to Cradle Roll!

During service, this girl got restless so I took her to the mother's room. She started to terrorize the kids in there so I had to take her out to the atrium and watch Uncle and aunties prepare lunch. She had a field time walking about :)

The Sisters...

think i've aged... *sigh*

Dateline: 11 Sept

now we wait with bated breadth....


Busy day. Busy weekend. Work starts today *sigh*
Load pics later.
Bringing Megan down to PP for grocery shopping.

Will Zack kewl me if I polish off the prawn paste chicken wings?

Nevermind, I shall make him a toasted sandwich of melted cheese+ham (breakfast in bed!) and say, "....at least it's clogging up my arteries and not yours!"

Anyhow, people just discharged from hospital cannot eat unhealthy food like chicken wings.

Crap, I'm feeling bloated :(

'M SOOOOO addicted to blueberry cheesecake! How now brown cow? There is a yakun-like coffee place at KTP hospital. So during the 3 days when Zack was warded, I pop down to grab some stuff and tried the blueberry cheesecake. Been a goner since. *sigh* It's NOT good! Yesterday, Zack went to pick me at Vivo after my appointment with Johnny (streaks are back!) and we had Secret Recipe for dinner. Dapaoed back a raspberry cheesecake *sheepish*

Zack watched Megan during the afternoon. Told me what a great time they had - without mummy.. bleh! She LOVES peek-a-boo.. haha. This gal is so fun and incredibly adorable. I know I shouldn't praise my daughter but she SOOOO is lor... haha. And really obedient. She is able to stay in highchairs fuss-free and entertains herself while we eat. But turning out to be a bully with other children! She interacts with them and actually sorts them out. But she disturbs them by pulling their clothes, their hair!!! :S Like that how to go playgroup? Zack and I will be hearing from her teacher everyday! *mummy shake head*

I think my life actually begins with her :) Simply can't imagine how my life was without her. Looking back, it just seems... lacklustre.

Godma is coming later to play with her grand-daughter!

Koi and a session with Johnny...

my streaks are coming back! been TOO long.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.8

So pissed! SO PISSED!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.8