i'm hitting the gym..
i'm crazy..

do you know that nose bleeds when u get dehydrated?
mine did..
after i sweated like a pig from 5 rounds of running
didnt replenish the water lost
diagnosed by my personal paramedic :)

*yawns*

how am i going to survive on 2 hours of sleep...


i'm so screwed....

hum hum hummm...

its 2.40am in the morning and my brain is running in full mode
had a bath after a 3.5 hrs nap.. sheesh
knocked out the minute i got home
cultivating this really bad habit
been napping after i get home from work and waking at 1 plus to wash up and do my usual chores.. so it wouldnt be til 2 plus before i head back to dreamland..
bad bad habit
internal clock is getting screwed up

feel like a run now...
a run @ 3am?
nah, i'm too comfortable after my bath
think i'll end the night (or start the day) with nora roberts..

i'm broke, am so so broke
this month's bills are leaving me high and dry
amounted up to more than half my salary *groans*
am i allowed only 1 shopping spree per month?
why do i have to pay dearly for little indulgences?
money is the root of all evil..
but i dun mind more evil in my life! hahaha! (just kidding)

supposed to hang out with ant tonight
but was too tired to do anything but come home to rest
sorry.. please forgive me.......! pwetty pleeeaaazzzzeeeee...!

pappe's sleeping on my lap as i'm typing this..
warm fuzzy feeling
love her sooo much... my sweetheart..
my other sweetheart is in dreamland too..
so wat am i doing here!

night peeps...


*hungry*

so i'm little left off the centre..
i'm a little out of tune..
some say i'm paranormal..
so i just bend their spoons..

gift from Heaven..

i found 200 bucks in the pocket of my jacket! *gasp*
got a surprise when i pulled out a thick wad of cash
prob is..
i cant remember wat is it for...
is it payment for something?
or am i $200 richer?!!!

How do you brew a cup of coffee?
needed a fix this morning
slept for only a total of 8.5 hrs in 2 days
so decided i need a little perk-me-up in my system
a cup of coffee that is!
didnt know how to brew so got some instructions from theresa
"press the full cup button, add condense milk, creamer"
somehow.. my coffee tasted awful
decided to improvise so added some milo
but it still taste awful
hmmmm...
i dunno wat went wrong
24 years of age and i dun noe how to brew a cup of coffee!
tsk tsk..
at least i got my kick

these 2 days had been greeeat!
had some retail therapy.. its da best!!! :D

bought:
2 paperbacks (Nora Roberts - Blue Dahlua and JD Robb - Imitation in Death)
2 tops from Chaos
1 bikini (sweet!)

All in the space of 1.5 hr! (dun ever leave me alone at Far East.. its detrimental for my well-being) love my buys.. but i realised that i had read one of the paperbacks before.. tsk tsk...

Fixed my hair yesterday
chopped off loads of it!
layers, layers and more layers!
colored it dark brown with copper blond streaks
love my new cut!
frames my face nicely :)

and managed to get a little gift for my dear :)


ok, i'm broke now..

"think tat's the problem when one get cut by love so deep tat the scar never really heals."


why do i feel guilty for being happy?

* * * * * * * * * * *

noe wat, i'm done.
done with all the guilt, paranoia, fears
this matters so much to me
everything is beautiful
not gonna screw it up with pesky insecurities
no i'm not.


dwell not in the past
for you cant savour the present
but welcome the future with open arms
and a fearless heart

3.30pm and i have got no mood for work... slacking pace today... why? coz its bluey monday.... dragged myself to work.. had lunch at Swissotel Merchant Court.. food wasnt really appetising.. finished only half of wat's on my plate..

have you ever had this feeling of crawling under a stone and staying there for the next 10 years? then running all over the world to burn off your sudden surge of adrenalin?

i'm restless...

i feel like gymming.. working out a sweat.. i wanna play tennis.. i wanna learn pottery.. i wanna be an artist.. i wanna sketch.. jeez, did i say that out loud?! sometimes, i wish i had pursue that.. sometimes i wonder if i am really me..

do you really know who ju is?
i dont..

should have brought my gym stuff then i can get some workout done and go home together with zack.. do you know gymming can be addictive? or should i go for some retail therapy instead? i think not, coz i'm buried under piles of bills oredi.. sigh.. i need dough.. i seriously need dough..

i'm mentally bored..

au revoir benoni..

ben flew off yesterday...
and we didnt have our last converasation :(

farewell my dear friend..
all the best to your final year
God be with you and stay strong
wish we had spent more time this time round
sorry we didnt.. thought most of it is my fault..
i'm gonna miss u tons..
(u'd better come back next year uh!)
miss having my dear friend ard..

Be good ya.. (i've been saying this for 4 years..)

Take care and godspeed.. *hugz*

a walk down memory lane

came back awhile ago.. scorching hot weather..
went to see mummy
then over to mandai columbarium to see grandma, robin uncle & great grand uncle
pleased to see how well maintained mum's grave is
didnt allow myself to dig deep into my well of emotions..

had a walk down his memory lane last night..
mixed feelings while we sat browsing photos
felt closer to him
but hesitant at the same time
unsure how prepared i am for it
some aspects of it
it felt funny..
stirred something..
pictures say a million words
sometimes i wonder if it is better not to know, not to see
or to see and deal with it head on..

is ignorance really bliss?

stop, stop! no more.. i'm not going down this road..
so help me..

Century Egg vs. Salted Egg

"Among the Chinese communities throughout South-east Asia and especially in China, preserved eggs has continued to be an extremely popular delicacy. It is no coincidence that only duck eggs are use for this delicacy. This is probably because duck eggs are bigger and have a stronger flavor than chicken eggs, and also because the yolk of a duck egg contains more fat than a chicken egg. Basically there are two main types of preserved eggs. The more common type, much favored in southern China, is the (Salted Duck Egg). The other, which has more universal appeal, is the more famous thousand-year-old egg.

Both types of preserved eggs are made by a similar method; it is the material used in the process that are different. Basically salted eggs are made by coating raw duck eggs in a salt and mud paste, then rolling them in rice husks until they are completely covered. At this stage the eggs are packed into an earthenware urn, which is tightly sealed and stored in a cool, dark place for one to two months.

Thousand-year-old eggs (Century Egg) are nothing like as old as their name suggests. They are just raw duck eggs that have been covered with a mixture of wood ash and slaked lime and left for up to a hundred days. By the time they are used, the egg whites will have turned to pale brown jelly and the yolks will be creamy and tinged green."

Now.. thats the diff between century egg (pei dan) and salted egg.
didnt realise that pei dan is actually duck egg
but at least i can see the difference between them.. *wink wink*
hahahaah!
private joke..

muaks, love u tons!

overslept this morning.. the first in a long while.. am still sleepy *yawns*

had dinner with ben last night.. he's leaving on sun *sobs* wouldnt be back til next year.. he's doing his final honours year.. so proud of u dude! :)
crystal jade for dinner.. scallop porridge! ordered this spinach with 3 kinds of eggs (chicken, duck and century egg) dish.. oh man, it was awesome! a must-try for all..

sent me home and we chatted for awhile.. kinda miss those days where we will chat through the night.. but i guess as we grow older, committments set in.. but its nice, really nice.. the time spent :)

realised ben shops the same way as i do
nope, i'm not going to elaborate

i saw a navel jewel stud i wanna get!
its so beautiful.....
its $35
any sponsors???


15 Feb
Another friend going back to Kanga Land...

Did some catching up with Yiming after work.. good ole yiming! still the same tan, spiky hair, quick grin, and fast talk.. never a dull moment with him and so enjoy listening to his surfing stories, his travels, his half-jap housemate antics.. burst my guts out laughing :)

its all good.. thankful for all my friends who have at some point in time touched me dearly.. :) *big hugz to all*

Some news...

woke up this morning with some fear churning in my belly..
didnt wanna get outta bed
where i am safe in arms of security and love..
my safe haven

many fears i've got..
sometimes i let it pass me by..
sometimes i embrace it..


V Day was nice..
our first V Day spent together :)
didnt do much except went to East Coast for dinner..
intended to stay home and cook Phad Thai for dinner
but silly me.. wanted something more 'romantic' (sigh)
so off we went to east coast..

wanted to have crabs but when we reached the place (cant remember the street)
NO MORE CRABS! urgh!
bummer coz zack raves about the crabs there..
and the aroma when we reached there was tantalizing!
so we had steamboat instead, which sucks.. (should have listened to zack)
but the walk thereafter was nice..
enjoying the seabreeze.. chatting.. walking hand in hand..
laughing @ couples wearing couple-tees (i noe i noe, i was guilty of that BEFORE)
ogling at dashchunds.. dreaming of owning one..
talking about everything and anything under the stars..
How often can you find that someone who is able to touch you in an inexplicable manner?
that someone..
i'm glad for it all.. :)

got some bad news though..
Ant's dad is in hospital..
might be suffering from stroke..
unsure what the dianogsis is..
ant is KL but he might be coming back..
feel for him.. all alone in KL..
the helplessness while he sit and wait for news
God will pull you thru this ant.. be strong *hugz*

Pics from Bangkok... Enjoy!

awww... look at him....
he likes me.....

Puppies, Puppies and more puppies!! 

Winner has no trophy.. hahaha!

2nd place zack? dun pout sweet, u'll still get loadsa kissess... :P

Us @ Zanottli.. nice ambience & nice FIOE GRAS! yum yum... 

Look at this black blob of mess!!

thats zack's squid ink risotto.. but it taste good..

zack @ Central World Plaza (i think..) 

Ah Gua Show

we gotta pay 100 baht for every 'gal' we took a pic with Madness! but we didnt pay all.. hahaha!

Oh man oh man.... Lucky zack! 

Look at those boobs man!!!  

Isnt 'she' sweet??? doesnt she look like the Hong Kong actress, Fiona something?

Roger / Kurt / Tony's Farewell Party

Presenting Mr Roger Wilkinson!

Theme: Shanghai Tan
Venue: Singapore Cricket Club

Roger, Kurt and Tony will be posted to our Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou offices respectively. Some background info...

Going to miss Roger loads.. in fact, i'm missing him already...
very nice boss...

me! black & white is becoming on me.. hide the flaws!

i resembles my mum....

Daughters in full force! Feathers, gloves, shawls!

My Hairdo.. Courtesy of Johnny!

Father & 6 Daughters

One of the program for the night... the '6 Daughters'!

brought some work home to do..
i shld be doing it but just cant work up the energy..
tired..

sometimes i think that i am a fool...
i'm not making any sense aint i?

its alright..

nobody knows it but me..

touched on something i shouldnt have..
*ouch*

mmmmm..........

its raining stars!
its just so awesome watching the fireworks explode right before you
the showers of stars raining down..
are amazing... more so with your dearest beside you :)

Bang!!!

view from the benjamin shears bridge.. lovely isnt it?

Went down to River Hong Bao to usher in the New Year
my first 'outdoor' CNY celebration!
walked up to Benjamin Shears bridge to watch the fireworks


the redness symbolises good luck.. hahaha! NOT! its the lousy lighting..

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Let's welcome the year of the Rooster!

Had reunion dinner with Zack and his family..
first time meeting his aunt, uncles and cousins *nervous*
but it was good..
nice people.. was made welcomed by all :)

had a dream last night...
about diamonds...
woke up and pinched myself (or my ears)
NO! it wasnt only a dream! *beams*

celebrated our 7 mths annivesary yesterday
its been an awesome 7 mths
i really cant ask for more
am so so blessed :)

was as pampered as a princess *big grin*
zack picked me up from work..
cooked a wonderful dinner for me..
his signature dish.. pasta with crabstick, scallops and clam chowder
and i didnt even have to do the dishes!
then the big bang came..
my anniversary cum valentines' day present!

guess what it is?!?!?

DIAMOND EARRINGS!!!
it was beautiful..
i was speechless..
throat welled up..
eyes got damp..
heart felt like bursting..

my boy bought me diamonds..
no one has ever bought me diamonds..
my first ever diamond earrings.. sobs..

had a lovely saturday :)

met up at long last with my 2 favourite guys, though they drive me up the wall most of the time!

was running late for church so ben offered to pick me up (so sweet right.. ) when i was blowing my hair, he told me to just forget it cos my hair will be messed up anyway... ahhhhh, had an inking and i was like 'wat car are u driving this time?!?!' and 5 Feb 2005 marks the first time i sat in a BMW Convertible!!! Woohoooooo....! *big grin*

drove off with the top down but after like about 15mins, the top goes up.

why???
1) cos it was frigging HOT!
2) we were yelling to be heard over all that noise and wind

been a long while since we all went for service together but silly Ant wanted to stay home to bake bread (it turned out too salty, serves him right! :P) so that leaves with Ben and i.

service was good, Pastor Dom preached on Spiritual Baptism... (makes me ponder about my spirit man.. sigh..) was truly a 'reunion sat'.. saw Chevy! what are the odds that we will meet after just a couple of days ago, we were saying how we've not met up once since chatting a year ago.. saw Aaron too.. then when Ben and i were walking back to the car, guess who parked just behind us but Ian and Claire! wat a day! :)

then met up with Ant at Holland V... drove with the top down this time.. realy attention seeking.. basking in the glamour, even if its temporary.. we can always dream right :P
had this warm fuzzy feeling as we walked along holland v
dawned on me that we have known each other for more than a decade
played together, worshipped together, fought together (ben.. lol), laughed together
distance didnt 'distance' the friendship (pardon the pun)
we've all walked different paths but our friendships are still going strong :)

i thank God for them..
though they are so full of crap most of the time but i still love them to bits!

Zack came to pick me to meet Hui Ching and Andy for supper..
and guess what's for supper? TAO KEE!!!

Urgh! shldnt have eaten the earthquake! only had room for a fried mantou and a prawn paste chicken wing :( and only watched by as Zack devoured a plate of beef kway teow.. sobs..

Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have?"

Happy
Your eyes are really happy. you are spoiled, and have a wonderful family who cares for you and will get you anything you want. You are popular, and everyone loves either your style you or just how nice you are. The guys love you to death, and they kiss the ground you step on. While your friends ask you for any advice you can give.

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

August
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

i'm finally on cable! yay!! at long last...

the irony is.....
its not hooked up to my pc :(

hello.com is not working so cant post any pics for now :(
tsk tsk
i need to fix my pc
i need loadsa dough
for the first time in ages, my pc is sitting there like a white elephant

sigh

read this article on ching's blog, was taken from Straits Times 31 Jan 05. Quite a fair bit of discussions on this article i must say

so folks, read on...

When Mr Right comes at the wrong time
Timing is everything, even in love. And when you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it

"SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.
Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.

'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.

But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.
And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.
We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.
He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.
I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.
I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.

Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.

But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.

My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.

He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.

I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.

In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.

Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.

And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.
So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?

In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.

The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.

I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.

He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.

The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.

I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.

I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.

Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.
But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.

The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.

If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.

These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.

Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.

But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.

Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this topic came up when i was lunching with my colleague yesterday.. about relationships and all.. not marrying the person u love most but having to settle for someone who is 'suitable' at that time. Pointed that in some cases, one might actually end up marrying someone he/she does not love wholeheartedly.. then the questions came.

"How do you quantify love?"
"Why are u even in the relationship when u are not giving your all?"
"Do people marry because they are ready? or because the Right One came along? or both goes hand in hand?"
"Did that Someone ready you for marriage? or its just your biological clock ticking?"


told this to someone, "life is all about hits and misses... if i miss, i miss"
but i do so agree that timing can be everything

i've no doubts on where i stand in this matter
a friend of mine once told me, "God takes away the good and gives you the best"


it hit me
then I see the Light
*smile*

chevy just pointed out that this time last year was when we first started chatting on msn...
and we've not met up once!
jeez, 1 year flew by just like that
*shudders*


ahhhhhhh....
craving for kuah bangkit has not ebbed...

just when we are on the verge of giving up our search for the wallets we got our eye on...
WE FOUND IT!!!
combed almost all the Wallet Shops in spore..
placed our names on waiting lists..
then we found them (both of them!) lying unassumingly on the shelf at the Renoma section in Seiyu! *big grin*

bye Gucci... u'll be missed..
i'm such a sentimental dope..