was some rough night.
a bad dream. a bad bad dream.
woke up at 4.30am, stomach heaving.
nothing swirls up.
I thank God.

zack was looking at our honeymoon pics,
updating his friendster pics.
reminded me i've yet to post our Paris trip report Part 2!
couple of screws to tighten then its set.

couldnt get back to sleep after.
when i finally did, i had a flashback.
when he chased me out of my home.
but this time, i retort.."you dun have to, i've got my own!"
the pain was real.
the tears were real.
the past was... real.

Forgiveness?
they say it takes time.
i say it's like taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back.
unearthing the buried past..
is that it?

i wish for it to stay buried.

the thawing after the freeze..

...can be painful.

perhaps its the time of the year.
where things get pretty haywire.
where i get irrational.
but he is trying.
so i must too.
i just have to keep remembering.
we are a team..
and we must work together.


to brighten an otherwise gloomy day..
zack is picking me up from work! :)