the storm before the calm

oh my gosh, this is really un-mistakeable. Our little girl recognises Daddy's voice!

I roused when Zack came home from fishing early this morning. Little darling has been sleeping but when Zack came to bed and started talking to her, she got really active! We felt her little kicks and nudges for as long as Zack coo to her. It's really amazing! We are having a miracle in the making :)

The past week had been a rough one. An excerpt from my pregnancy book clearly expressed it (to the T):

HOW TO FREAK A PREGNANT WOMAN

"Happily, most ultrasound exams show that all is going (and growing) well with baby. But for some women, a level 2 ultrasound may go something like this: One minute you are starry-eyed as you gaze at the ultrasound screen, marveling at the miraculous image of your baby floating blissfully inside you. The next minute, the technician is calling for the doctor, who knocks you right off cloud 9 and into a state of panic with a few frightening words: "We see something - a soft marker - that might indicate a problem."

But before you panic, it's important to gain some reassuring perspective. Though "soft markers" on an ultrasound (detected during 5 to 10 percent of second-trimester ultrasounds, depending on the marker) are subtle characteristics that may indicate an increased risk of a chromosomal problem (most often Down Syndrome or trisomy 18), these characteristics are also found in plenty of babies who are perfectly healthy. In fact, very few babies who show these soft markers (such as choroid plexus cyst, echogenic foci, or pyelectasia, to name a few) actually end up having a chromosomal abnormality. Which means that in the majority of cases, these so-called abnormal findings don't indicate anything abnormal at all.

Your practitioner may suggest some more tests (like an amnio) to find out for sure, but in the meantime, take a deep breath and remember that sometimes technology - which can bring so much joy - can also bring unneeded worry."

Scheduled to do an amniocentesis. We waited 3 days to know if we are in the clear. Needless to say, that 3 days were filled with terror and fear. But one thing that was certain, whatever the outcome, we wouldnt interrupt the pregnancy. We love her too much and she is too real to both of us. We talked about it way before on what would be done should there be birth defects and agreed that an interruption would be best. But when you are slapped with the possibility of it, things got shifted into a whole new perspective. You just can't do it. It's quite unthinkable and you have this instinct to protect what's yours. I've even gone far enough to ask Zack if he knows if the school fees for downs children is much higher than normal school fees. And worrying that she'll get raped cos she is a gal who cant take care of herself (that's the worst fear of a woman). Yeah i know.. the places my mind goes sometimes.

Friday was the day of revelation. Our ob gave us his secretary number to call for results. Couldnt get hold of her so i sent him an email instead. He replied in 8 mins.

3 words.

"Normal, baby girl."

Normal. How a 6-letter word could mean so much. I could have collasped there and then. I immediately called Zack who had been bugging me if i had made the call the whole afternoon, though i told him i'll give him a code: Negative = Going to do my brows, Positive = Going home (to cry). That huge sense of relief was incredible, i cant find the words to express it.

But i've learnt something very important through this episode. That is to not take anything for granted. I've been blessed with an easy pregnancy; no bad morning sickness, no complications, no bloating and excessive weight gain. So much so that i tend to take it for granted that i'll breeze through the whole 9 mths and give birth to beautiful baby. This is clearly a wake-up call to me that everything is so precarious and we should not be complacant and careless but be thankful and humble for all that we're blessed with.

She is so much more precious to us after this.. and everyday i thank God for her. (she is stretching inside as i'm typing this! :)) And our little girl is going to be a healthy and strong gal.. her name means "Strong and Mighty" *beams*

What didn't break us only made us stronger :)