Monday morning blues.. *yawns* got a shock with i came in to the office today.. the leaves from my plant are all standing up! still figuring out why this is so.. not enough water? too much water? not enough sunlight? gosh, hope i dun kill this one *fingers crossed* hehehe...

had a relaxing week... it was the first weekend in a long time where i realy had time to do my stuff.. no appointments, commitments... just bum, bum & bum :P

Friday
Meet zack after work at TM.. My boy bought his bike! *Hugz!* my boy soooo happy! :) I still think its dangerous, must be careful k dear.. *hugz* Had dinner at Cafe Cartel *same table, nostalgic :) * had this realy good dessert called Chocolate Gateway.. sinful, awesome! the chocolate fudge was superb with vanilla ice-cream over the brownie.. oh man, orgasmic! ahhh......

Was contemplating joining ant, bris & guys at wala wala but the journey from Tampines to Buona Vista realy puts me off.. was a major struggle between chilling out, live band, drinking to my love affair with nora roberts.. Nora roberts won, sorry dudes! trust me, it was tough making that decision :P But i conked out the minute my head touched my pillow! so no wala wala, no nora roberts.. just blissful sleep.... hahaha!

Saturday
Pampering day! Imagine waking up at 8am on a Saturday morning! *groans*... but it was all worthwhile :) had a facial (coffee scrub!) at Cynthia's then pop over to Johnny's for my haircut.. highlighted my hair.. was all good though my face hurts from the scrub.. pain lasted for the whole day :(

Zack & i had a late dinner at 10 plus, more like supper.. hehe.. went to hougang for chong pang nasi lemak.. yummy.. had their 'chicken from brazil'.. tastes goood, chicken from brazil leh! hahaha! kidding, no diff! tried lady's fingers for the 1st time.. errrmm.. it taste exactly how i imagine lady's fingers will taste like.. *eyes crossed* but my boy loves it! *opps* hehehe..

Sunday
Bumming day! Bum the whole day... was so nice just relaxing at home with my dear :) Went J8 for dinner.. teppanyaki! love the way they cook the bean sprouts.. watched Bourne Supremacy at 8.50pm Was a little skeptical about this flick initialy as i didnt catch Bourne Identity but it turned out to be one of the better flicks i've watched so far. Apart from Matt Damon's good looks.. heheh.. the flick was solid. Pace fast & engaging, managed to keep me at my chairs' edge most of the time.. though i found the car chase towards the end a little wee bit lengthy.. but the ending touched me..
In all, it was good, good, good!


Thats all folks! another week begins...

my monitor is here!

it just came in! My beautiful black, sleek, LCD monitor! Gosh, my desk look so much neater without my bulky fat monitor.. i can work better now! hahaha! waiting for my pentium 2.8 now *waiting in anticipation* Wonder when will i be able to upgrade my home pc.. think its going to conk out on me soon.. Oh! my cable will be coming soon! 31 August, mark that date! just cant wait! Missed my adsl so much, hate dialup so so much.. every month gotta 'budget' on my airtime.. missed those 'parking' days.... But its alright! i'm back baby! :D

By the way gals, pics will be up after i get my cable up & running ya.. not going online often from now til then coz i've exceeded my airtime by a whopping 11 hours! that brings up my bill to an astounding figure of $40! i noe i noe, $40 isnt alot for some ppl but i'm a poor girl ok :P

Freezing cold in my office today.. hands are getting stiff.. good thing i'm all bundled up in my jacket.. Ok,back to work! *nice nice monitor.. hehe*

ramblings...

i need peace.. i need quiet..

need to clear my thoughts..

a merry-go-round life is like.. spins u round & round..

feeling is good.. but disorientates u when it stops..

then u think.

what now?

i'm getting giddy, i'm talking nonense..

i'm happy, i'm confused..

i walk, i stumble, then i walk again..

the race has started,

am i running? or am i strolling?

i'm tired..

should i turn left? or should i turn right?

should i move forward? or should i move back?

should i jump? or should i fall?

should i struggle? or should i drift?

where would it lead me?

i'm getting thirsty, i'm feeling full

i'm getting hot, i'm feeling cold..

i think too much.. i sleep too little..

overwhelmed, overjoyed..

scared, but giving all..

i wanna weep, i wanna laugh..

step by step, leap by leap..

skipping these days, running these days..

will i fall?

will i bruise?

Happy Birthday Mummy @}-,--`---

Happy Birthday Mummy! You would be 54 today if you're still ard... miss u lots... sometimes i wonder how life will be if u are still ard.. i know i wouldnt be wat i am today if not for you... you are the best mother one could ever hope for.. i wanna be as good a mother as you.. i wanna do you proud.. i wanna be a good daughter to u.. i wanna see your smile again.. i wanna hear your laughter.. i want u to hold me in yr arms again.. when will that day come? when we meet in Heaven... ok ok, i noe.. i will go church, i can hear u nagging now.. *smile*... gosh, i miss u so much...

Happy Birthday to the Best Mother in the world! *remembered i made u a card with this caption... u were so proud u displayed it on the display shelf & then brought it to work to place on yr desk... *smile*

love you mummy...

- na

GaLs NiTe OuT!!

Had a wonderful night tonite.. met up with Jo, Siying, Jane & Yingyan.. jo got her driving license!! you go, gal!! our gals-only nite out! Always enjoyed our time together though more often than not, i'll come home with a sore throat... why? coz everyone will be talking at the same time & at the top of our voice to be overheard.. or gotta repeat at least 3 times cos someone will missed out on wat you said... hahaha!

Jo was so so sweet & nice, she picked all of us at our various location... siying at her home, jane & yingyan at bugis.. me at cityhall.. thanks jo, realy realy appreciate it though i complained u're late for an hour :P your driving not bad uh! though i missed the part about your dangerous wrong turn.. hahaha! *buckle your seatbelts ladies!!* went to airport for some bitching (wats new? hahaha!) Went to starbucks cos coffee bean was crowded & according to Ms Pan, its next to the toilet! so unglamourous! hahaha!

Anthony, Bris & Dan came over at past midnight.. & guess what was the first thing that silly ant said when he came over? "ok, so which one of u is single?" wanna skin him alive there & then! hahaha! alright, for your info, only 2 are single! 3 are happily attached! ;) *ok, wish i had join u guys for changi nasi lemak, my stomach is growling now.. * & sorry, you cant tempt these ladies with food & bapok watching at changi... hehehe...

Went crazy snapping away... will post the pics tomorrow! For now, its bedtime for me! Long day tomorrow... better start my sheep counting soon..

ps: jo,jane,ying,yy - thank you for all these years of friendship.. your unwavering support & concern.. love you gals loads! *hugs!!*

Tribute to Mummy...

its been 5 years since u left me & i miss u so much... miss your smile, your hugs, your robust laughter, your 'l love you's, your 'xin gan', your cooking, your prayers before i sit for my papers, your early morning nestums, your banana cake, how u wud iron my uniform crisp, your nagging about my late nights.. the list can go on forever... i miss scrubbing water chestnuts for u, buying yong tau foo from the market, mopping the floor for you, our chats while you are cooking...

Sometimes, the pain is so acute it seems that it all happened yesterday... Never question God why He took u away.. only know that He loves you too much to watch you suffer.. Will always remember the way you closed your eyes that night with a smile on your face & said, "it feels so good to be loved.."

How you have always believed in showing love to ppl ard u.. How you stood up for me when people didnt understand.. You taught me to love, to care, to have courage to take on watever comes my way, humility... wish u're here to hold me to your chest & tell me everything is going to be fine... Love you mummy... Dedicated this song to you before.. now i'm dedicating it to you again..

i miss you so much.. *hugs...*

A Song For Mama

You taught me everything

And everything you've given me

I always keep it inside

You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything

Or anyone I can be

And it just wouldn't feel right

If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me

to love and care for me

When skies were grey

Whenever I was down

You were always there to comfort me

And no one else can be what you have been to me

You'll always be you always will be the girl In my life for all times

Mama, mama you know I love you

Oh you know I love you

Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart

Your love is like Tears from the stars

Mama, I just want you to know

Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always there for me

Have always been around for me even when I was bad

You showed me right from my wrong

Yes you did
And you took up for me

When everyone was downin' me

You always did understand

You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times

Looking back when I was so afraid

And then you come to me

And say to me I can face anything

And no one else can do

What you have done for me

You'll always be

You will always be the girl in my life

"you will always be present tense to me..."

- na

i love salmon croissant..

My boy just bought me salmon croissant for breakfast.. so touched.. *sob sob* he was working night shift & knocked off at 8.. had breakfast & bought my breakfast.. delivered it to my office.. sigh.. *smile* he looked so tired.. my poor boy didn’t get much sleep last night.. on his way home now.. please take care dear… *hugs!* love u to bits! Muah muah!

Another First!

My first clubbing session with my boy! 13 August 2004, Mark the date! Hehehe… Was realy tired from work & feeling lousy, tot wud be good to hole up at home... but glad I didn’t! Met up with zack at 6.40pm – Orchard mrt. Managed to sort things out… thanks dear for understanding & listening.. it had been weighing on me the entire day & getting your understanding on this matter helps so much.. & airing wat was on our mind.. realy dislike the ‘distance’ between us.. Guess it is important to settle issues whenever it arises.. dislike sweeping things under the carpet & let it brew… alls well now! *Smile*

We bought our rings! Finally! Funny how looking at that ring on my finger always make me go soft inside.. :)

Then its clubbing time! Celebrated Val’s bday at Chinablack & boy do I feel old! Guys in crewcuts.. people talking about 2pm lectures.. urgh! I miss school! First time dancing with my boy.. boy did we heat up the dancefloor! *cheeky grin* wonderful night.. another first for us.. *HUGS n MUAHS!!!!*

wasted years...

He doesn’t want me to contact him… unless it was an emergency… I asked, is this how things will be like from now?… he replied, yes… why does things have to be like this? Had those years been wasted…is this realy it? thats it? sad how backs can be turned from those years of memories...

Gosh, hope the day gets better (wats left of it..)… never felt this lousy in awhile.. think I’m going to conk out soon, wud be another long night… *sigh*

...........

feeling kinda down right now.. had a bad nite... why does things have to be like this? everything was perfect.. i was learning but not well enough..but it hurts, really badly.. i guess it will have to take a backseat for awhile while i get back what little confidence i had lost.. the pain was real & sharp, i can feel it searing across my chest.. it hurts & i cant stop those tears from falling.. dunno what to do from now, where to go from here.. you were upset.. i was scared.. i was sad.. not faulting you on it.. you hugged me tight & kissed my tears away.. it was comforting.. but it hurts, really badly.. cant help hearing those words in my head repeatedly...those words.. i need time to get past it...

Thought: God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way..

The 1st Entry

My first entry (at long last!) created this account months ago but only got down to do something about it today... alright, guess i'm into the world of blogging now.. ^_^

Payroll is almost done so can relax a little at work... its that TIME of the month again *shakes head* thank goodness its all done! Though it can be crazy at work sometimes, i still love my work :) At work now, killing some time while waiting for my zack to knock off.. 1.5 more hours & i can see my boy! *big smile!* its amazing how someone can make me feel this way again.. when i tot all was gone and was so weary, God placed him into my life.. *holding on to my boy with my dear life!*

Saying it had been an eventful 7 mths wud be an understatement. So many ups and downs, a major emotional roller coaster ride for me.. i was getting breathless.. but the ride had stopped and i've reached home :)