So yesterday Zack and i brought Megan out shopping - Compass Point, Ikea and Giant. She enjoys going out, especially loves car rides. It's so funny how she only cries at traffic lights. Once Daddy drives off, she stops.. hahaha.

Our priority totally changed. After a nice meal at Ikea (fish & chips!), Zack suggested going to the kids section. We intended to just grab a clock and poof. Now it's all about Megan :)

Oh look what's new in the store?!

a baby's high chair!
the seat is actually red.
the black and red suits our kitchen actually.. haha.

she looks so cute in it!!!
totally cant resist and bought it.. though it'll be months before Megan can sit in it!

Last visit to Ikea, Pappe got a new bed.
This visit, Megan got a new chair.
Now when am i gonna get my chair???

Last night.. my sister stayed over!
Zack was working night, Andrew (BIL) went overnight fishing..
so my sis decided to stay over and play with Megan.
told her Megan is always very cheery in the morning after her morning feed.. she'll be smiling and playing with her mobile.. so cute! (She smiles when i play and talk with her, she smiles when i turn on her mobile and can stare at the rotating pooh, tigger, eyeore and piglet for quite awhile!)



It sure was nice having her around. To chat with and share Megan with :)
She was up waiting for Megan to wake for her night feed but our little darling only woke up at 3.30am. Meanwhile she played Restaurant City on facebook and guess who was online? Zack. Supposed to work, still can play game! Aiyoooooh! I was able to sleep soundly knowing she was around to keep an eye. Megan has a very doting auntie and is gonna be spoilt rotten!

Hmmm.....
it's already 11.15pm and Megan is still asleep.
her last feed was at 6.30pm!
think i'll bring her to my room and sleep with her tonight :)
i probably wouldnt sleep much cos she makes so much noise in her sleep. My sis was complaining that she got cheated by Megan so many times last night.. hahaha. Thought she's gonna wake but that's our dear gal mumbling in her sleep :)

If someone had told me 5 years before that my day will start when the sun is young and i'll hit the sack way before midnight - on a non-working day, i'd tell them they're nuts.

By 8.30am these days, i'd most likely have fed my Megan, clothes in the washer, bottles all sterilized, water boiled, fresh water (with dental liquid) for Pap, kitchen wiped down, taken my vits, essence of chicken and starting to clean the floor. Trying to get all necessities done before my little boss wakes or starts to fuss from her rocker. I let her watch Travel & Living.. haha.

Gosh.. HUGE change for a nocturnal like me who wakes at 2pm, sleeps at 4am and housechoring is a once-a-week thing. Staying in bed all afternoon with a book, surfing the net all night.. and painting the town red the hours in between.

I still look back with a pang, knowing that i'd never go back to that again.. ever. I always seem to take longer getting adjusted to new roles. Letting go of the old will take awhile..

At times i feel so tired.. so drained. Thinking of what needs to be settled soon. I'm not happy. At times i feel elated.. which only happens when i look at my sweet darling (when she's not wailing her lungs out). Feel sad that my time with her is running out.

Right now.. i dunno how my days will start and how it'll end. Everyday is like an emotional roller ride.

Can i get off now?

separation anxiety... i miss my mac..

We left Megan at Zack's parents for the day so we could get some rest. I havent slept much the past 2 days and i've still 1 more night to go cos Zack is on 3 nights shift. She had been a handful the past few days. While i'm relieved for the break (my back is breaking!) i can't help missing her. Felt like a bad mother for abandoning Megan :(

Just woke up from an uninterrupted sleep and guess what? I still couldnt sleep! Thought i heard her cry and woke up.

Gonna go pick her up at 5.30pm. Hope Megan's been good grandpa grandma's house.

My Darling Hubby bought me my favourite snacks....

.....cos i had a tough day with our LM :)
that's to cheer me up and they are all mine! dun need to share! :P

he's the sweetest!!!
muaks! love you many many!

gosh.. Zack is really good at Restaurant City.
he rearranged my layout and it's doing better!
i'm reaching level 8... wooohoooo!
cant believe he's so addicted to this game.. hahaha

10mins and i'm heading to bed..
Megan has knocked out and hopefully stays down for another 2 hrs.
She was an angel last night..
slept for 5hrs between her 2 night feeds!
Zack only had to wake to do the 3am feed while i did the 8am feed.
though i woke at 5.45am to pump cos my breasts were engorged.
SLEEP..... i shall never take you for granted.. ever!

Our current addiction.....

......Restaurant City on Facebook!

Zack is playing my restaurant, his and Megan's!
yeah he finally set up an account but solely for this game.. haha.
we are trading ingredients among ourselves.. hehe.
gosh.. its 7.15pm and we are still playing!
supposed to be going to compass point.
Megan is clean, fed and snoozing in my arm :)
i'm gonna sleep all night tonight!!!
Zack is on night duty :P

Life is a blast...

Megan is asleep in her rocker.. *sigh of relief*
she was a total monster yesterday!
only slept a total of 1 hr 20mins the entire day..
the rest of the time she was incredibly fussy.
i did EVERYTHING to coax her..
the minute she was alone, her tirade starts.. *sigh*
come 8.30pm, i begged Zack to come home cos i was going bonkers.
he took over when he came home and i completely knocked out.
looks like week 8 is turning out to be a tough one.
week 7 was paradise.
week 6 was a nightmare.. complete with Pappe being hospitalised.

My Nightmare...
i went through hell that week.

Pappe was all perky running around when suddenly she (tongue) turned blue.

it was fortunate i picked it up immediately and we rushed her to the clinic.

and also thank God that my auntie was here so she looked after Megan. Took blood tests and she was given oxygen. Vet at the clinic said we had to send her to the hospital cos they do not have the equipment. So we sent her to Mt Pleasant after 30mins of oxygen - she looked pink again. Did X-rays and found out she got a grade 5 heart murmur - grade 6 being the worst, and had to be hospitalised for 1 night. She recovered really well and could go home the next day. We monitored her for 3 days and sent her back to the clinic for a follow up. And guess what? Her heart murmur dropped to 2! The vet said it is very strange and is rare. It's a good sign but she still gotta be on medication for life.

I cant begin to say how i feel.

Pappe is so essential to me.. she's been with me for the past 10 years. Bought her after mummy passed away and has been my constant comfort. She's been through so much with me (though Zack likes to say she doesnt have a choice).. we've moved to so many houses. I used to bring her everywhere with me.. orchard shopping, library, school.. i'd pack her in a bag and off we go striding in the world. What happened recently forced me to face the reality that we do not have another 10 years. She is aging and will one day leave me. I cant cant imagine life without her. I really dunno what i'd do if she leaves.. i'll die.. seriously. I tried to give her the best. Premium food and healthy diet. Even bought Chile to keep her company. I didnt wanna get a car so soon but Zack said we can bring the dogs out - he is smart, knows which buttons to push. After we gave Chile away and Megan is out, i showered more attention on her. Then her heart condition surfaced. I'm keeping an eye on her constantly - even at night! With Megan needing constant attention.. it's no mean feat. Pappe always has been a fussy eater and she has lost alota weight. Now i'm coaxing her to eat when she is being picky.. *sigh* I think she is getting irritated cos i call her every now and then to check on her and her tongue.. haha. What i'm telling everyone.. i got one who eats constantly, and one who refuses to eat.. *sigh* life is such joy.

In anycase, i'm so thankful for Zack.

who had been so supportive and is such a wonderful father and hubby. Despite pulling in the shifts, he still helps with the night feedings some nights so i could sleep. Though he dont understand why i'm so worried over Pappe (dun think anyone does) but he was there for me. That night when Pappe was hospitalised, Zack was working night shift. He came home at midnight for me cos i was so distraught. This act of love i will never forget.

He said we deserve a break and we're going on a holiday in dec!
so that's something to look forward to :)

a mini date with my darling dearest!

its past 9 and my little Megan is sound asleep nex to me..
pappe was lying next to us (dun let the grandmas noe)..
read her the story of Noah after her feed..
as i cuddle her in my arms and she doze sleepily..
i cant help this surge of love and i just tear - hormones still out of whack.
gosh i love this little one so much.. and guess what?
she's mine! :)

Zack and i managed to grab some time to ourselves this afternoon!
PIL babysat for us while we catch a flick at TM :)
it's been too long!
my darling hubby treated me to Fish&Co..
that's for being the best wife and mum.. awww... *blush*
i love you too baby!

he's at work now..
somehow i'm missing him tonight..

hoping Megan will sleep long hours tongiht.
she slept from 8pm - 1.30am last night.
Zack and i both knocked out and we managed to get 5.5hrs of sleep!
thats really a recording breaking 5.5 hrs for me!
sleep really does wonders to my disposition... seriously.

gonna do some chores then hit the sack..
megan dear.. pleeeease sleep til past midnight again...

why do i feel depressed most mornings?
tapped out..
zapped out..
sometimes i feel like i've nothing more to give..
so how's a lil care?
so how's a lil concern?
i have nothing more to give..
i'm tired.. in every sense

why do i feel at this dusk of dawn..
that i'd never be the one..
all i am is an instrument..
you have loyalty but not to me..
never to me..
cos i'm never the one..

oh what have i done?
what have i done to myself?
i had it going good..

what have i done?

i'm terrified.

9/9/9 - anything special happened on this day?

Megan smiled at me when i talked to her!
she's been smiling quite abit recently.. especially after her feeds.
today is the first time she breaks into a grin when i came round to her cot :)

she's now asleep in her sling :)


i'm contemplating bringing her and pappe down for a walk... hmmm....
maybe at 7 when it's cooler..

Today is the 7th.....

.....and our little darling is 7 weeks old!



and we're going to Ikea!
gonna buy Pappe a new bed and some toys.
(note to self: buy stuffed elephant for Sy too)

in a saturday...

my darling hubby waiting while i had my haircut.. muaks! :)
(he even fed and changed Megan's diaper ;))

ohhhh... what's that he's carrying??


*gasps* it looks like......


......a snoozing chubby tubby!

Our little darling's full month celebration

A card that goes with the little giftbag for our guests.

*more pics up soon*

My shame that i didnt take any shots that day :(
these are a few taken by Ellyne.

Chris proposed to Ellyne that day!

He put the ring on a chain and Megan wore it. I got Ellyne to carry Megan while i put on a video the guys did the day before. Footage of the video will be P&C unless approved by the producers. After the vid, he came into the room, got down on a knee and proposed to her! (Of crse it's way more romantic when how i've written here)

Our lovely friends who came.. bearing gifts and coos for our little princess :)


they're awesome! They had came by to see Megan a few times already :)
my only regret was not inviting Theresa, Evelyn, Kel, Evon and a few others from Willis instead. Couldnt invite many cos Zack did a mass invitation and i was afraid we couldnt handle the crowd so i had to limit who i invite.


Ellyne also took a few gorgeous shots of Pappe!




isn't she gorgeous?
my baby...
i love her too much!
did i mention how excited she was when Megan came home?
and how protective and sticky she was when i was expecting Megan?
she would even follow me to the toilet and sit next to the toilet bowl!
many commented on what a lovely dog she is..
Hui Ching's Leon and Renee's Collin both sang her praises.
said they would wanna get a dog like her if they've the chance :)

her birthday is coming up soon.. next month!