Boxing Day today! not many presents to box anyway... but i'm thankful for each and every one of them :)

went to wala to celebrate christmas eve...
EIC wasnt playing that night *bummer*
The Unexpected was.. wasnt too psyched about the lead singer..
dun ask me why.. prob coz of her attitude.. loadsa it!
one more self realisation that night..
I am a moody / broody drunk..
or maybe its just an amplification of wats inside..

dun generally dislike anyone..
but there's this someone i dun have good vibes about..
wonder why..

spent Christmas at Zack's church.. small and cosy..
really nice to attend a small church..
where everyone knows everyone..
folks there are real friendly and not pushy..
wonder how is Trinity's christmas service like this year..
first time in years i didnt spend my christmas at Trinity.. missed it

then we are off to Kevin & Charmaine's church wedding..
gosh, this is by far the most romantic wedding i've attended..
i teared!! & i dun even know them personally!
(some background info: Kevin was the drummer in Zack's band)
Kevin sang this song to Charmaine and he teared..
gosh.. i teared too...
then there was this part where the wedding couple thanked their parents..
more tears..
and i was thinking i am never ever going to be able to do that..
it stabbed me..
i teared..
everything was just so beautiful..
i was turning into a fountain..

was an emotional wreck yesterday..

know wats one of the worst feeling one can feel?
having to smile when u feel like your heart has just been stabbed..
having to talk and laugh when all u wanna do is hide in a corner and weep..
no one sees wats inside..
coz i conceal it well..

maybe it lies with me
coz i cant see my worth
i try and i try and i try
to win that love
to prove that i am worthwhile
maybe i dun even have to
maybe i just dunno any other way
was so sure of myself
but i'm wavering now

spending the sun afternoon alone with my thoughts..
too many to keep me occupied..
had some words of caution from my dear friend..
thanks pal, appreciate your concern..
i hear u, i do..
headache brewing
hope i snap outta it soon..