i really need to clean the house.. but its dark outside.. cant see the dirt so no point cleaning right? haha.. shall do it tomorrow when it's bright.. gotta take half a days' leave tomorrow.. got some stuff to settle..

caught Dukes of Hazzard last night (it was real funny by the way) and wanted to check out some punggol units we got our eye on on our way home.. saw something i hope we would never encounter.. a dog was lying on the road.. apparently she got ran over.. we made a u-turn to check things out.. she had already passed on.. there's blood flowing out from her mouth and her eyes were open.. didnt know who to call.. police? anything but leave her lying there.. was sobbing real hard right in the middle of road.. and zack was like: "ju, dun cry.. people's gonna think we ran her down.." anyway, zack carried her to the side and lay her on the grass beneath a tree.. said a prayer and went on our way.. had a crazy notion to bury her but i know thats crazy..

wasnt in any mood to check out any units so we made our way home.. felt so raw.. crap, i'm still feeling the ache..

zack's on night shift tonight.. my first night alone since july.. lonely.. oh i'm so lonely.. well at least there's pappe but she disappeared right after i fed her dinner.. hai.. that gal doesnt know how fortunate she is..

and there's no one to pat my back and soothe me when i get my nightmares.. *sobs*