i held his papery-thin hand.. and weep

k-gong (godma's dad) isnt feeling too good.. well, thats actually an understatement.. he has lost his will to live.. he had a major stroke 13 years ago and had been bedridden since.. and i think he just about had enough..

he has been starving himself and its coming to the 3rd week.. doc said if this continues, he wouldnt live past next week.. guess everyone is coming to terms with his decision but you cant help feeling that deep wrenching pain in your chest..

visited him last night.. he's bone-thin.. and in pain.. zack did some basic checks - his pulse.. and said he's still going strong and has a long way to go.. but.. i dunno.. wat can we do.. if he doesnt wanna live anymore.. wat can we do.. seeing his watery eyes.. watching how he tries to distance himself.. why does he wanna end his life this way? a part of us knows why.. but it doesnt stop the pain.. not at all

"Lord, grant him peace and if it is your will, take him home peacefully.. please dun let him suffer.."