How do you brew a cup of coffee?
needed a fix this morning
slept for only a total of 8.5 hrs in 2 days
so decided i need a little perk-me-up in my system
a cup of coffee that is!
didnt know how to brew so got some instructions from theresa
"press the full cup button, add condense milk, creamer"
somehow.. my coffee tasted awful
decided to improvise so added some milo
but it still taste awful
hmmmm...
i dunno wat went wrong
24 years of age and i dun noe how to brew a cup of coffee!
tsk tsk..
at least i got my kick

these 2 days had been greeeat!
had some retail therapy.. its da best!!! :D

bought:
2 paperbacks (Nora Roberts - Blue Dahlua and JD Robb - Imitation in Death)
2 tops from Chaos
1 bikini (sweet!)

All in the space of 1.5 hr! (dun ever leave me alone at Far East.. its detrimental for my well-being) love my buys.. but i realised that i had read one of the paperbacks before.. tsk tsk...

Fixed my hair yesterday
chopped off loads of it!
layers, layers and more layers!
colored it dark brown with copper blond streaks
love my new cut!
frames my face nicely :)

and managed to get a little gift for my dear :)


ok, i'm broke now..

"think tat's the problem when one get cut by love so deep tat the scar never really heals."


why do i feel guilty for being happy?

* * * * * * * * * * *

noe wat, i'm done.
done with all the guilt, paranoia, fears
this matters so much to me
everything is beautiful
not gonna screw it up with pesky insecurities
no i'm not.


dwell not in the past
for you cant savour the present
but welcome the future with open arms
and a fearless heart

3.30pm and i have got no mood for work... slacking pace today... why? coz its bluey monday.... dragged myself to work.. had lunch at Swissotel Merchant Court.. food wasnt really appetising.. finished only half of wat's on my plate..

have you ever had this feeling of crawling under a stone and staying there for the next 10 years? then running all over the world to burn off your sudden surge of adrenalin?

i'm restless...

i feel like gymming.. working out a sweat.. i wanna play tennis.. i wanna learn pottery.. i wanna be an artist.. i wanna sketch.. jeez, did i say that out loud?! sometimes, i wish i had pursue that.. sometimes i wonder if i am really me..

do you really know who ju is?
i dont..

should have brought my gym stuff then i can get some workout done and go home together with zack.. do you know gymming can be addictive? or should i go for some retail therapy instead? i think not, coz i'm buried under piles of bills oredi.. sigh.. i need dough.. i seriously need dough..

i'm mentally bored..

au revoir benoni..

ben flew off yesterday...
and we didnt have our last converasation :(

farewell my dear friend..
all the best to your final year
God be with you and stay strong
wish we had spent more time this time round
sorry we didnt.. thought most of it is my fault..
i'm gonna miss u tons..
(u'd better come back next year uh!)
miss having my dear friend ard..

Be good ya.. (i've been saying this for 4 years..)

Take care and godspeed.. *hugz*

a walk down memory lane

came back awhile ago.. scorching hot weather..
went to see mummy
then over to mandai columbarium to see grandma, robin uncle & great grand uncle
pleased to see how well maintained mum's grave is
didnt allow myself to dig deep into my well of emotions..

had a walk down his memory lane last night..
mixed feelings while we sat browsing photos
felt closer to him
but hesitant at the same time
unsure how prepared i am for it
some aspects of it
it felt funny..
stirred something..
pictures say a million words
sometimes i wonder if it is better not to know, not to see
or to see and deal with it head on..

is ignorance really bliss?

stop, stop! no more.. i'm not going down this road..
so help me..

Century Egg vs. Salted Egg

"Among the Chinese communities throughout South-east Asia and especially in China, preserved eggs has continued to be an extremely popular delicacy. It is no coincidence that only duck eggs are use for this delicacy. This is probably because duck eggs are bigger and have a stronger flavor than chicken eggs, and also because the yolk of a duck egg contains more fat than a chicken egg. Basically there are two main types of preserved eggs. The more common type, much favored in southern China, is the (Salted Duck Egg). The other, which has more universal appeal, is the more famous thousand-year-old egg.

Both types of preserved eggs are made by a similar method; it is the material used in the process that are different. Basically salted eggs are made by coating raw duck eggs in a salt and mud paste, then rolling them in rice husks until they are completely covered. At this stage the eggs are packed into an earthenware urn, which is tightly sealed and stored in a cool, dark place for one to two months.

Thousand-year-old eggs (Century Egg) are nothing like as old as their name suggests. They are just raw duck eggs that have been covered with a mixture of wood ash and slaked lime and left for up to a hundred days. By the time they are used, the egg whites will have turned to pale brown jelly and the yolks will be creamy and tinged green."

Now.. thats the diff between century egg (pei dan) and salted egg.
didnt realise that pei dan is actually duck egg
but at least i can see the difference between them.. *wink wink*
hahahaah!
private joke..

muaks, love u tons!

overslept this morning.. the first in a long while.. am still sleepy *yawns*

had dinner with ben last night.. he's leaving on sun *sobs* wouldnt be back til next year.. he's doing his final honours year.. so proud of u dude! :)
crystal jade for dinner.. scallop porridge! ordered this spinach with 3 kinds of eggs (chicken, duck and century egg) dish.. oh man, it was awesome! a must-try for all..

sent me home and we chatted for awhile.. kinda miss those days where we will chat through the night.. but i guess as we grow older, committments set in.. but its nice, really nice.. the time spent :)

realised ben shops the same way as i do
nope, i'm not going to elaborate

i saw a navel jewel stud i wanna get!
its so beautiful.....
its $35
any sponsors???


15 Feb
Another friend going back to Kanga Land...

Did some catching up with Yiming after work.. good ole yiming! still the same tan, spiky hair, quick grin, and fast talk.. never a dull moment with him and so enjoy listening to his surfing stories, his travels, his half-jap housemate antics.. burst my guts out laughing :)

its all good.. thankful for all my friends who have at some point in time touched me dearly.. :) *big hugz to all*

Some news...

woke up this morning with some fear churning in my belly..
didnt wanna get outta bed
where i am safe in arms of security and love..
my safe haven

many fears i've got..
sometimes i let it pass me by..
sometimes i embrace it..


V Day was nice..
our first V Day spent together :)
didnt do much except went to East Coast for dinner..
intended to stay home and cook Phad Thai for dinner
but silly me.. wanted something more 'romantic' (sigh)
so off we went to east coast..

wanted to have crabs but when we reached the place (cant remember the street)
NO MORE CRABS! urgh!
bummer coz zack raves about the crabs there..
and the aroma when we reached there was tantalizing!
so we had steamboat instead, which sucks.. (should have listened to zack)
but the walk thereafter was nice..
enjoying the seabreeze.. chatting.. walking hand in hand..
laughing @ couples wearing couple-tees (i noe i noe, i was guilty of that BEFORE)
ogling at dashchunds.. dreaming of owning one..
talking about everything and anything under the stars..
How often can you find that someone who is able to touch you in an inexplicable manner?
that someone..
i'm glad for it all.. :)

got some bad news though..
Ant's dad is in hospital..
might be suffering from stroke..
unsure what the dianogsis is..
ant is KL but he might be coming back..
feel for him.. all alone in KL..
the helplessness while he sit and wait for news
God will pull you thru this ant.. be strong *hugz*

Pics from Bangkok... Enjoy!

awww... look at him....
he likes me.....

Puppies, Puppies and more puppies!! 

Winner has no trophy.. hahaha!

2nd place zack? dun pout sweet, u'll still get loadsa kissess... :P

Us @ Zanottli.. nice ambience & nice FIOE GRAS! yum yum... 

Look at this black blob of mess!!

thats zack's squid ink risotto.. but it taste good..

zack @ Central World Plaza (i think..) 

Ah Gua Show

we gotta pay 100 baht for every 'gal' we took a pic with Madness! but we didnt pay all.. hahaha!

Oh man oh man.... Lucky zack! 

Look at those boobs man!!!  

Isnt 'she' sweet??? doesnt she look like the Hong Kong actress, Fiona something?

Roger / Kurt / Tony's Farewell Party

Presenting Mr Roger Wilkinson!

Theme: Shanghai Tan
Venue: Singapore Cricket Club

Roger, Kurt and Tony will be posted to our Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou offices respectively. Some background info...

Going to miss Roger loads.. in fact, i'm missing him already...
very nice boss...

me! black & white is becoming on me.. hide the flaws!

i resembles my mum....

Daughters in full force! Feathers, gloves, shawls!

My Hairdo.. Courtesy of Johnny!

Father & 6 Daughters

One of the program for the night... the '6 Daughters'!

brought some work home to do..
i shld be doing it but just cant work up the energy..
tired..

sometimes i think that i am a fool...
i'm not making any sense aint i?

its alright..

nobody knows it but me..

touched on something i shouldnt have..
*ouch*

mmmmm..........

its raining stars!
its just so awesome watching the fireworks explode right before you
the showers of stars raining down..
are amazing... more so with your dearest beside you :)

Bang!!!

view from the benjamin shears bridge.. lovely isnt it?

Went down to River Hong Bao to usher in the New Year
my first 'outdoor' CNY celebration!
walked up to Benjamin Shears bridge to watch the fireworks


the redness symbolises good luck.. hahaha! NOT! its the lousy lighting..

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Let's welcome the year of the Rooster!

Had reunion dinner with Zack and his family..
first time meeting his aunt, uncles and cousins *nervous*
but it was good..
nice people.. was made welcomed by all :)

had a dream last night...
about diamonds...
woke up and pinched myself (or my ears)
NO! it wasnt only a dream! *beams*

celebrated our 7 mths annivesary yesterday
its been an awesome 7 mths
i really cant ask for more
am so so blessed :)

was as pampered as a princess *big grin*
zack picked me up from work..
cooked a wonderful dinner for me..
his signature dish.. pasta with crabstick, scallops and clam chowder
and i didnt even have to do the dishes!
then the big bang came..
my anniversary cum valentines' day present!

guess what it is?!?!?

DIAMOND EARRINGS!!!
it was beautiful..
i was speechless..
throat welled up..
eyes got damp..
heart felt like bursting..

my boy bought me diamonds..
no one has ever bought me diamonds..
my first ever diamond earrings.. sobs..

had a lovely saturday :)

met up at long last with my 2 favourite guys, though they drive me up the wall most of the time!

was running late for church so ben offered to pick me up (so sweet right.. ) when i was blowing my hair, he told me to just forget it cos my hair will be messed up anyway... ahhhhh, had an inking and i was like 'wat car are u driving this time?!?!' and 5 Feb 2005 marks the first time i sat in a BMW Convertible!!! Woohoooooo....! *big grin*

drove off with the top down but after like about 15mins, the top goes up.

why???
1) cos it was frigging HOT!
2) we were yelling to be heard over all that noise and wind

been a long while since we all went for service together but silly Ant wanted to stay home to bake bread (it turned out too salty, serves him right! :P) so that leaves with Ben and i.

service was good, Pastor Dom preached on Spiritual Baptism... (makes me ponder about my spirit man.. sigh..) was truly a 'reunion sat'.. saw Chevy! what are the odds that we will meet after just a couple of days ago, we were saying how we've not met up once since chatting a year ago.. saw Aaron too.. then when Ben and i were walking back to the car, guess who parked just behind us but Ian and Claire! wat a day! :)

then met up with Ant at Holland V... drove with the top down this time.. realy attention seeking.. basking in the glamour, even if its temporary.. we can always dream right :P
had this warm fuzzy feeling as we walked along holland v
dawned on me that we have known each other for more than a decade
played together, worshipped together, fought together (ben.. lol), laughed together
distance didnt 'distance' the friendship (pardon the pun)
we've all walked different paths but our friendships are still going strong :)

i thank God for them..
though they are so full of crap most of the time but i still love them to bits!

Zack came to pick me to meet Hui Ching and Andy for supper..
and guess what's for supper? TAO KEE!!!

Urgh! shldnt have eaten the earthquake! only had room for a fried mantou and a prawn paste chicken wing :( and only watched by as Zack devoured a plate of beef kway teow.. sobs..

Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have?"

Happy
Your eyes are really happy. you are spoiled, and have a wonderful family who cares for you and will get you anything you want. You are popular, and everyone loves either your style you or just how nice you are. The guys love you to death, and they kiss the ground you step on. While your friends ask you for any advice you can give.

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

August
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

i'm finally on cable! yay!! at long last...

the irony is.....
its not hooked up to my pc :(

hello.com is not working so cant post any pics for now :(
tsk tsk
i need to fix my pc
i need loadsa dough
for the first time in ages, my pc is sitting there like a white elephant

sigh

read this article on ching's blog, was taken from Straits Times 31 Jan 05. Quite a fair bit of discussions on this article i must say

so folks, read on...

When Mr Right comes at the wrong time
Timing is everything, even in love. And when you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it

"SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.
Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.

'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.

But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.
And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.
We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.
He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.
I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.
I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.

Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.

But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.

My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.

He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.

I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.

In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.

Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.

And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.
So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?

In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.

The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.

I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.

He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.

The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.

I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.

I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.

Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.
But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.

The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.

If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.

These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.

Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.

But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.

Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this topic came up when i was lunching with my colleague yesterday.. about relationships and all.. not marrying the person u love most but having to settle for someone who is 'suitable' at that time. Pointed that in some cases, one might actually end up marrying someone he/she does not love wholeheartedly.. then the questions came.

"How do you quantify love?"
"Why are u even in the relationship when u are not giving your all?"
"Do people marry because they are ready? or because the Right One came along? or both goes hand in hand?"
"Did that Someone ready you for marriage? or its just your biological clock ticking?"


told this to someone, "life is all about hits and misses... if i miss, i miss"
but i do so agree that timing can be everything

i've no doubts on where i stand in this matter
a friend of mine once told me, "God takes away the good and gives you the best"


it hit me
then I see the Light
*smile*

chevy just pointed out that this time last year was when we first started chatting on msn...
and we've not met up once!
jeez, 1 year flew by just like that
*shudders*


ahhhhhhh....
craving for kuah bangkit has not ebbed...

just when we are on the verge of giving up our search for the wallets we got our eye on...
WE FOUND IT!!!
combed almost all the Wallet Shops in spore..
placed our names on waiting lists..
then we found them (both of them!) lying unassumingly on the shelf at the Renoma section in Seiyu! *big grin*

bye Gucci... u'll be missed..
i'm such a sentimental dope..

pensive..

another week awaits..
think i'll start my payroll tomorrow coz planning to go on leave..
another bout then another bout..

nice relaxing weekend with my dear..
movies, sleeping, lazing around, reading, home-cooked meals (tom yum soup with steamed sea bass.. yummy, melted cheese/sausage bun.. lovely)
was nice.. really nice :)

caught Hotel Rwanda last night at J8
a film all should watch
not for special effects or superb cast
but for the knowledge of wat goes on in this world of ours
deeply saddened and disturbed
amazing how nonchalent this world can be
oblivious to the plight of people they value as 'dirt, filth' lesser beings
why? becoz they are black? poor?

passed a stray dog lying in the middle of the road on our way home
got me worried for awhile
people would prob pass him off as a mongrel
worthless..
why? becoz he is a stray? becoz he is not a purebreed?
is a purebreed's life worth more than that of a mongrel?
no its not.. its not

awright, enough of this!
just some food for thought..

my head is throbbing
my head is bursting

i need to destress

can someone tell me a joke please... pretty please...

why does one yearn for more loving when one is sick?


*searching for that whiff of comfort*

pappe on my lap right now...
licking... as usual...
holding her close to my heart..
shedding a tear or two..
nothing must happen to her..
she's my life..
been through thick and thin with me..
always the constant in my life..
my baby..

who can comprehend the pain i feel..
the tears i shed..

"Lord, please keep pappe healthy and safe... "

*sniff sniff*

urgh! down with all the works again! sheesh!
wats wrong with me??!!!
hit me hard and fast this time (again)
feels like i'm carrying a ton of bricks on my back..
runny nose is irritating the heck outta me..
feels hot one minute and cold the next..
temp is a high of 38.2
looks like crap
feelsl like crap
tsk tsk..

brought pappe for a blood test for her teeth scaling (anesthesia)
results aint good..
high white blood cells count and some liver probs
she's on antibiotic now and going back for a review in 2 weeks time
hope all turns out well..
love her so much... my baby..

worry so much for zack too
occupational hazards is coming in full force now
sigh..

sometimes, loving so much aint all that good
but sometimes, you just cant help it..

need hugs and kisses...
need sleep...


....feeling woozy
....going to bed now
....night folks

baby... give me back my fantasy...

there's a pen/pencil thief in my office!
everytime i'm on leave, i'll always find my pens/pencils gone! *growls*
dun let me catch u buster! *fist*

another '12-hr shift' *headache*
time to start reevaluating my career options..
losing that joy in what i'm doing..

oh! caught Alfie last night.. Heard that it wasnt that great but i beg to differ.. tot it was pretty good. Not your blow-yr-mind-out kinda movie but a sweet, thought-provoking flick.. got me thinking about relationships, committments and stuff.. pretty reflective.. and not mentioning how hot Jude Law is! (yes, better than Brad Pitt & thats saying alot! ) oh man.. that's one hunk and a half! (disclaimer: i may drool & swoon but my zack is still my no.1! better put this down if not i wudnt get any free rides!) he has the most charming smile and captivating green eyes.. just love green eyes.. and i simply cant resist a million-dollar smile! (psst.. that's how i got 'cheated' by someone :P) and i noe zack cant take his eyes off his Vespa..! and no dear, u are not getting another bike...
hmm... maybe i'll name my son Alfie.... *grin*

Some wise rules to live by..
1) find someone to love..
2) live everyday like its the last..


going through a couple of transitions
in all aspects of my life
is this wat ppl call the mid-quarter life crisis?
next stage of a relationship?
feeling stified.. frustrated.. edgy and its manifasting in various areas
having BFs... urgh!
'i'm sorry dear and thank u for putting up with me.. love u so much for that *hugz*'


i just dont know what to do with myself...

back to work after almost a weeks break.. getting lazy.. back to reality now.. tsk tsk...


right... BANGKOK deets!

Surprisingly, didnt buy as many stuff as i tot i would... same prob with Hong Kong.. tsk tsk
funny isnt it? these are shopping paradises and shopping wasnt that much fun..
i bought more stuff in Chiangmai than in Bangkok!

but food was good!!! SPA was even better!!! had a honey seed body scrub & a honey massage... for only $40! awesome! skin is soft and smooth as a baby's *big grin*


places went were...
Chinatown
had supper at Chinatown on our first night at Bangkok! ordered a loadful of food! too bad didnt get to eat any sharks fin and bird nests..

Mah Boon Kroong
shopping.. had lunch at this restaurant.. phad thai was slightly different from usual, noodles were wrapped in omelette! nice nice..

Central World Plaza
huge on the outside but small on the inside.. boasts an ice-skating ring, cinema, bowling alley.. but shops are medicore only..

Caberat (Ah Gua Show)
its seriously hard to believe that every single performer on stage are guys! Some look sooo sweet! and Andy got acousted by this Ah Gua.. & right in front of Ching! Ching was fuming there! hahaha! come to think of it, it was damn funny... she's actually quite sweet, bought him a tub of prawn crackers.. and i get to eat it! hahaha! Those Ah guas came out at the end of the show to take pics.. 100 baht for 1 pic! Zack and Andy were 'forced' to touch their fake boobs.. said it felt very rubbery! icksss....! genuine stuff is always the best! ;P

pics up soon... u guys will salivate!

Divana Spa
It is THE BEST! thanks to Martin and David for the recommendations... u guys sure know how to enjoy life! :P

Zanoittl
Italian Restaurant... Foie gras that melts in your mouth! seriously! Zack ordered this realy interesting dish.. seafood risotto in squid ink.. it was just a blob of black stuff with 2 leaves in the middle.. but it taste surprisingly good!

etc etc etc..

jeez, i'm tired of recollecting what we did... so i'll stop here..
but its all good... pics up soon (hopefully) coz my pc is screwing up on me again and i think this time is for real.. *dollars flying*

glad for this break.. 5 full days with my boy :)

i'm back!! anyone miss me?? now now, i noe u guys do... hehehe ;P

have u guys seen a dog that's high!?!

my pappe is high from kahlua!!! LOL!
mixed some kahlua with milk and gave her some..
and she likes it!
so gave her more coz felt bad about leaving her for 4 days

AND SHE GOT HIGH!

symptoms:
- lay smack on floor
- body crunched low on the floor as she walks
- ears down
- tail down
- walk zigzag (no kidding!)

she looks so cute! love her sooo much..
missed her badly while i was in Bangkok..
more so after seeing those pups at Jatujak Market
it broke something in me..

was excited about seeing the pups..
but when i saw how those little sweeties were treated..
i just lost it..

saw this little pup (not even a mth old) at a pen. Her fur wasnt even fluffy. She was having difficulty in walking & i tot her leg was injured. I took a closer look and saw that she was shivering but no one cared...
i picked her up and found that she was wet! held her close to my chest.. her shivering subsided alittle after awhile.. prob from my warmth and heartbeat.. I couldnt stay quiet, so i told the gal tending to the pens that the pup was cold & shivering. She didnt do a thing and just nod her head! wanted to shake her and ask her to do something.
I placed the pup back into the pen after sometime.. it tore me.. it realy did.. to see her all shivering again.. wobbling ard the pen.. looking for milk? my throat welled up with tears..

totally lost my taste in everything from then on.. was so disgusted by this whole pets sale thing at Jatuchak.. i couldnt look any further.. as i walked past those stalls holding cages of pups.. it wasnt 'how cute that pup is!' anymore.. i saw everything in a whole new light.. i just couldnt look any further.. just couldnt..

dun wanna have anything to do with that place anymore.. heard stories about it but when u see it yourself, the truth slapped right at u.. it hit.. and hurts badly..

i dun want a squirrel anymore..


think i'll stop here
more deets tomorrow
when i'm in a better frame of mind
getting emo now

night folks..

nope! a lab / retriever (brown) pup is not allowed on my shopping list!

My squirrel takes precedence ;P


on a short short blogging break
tons of work to do before i leave
leaving to catch my plane in 4hrs and MY PAYROLL IS NOT DONE! *panic*
cindy (hr boss) had meeting the entire morning and meeting will continue after lunch!

cant seem to feel the excitement of my long-awaited trip
too stressed about work
sigh


back to work on my spending account now.. a race against time..

right... flying off tomorrow...
and gotta shopping list oredi.. hahaha!

1. 4-5 fresh mangoes (david, u are only getting the dried ones!)
2. lingerie for Theresa
3. purse for Aunty Tan
4. bracelets / earrings for Serene

and more still deciding wat they want... dateline is tomorrow 4.30pm peeps! hurry place yr orders!

loadsa (food) recommendations from my colleagues.. here goes it:

- Zanotti @ Saladaeng Rd (Italian Restaurant) has the best Foi Gras (ant, i will surely think of u when i'm savouring the mouth-watering foi gras! dun drool! muahahaha!)
- Enjoy a wonderous spa experience @ Divana Massage & Spa @ Sukhumvit (zack will surely love this! :) ) Body Scrub! Body Scrub!
- Binge on a wide array of seafood at Seafood Market & Restaurant - Sukhumvit... u get to pick your crabs, lobster etc from tanks and get the chef to cook it anyway u like!
- Senses at the new shopping mall (Gay-something?) has excellent desserts..
- Chinatown has cheap and good Sharksfins.. a claypotful only $12.50!
- Foodcourt at Mah Boon Kroong has the best fruit juice! Concentrated Mango juice! awwww...
- Banana Leaf (eatery) at this shopping mall at Silom Street has mouth-watering Sombom (spelling?) crabs akin to chilli crabs (another of zack's favourite)
- Airport Terminal 2 sells Mango Sticky Rice! (that i love!!)

sounds good? ;P

**hope to find nice navel jewellery :)

I WANNA BUY A SQUIRREL!!!

its 7.45pm..
been in the office for 12 hours..
working on my spp spreadsheet..
excel 'encountered a problem and needs to shut down'..
i didnt save my work..
my past 30 mins of work is gone..

gimme a shoulder... *cries*

nope


... psyched it off

... shrugged it off


bad tots, dun come back!

slept it off...... ?

slept for a record of 14 hrs!
woke up @ 3pm, had my 'breakfast' of beehoon+egg+prawn paste chicken :)
did some reading.. then dozed off again!
woke up again at 7.30pm! tsk tsk...
i'm sucha pig....
but sleep is always gooooood ;)

yiming is now at WA...
crashing at rayner's..
i wonder go too!!!!
clear waters... clean sandy beaches...
tanning... shopping @ sussan (sleepwear!)...
and all those 'hanging' stuff like spiral windchimes etc..
had plans to go over this summer for some surfing...
somehow that didnt materialise...

kiteboarding in bintan in feb?? something to look forward to!

oh! did i mention i'm going to BANGKOK next week!!!
WOOHOOOOOO.....!!!!!!!!!!!
shopping, shopping and more shopping!
massages... body scrubs (think baby smooth skin!)... milk baths...
awesome thai food.... mango sticky rice... phadthai!
and then more shopping again!

now now, dun be envious peeps... i'll think of u when i'm having one of those awesome thai massages! muahahahaha!

3rd holiday in 6 mths! average of a holiday every 2 mths.. no wonder i'm so broke! but i'm happy! :D


current song: No Me Ames - JLo & Marc Anthony (salsa version)
feel like doing some salsa @ Union Square

Paradox of our time...

:: We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints

:: We spend more, but have less

:: We buy more, but enjoy less

:: We have bigger houses and smaller families

:: We have more conveniences, but less time

:: We have more degrees but less sense

:: We have more knowledge, but less judgment

:: We have more experts, yet more problems

:: We have more medicine, but less wellness

:: We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom

:: We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values

:: We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often

:: We've learned how to make a living, but not a life

:: We've added years to life not life to years

:: We conquered outer space but not inner space

:: We've done larger things, but not better things

:: We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul

:: We write more, but learn less

:: We plan more, but accomplish less

:: We've learned to rush, but not to wait

:: We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we communicate less and less

:: These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships

:: These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes

:: These are ways of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill

:: It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom


so folks, wat say u?

i've got questions..

but why ask..
when i already know the answers


silly gal, silly gal


lovefool... out

To my zack:

thanks for being there for me these past 6 months. You brought me so much happiness, happiness i never thought i could find again. Looking back, its funny how 'zack & ju' came about :) Our paths crossed 6 years ago and after many twinnings and turns, we meet again 6 years later. That day is still so vivid.. it seems like there's no turning back from that day forth :)

It didnt seem much then but u were there for me when i needed someone at my lowest point.. 5 years ago.. you were there for me as a friend.. your concern and support, i held close to my heart. I would love to say He meant for these.. all of it :)

Now here we are.. holding hands all the way :)

At the Beginning

We were strangers

Starting out on a journey

Never dreaming what we'd have to go through

Now here we are

And I'm suddenly standing

At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you

Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope

You were there to remind me

This is the start

We were strangers

On a crazy adventure

Never dreaming how our dreams could come true

Now here we stand

Unafraid of the future

At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere

Like me alone in the dark

Now I know my dream will live on

I've been waiting so long

Nothing's going to tear us apart

And life is a road, and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep going on

Starting out on a journey

Life is a road and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep flowing

In the end I want to be standing at the beginning

With you

1 January 2005...

Beginning of another new year...
ushered in the new year in a semi conscious state..
yes, i was asleep!
managed to drag myself up @ midnight to call zack
decided on a quiet new years' eve
no parties, no crowd
just me and pappe :)
while someone is out saving lives ;P

Blessed New Year Dear! Love you tons! :)

woke up at 3am and cant get back to sleep
so here i am, @ 6am typing this *hungry*

wanna see my new year pressie?!?!


my first pair of Levi's!
ok ok, not exactly my first pair but the first that actually fits me :)

- its a 593
- super low rise
- only 2 buttons! (conveniant when u need the loo badly ;P)
- tight bootcut

bought it at a 25% discount! but the price after less it still double of that of the jeans i could have bought at Far East.. but its levi's! its quality baby *wink* dear bought it for me as a new year's gift *beams* thanks darling.. i love it loads! but u shldnt have.. its ex.. but i still love it! hehe *muaks!*

feel that i shld pen something for the new year..
but somehow..
cant think of anything i wanna say..
just glad that 2004 had been a learning experience for me..
just wondering wat 2005 has in store for me..
have a feeling its gonna be another eventful year..
new happenings
new beginnings :)

ride of my life? its up to Him :)

goodbye Frittonia... you will be missed...

Serene bought me this plant for my bday.. name's Frittonia.. i cared for it.. i really did...


but 4 months later.....

it died.... :(

jeez, on holiday mood now.. dun feel like working..
another 4 hours of work then i'm done for the week..
not that i've been at work much this week.. hehehe..
but everyday at work is truly madness.. sigh..
going to have a talk with Theresa & Cindy about my workload..
imagine 'serving' 3 bosses! plus our High and mighty Mr Roger Wilkinson!
met Seok Ching on the way home today and she asked me who do i manage it at all..
told her i'm dying here..
and i look like crap *sobs*
its madness..

but its awright! managed to recharge some energy lost!
2 days of bumming... :)

Tuesday - Slept til 2pm! Wicked! Bum ard in the afternoon then had Ichiban Sushi for dinner at PS.. much better than Sakae.. variety of sushi is more interesting.. Highly recommended!
Caught 'National Treasure'. It was ok.. just another movie flick.. the treasure hunt was pretty entertaining but the ending was kinda disappointing..

Wednesday - Went to the bank :) wasnt done til about 4 plus, rushed home to grab pappe and packed a basket then off we go for our PICNIC @ EAST COAST!

Pappe had her 2nd dunk! was so cute watching her swim, legs were in swimming mode (imagine crab!) before we even dropped her into the sea.. she had so much fun racing ard the beach and much to my chagrin, wriggling in the sand.. didnt charge my batt and only managed to take 4 shots before it died on us! Bummer!


Sky looks kinda gloomy.. dirty sand.. miss Krabi sooooo much... :(


SMILE!

The thought of all that cleaning up when we reach home puts me off.. zack bathed pappe while i clean & tidy the house.. After 45 mins of cleaning.. i realised that both of them are clean, fed and comfortably sitting on the sofa watching soccer while i'm still sticky & hungry and mopping the floor! sigh sigh... suffering ju.. sigh... sob sob...

End of my break! Needed that sooooo much :)

back from 2 days of leave..
was a chore getting outta bed this morning..
had a lovely relaxing 2 days :)
blog bout it later...
meanwhile, clearing as much of my work coz i'm leaving office soon!

idea came about when i was getting ready for work..
taking the afternoon off today..
to surprise someone! ;P

people are always asking me.. "what do u want for Christmas?"
i crack my head and think.. but i just cant come up with an answer..

now i finally know..
I want a gift that comes from the heart..

Boxing Day today! not many presents to box anyway... but i'm thankful for each and every one of them :)

went to wala to celebrate christmas eve...
EIC wasnt playing that night *bummer*
The Unexpected was.. wasnt too psyched about the lead singer..
dun ask me why.. prob coz of her attitude.. loadsa it!
one more self realisation that night..
I am a moody / broody drunk..
or maybe its just an amplification of wats inside..

dun generally dislike anyone..
but there's this someone i dun have good vibes about..
wonder why..

spent Christmas at Zack's church.. small and cosy..
really nice to attend a small church..
where everyone knows everyone..
folks there are real friendly and not pushy..
wonder how is Trinity's christmas service like this year..
first time in years i didnt spend my christmas at Trinity.. missed it

then we are off to Kevin & Charmaine's church wedding..
gosh, this is by far the most romantic wedding i've attended..
i teared!! & i dun even know them personally!
(some background info: Kevin was the drummer in Zack's band)
Kevin sang this song to Charmaine and he teared..
gosh.. i teared too...
then there was this part where the wedding couple thanked their parents..
more tears..
and i was thinking i am never ever going to be able to do that..
it stabbed me..
i teared..
everything was just so beautiful..
i was turning into a fountain..

was an emotional wreck yesterday..

know wats one of the worst feeling one can feel?
having to smile when u feel like your heart has just been stabbed..
having to talk and laugh when all u wanna do is hide in a corner and weep..
no one sees wats inside..
coz i conceal it well..

maybe it lies with me
coz i cant see my worth
i try and i try and i try
to win that love
to prove that i am worthwhile
maybe i dun even have to
maybe i just dunno any other way
was so sure of myself
but i'm wavering now

spending the sun afternoon alone with my thoughts..
too many to keep me occupied..
had some words of caution from my dear friend..
thanks pal, appreciate your concern..
i hear u, i do..
headache brewing
hope i snap outta it soon..

my last day of the week! yippeeee....
really needed this break badly..
been working like a horse.. *groans*
need to go for stress management..
then plan my early retirement.. hahaha..

life's pretty back to normal..
with zack all done with his training & back to his shift..
no more 5 days of absence :)
terribly onerous..

things happening.. many things..
things i dun wanna think about..
life's like a whirlpool..

year end approaching..
most eventful year of my life i would say..
my happiest moments..
my saddest moments..
all stacked up within these 12 months..
cried the most..
laughed the loudest..

but i've grown the most..

wat made my morning sweeter?

when someone plops outta bed and said...
"i'll prepare breakfast for u.."

cant remember the last time someone prepared breakfast for me..
had my breakfast prepared for me this morning..
by my sweetheart.. *big smile*
turkey breast with melted cheese sandwich..
awesome.. :)

left home with a warmth in my heart..
a skip in my step..

funny how little things seem to matter more..

Burnt out

finally settled down after a long day... or week for that matter...
totally burnt out...
intended to blog about Roger's farewell dinner (tonight) but am just too tired...
its been hell of a week (excuse my language)...
my eyerings are seriously dark..
havent been zzzzzzz much..
too much work to do at work..
all that bad stress..
lost some weight..
exhausted..

felt this sudden surge of emotion..
akin to loneliness..
never felt this way for a long while..

need hugs..

sweetheart, sorry i couldnt talk long with u just now..
didnt even get to bid u sweet dreams..
wish i had made your day a little better for u..
sorry if i didnt..
just want u to know that as i go about my daily chores..
u're always on my mind.... always....


*crawling to bed...*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANDSOME!!!

Its your special day today sweet! though u are stuck at some ulu isle, do hope u haf a good time :) hang in there, it'll be over in 2 days time! cant wait for sunday to come! we'll go do something special when u come back ya.. *hugz*

love u tons! *loadsa hugz & kisses!*



bought something today but i'm not telling..
i surprise myself sometimes..

my morning just got brighter!

just received a call from zack! *big silly grin*

but the bad news is that this is his last call until fri or sat..
coz they will be going outfield..
at some ulu island..
take very good care & be careful k..
i wanna see my boy safe & sound without a scratch on sun *hugz*

5 more days..

worry not sweet, i'll be good!
(i've always been good, wat am i talking about?!)
no galivanting while u're away ;P

miss u sooo much....

My prayer..

Dear Lord,

Place your hand of protection over zack as he go about his daily activities at OBS. Grant him courage in the face of challenges, strength for back-breaking work, comfort when he is alone.

Above all, keep him safe and sound... and bring him safely back to me..


In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

weekend flew by just like that..
sunday seems eons away..

on a lil island north east..
so near yet so far..

lousy today..
monday blues?
or something more..

why am i doing so much..
i've got nothing to prove..

nothing to my name..
nothing accomplished..
just an entity..
surviving..
alone..
in this huge void..

i'm tired..
... in every sense


leave me be..
i beseech..
just leave me be

terribly crazy day..
been working non-stop since the minute i stepped in office..
bone-tired..
yes, probably guessed it right..
payroll time..
huge load off when i passed the 3 envelopes to my dispatch..

Christmas should NEVER be spelt as Xmas!
how can there be no Christ in Christmas?

Christmas is coming!
baking mince pies & eggnog! :)




tired..... *stoning*

ahhh.... i'm sore all over *groans*
calves, thighs, butt, arms, abs
had a full body workout yesterday
gym during lunch, tennis after work
gosh, i'm asking for it!
but i feel so 'worked out'... ahhhhh......

tennis session was really good!
tried my hand at tennis for the first time & i lurve it!
played with David, Vikram & Eugene at civil service club from 7 - 9pm..
went with 12 balls and left with none.. lol!
for the record, i only hit 2 balls outta the court.. heheh
need to work on my serve and backhand
said to be pretty good for a beginner! :P

WHO WANNA PLAY TENNIS???!!!
going to queensway after the 15th to buy my Head racket!
& someone is going to kill me if i wear a tennis skirt.. hehe

been so tired the past few days..
will be for the entire week for that matter

my week..
mon: went town shopping then running at night
tue: tennis
wed: Roger's christmas dinner
thur: dinner with Ben & Ant
fri: ZACK BOOKS OUT!
sat: tanning @ sentosa (if i can wake up....)

home late every night..
neglected my pappe... *sorry sweetheart*
really conked out when i get home
wanted to bathe pappe last night but was just so tired to do much
only managed to feed her, had a shower, clean the house a lil..
then talk to my boy :)

i miss u...

DA ALBUM...

Awright peeps,

posting the pics i had been promising..
all at one go... in this album!

Enjoy! ;)

(having prob with Hello, so pics up slowly.. watch this space!)


zack's new toy... presenting Ah peh zack!

byeee decks....


da lil imps...

Banana walnut cake! baked by zack with a special ingredient called 'L' :)

pasta with scallops & crabstick.. my health food when i was down with food poisoning... cooked by my sweetie.. watta lovely thing to wake up to when u are feeling awful :) got sudden craving for it... *hint hint*

--------------------------------------------------

Presenting..... CROWN OF THORNS!!!


Last gig...

Andy, Chris, Zack, Fugene & Kelvin.. u guys are smashing! Keep the fire burning dudes!

watched Singapore Idol?
too hyped up i say..
guest of honour is President SR Nathan??
gimme a break please..
kinda disappointed with the contestants / finalists..
perhaps my expectations are a tad too high..
more so after watching American Idol..

and the judges sux..
why do we need judges who are practically reading off a script..
when their comments are structured for viewer's entertainment..

taufik vs sly?
Singapore Idol?
its just showbiz peeps, just showbiz..

o well.. shrug :)

reaching office very early this week..
coz i've gotta personal chauffeur! hehehe..
zack's on office hours this week..
so we get to come to work together..
only bummer is that he starts work at 8am..
that means i gotta wake up 45mins earlier..
but i dun mind one bit!
thanks sweet for the rides... muacks! :)

i'm so so sleeeepy now..
how can i last til 5.30pm..

things i must do when i get home:
- sweep / mop the floor
- laundry
- pack my room
- install my office
- bring pappe for a walk (think she is bored crazy & she is driving me crazy!)

things i must NOT do when i get home:
- get anywhere near my bed before my chores are done

*yawns*

holiday bug itching.. BANGKOK IN JAN!!! who wants to join me?!!!!

Planet Fitness

question now is....

Should i sign up for Planet Fitness?!?!

only $600 for a years' membership..
loadsa classes available..
pilates.. body combat.. street jazz (thing that caught my eye!) etc..
studio next to my office..
got kakis to go with..
can workout during lunch or after work!

going for a 1 week trial next week..
hmm... wat do u guys think?
anyone wanna join me?? ;P

jeez, feeling stiff... need to stretch those muscles..

*excited*

... wala closed for reno
... eyes are hurting
... wasted the entire day
... need motivation

... wats wrong?

I'm back!

worst is not over! but the pressure is off :) Company Christmas lunch is round the corner and somehow i gotta the feeling that I will be in charge of food (again).. why do i always end up with the task of feeding people? *ponders*

Some messages for my dear friends... sorry, too lazy to sms ;P

Siying: sorry for miaing & the unreplied emails.. i'm fine.. thanks for your sweet sms :) back now! we can continue our daily emails marathon! & dun be shy to tag me k... u uh... hugz!

Ant: when my hp beeps in the afternoon, i noe its u & the msg will read, "oi, come online leh" busy lah, my father doesnt own the company k (unlike some people) :P ok, will come online more often & we can talk about your christmas dinner! CHOCO / RUM CHESTNUT CAKE!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lurrrvve this week... why??
coz zack is working office hours!
going to work together (though i'll be half hr early but i dun mind!)
picking me up after work, going for dinner then heading for home..
just for 5 days..
but its awright..
simple joys in life... :)

I WANNA PLAY TENNIS! Anyone game??!! need to buy tennis racket.. this mth cant coz i'll be totally broke... haiiiizzz..... i cant swim (navel ring), raining these days so cant realy run... then how?? how to lose 2 blardeeeee kg!! not greedy, just 2 then i'll be a happy woman!

from a convert: I love my sony ericsson! dunno why, just haf to say it

MY D&D RAWKS BIG TIME!!! TEMPTATION ISLAND! ignite your senses*

gosh! had a smashing time! everything was great, place was great, food was good.. weather was lovely.. entertainment wicked! though some hiccups along the way, but all turned out well... *big smile*
everyone enjoyed themselves, had some positive comments.. only thing they were bitching about was that there was only 1 lucky draw! hahaha!

boogie night was awesome too... heard that this was one of the few boogie nights (from past d&ds) that the dance floor was packed..
busy running ard the entire night but managed to spare some time to shake my booty on the dance floor.. hehehe! only bummer was that there wasnt any disco lights (how can i leave that out! *slaps forehead*) but music was greeeaaaat.. at least the DJ wasnt playing 70s music (last year d&d!) he played mainly top 40s which was good.. got pretty hot and steamy prob coz of the theme & everyone was feeling liberated.. with all those skin showing & wine flowing in the blood.. hahaha! (but i've been a good gal k, always have been :P)

all in all, it was really good.. glad its all over *phew* left at about 10.45pm & the DJ just gotta play The Reason and This Love just when i'm leaving.. urgh!

pumped up with adrenalin *jumps! big smile*

Reached home at 11.30pm (managed to hitch a hike from my colleague) and zack picked me up and we had supper at The Roti Prata House!! Yummy! Our last 'outing' on his scrambler *sobs*

lights out: 5.30am

Imagine waking up at 10.30am on a Sat morning *groans* went to dirt wheel for his bike ownership transfer then to Lee Motor to collect his Phantom.. spent close to 2 hours at the workshop getting the number plate fixed *snores*
managed to catch an hr of sleep when we got home before we went off to meet Andy & Huiqing at TM for dinner..
was running on reserve energy the entire day..
and by the time we finished our dinner, i was already zombified..
played pool and couldnt managed to work out any energy to play more than 1 game..
using up the last bit of reserve energy..
was so tired that i dozed off on the ride home..
gosh! did that twice in 2 days.. dangerous dangerous..
totally washed out when we got home..
fell face flat on the bed the minute i got home & i mean the MINUTE..

Slept for a total of 13.5 hours! ahhhhh.....
got woken up by that stupid Ant *grrrr* could have slept longer!
but that 13.5 hours of sleep did wonders..
replenished all the lost sleep and fatigue from the last week..
jumped right outta bed!
ju with loadsa sleep is a happy gal! :)

wanted to go changi nasi lemak but was downpouring the entire afternoon..
so spent our afternoon doing household chores..
oh! correction.. me doing household chores while someone lay right smack infront of the TV! *poor me.. sobs*

wanna see zack's new toy?! watch this space! :P

pics pics!

D&D is tomorrow! i'm going crazy... emails after another.. spending most of my time righting things out.. going through it over and over, right down to the minute details.. i'm losing it!!

YOU CANT SCREW THIS UP JU! you just cant...

gotta high inner locus of control.. wats yours?

--------------------------------------------------------
someone is coming back tomorrow! and that someone is going to get it good and proper from me! *humph*

know what i wish to do? pack my bag and head for narnia...

Zack had an accident.. a minor accident but an accident is an accident! got 6 stitches on his right pinkie.. right hand is full of abrasions and is a little swollen and 2 deep lacerations into his pinkie.. was torn between weeping & yelling at him when i saw him at the hospital.. sigh.. scared the living daylights outta me when i received his call.. .. my worst fear had come through.. not even 6 mths into his license... when are you going to stop riding dear? deep sigh...

somehow, the people u love most makes u worry the most.. guess it goes hand in hand with loving so much...

anyone know how to boil fish soup?? please advise! Stuffing zack with fish now.. NO MUTTON CHOP! heheee.... and dun u go eating behind my back! :P

went to punggol plaza fresh market to buy some groceries.. impressed with what they have there.. there's even a store selling fishes, i mean live pet fishes! how apt uh *wink* & a store that has those biscuits in tins & u buy them by grams.. oh, how i dig those! :P things there are much cheaper than supermarts.. but gotta be careful not to get fleece.. which i did! then again, maybe not... o well, gotta learn to be a smarter market shopper.. urgh, arms aching now.. bought almost 70 bucks worth of groceries & toiletries.. woes of living on yr own.. but i lurvvveee it.. the independence... :)

sleeepy... *yawns*

slacking the day away..
something's not right but i dunno wat..
getting edgy..
getting sick..
sick of being nice..
giving, giving and giving..
sometimes at my expense..

i'm getting tired..
coz i'm just so sick right now..

fear? of rejection?
that i'm not enough, if i'm me?
i dunno.. i really dunno..
perhaps i do.. perhaps..

fearful of grabbing wats mine..
my needs have been blurred..
perhaps i'm just not enough..
just not enough..

so wats wrong?
pray tell..
heighten my senses..
so i may speak..

so please.. keep out

"i just want you to know who i am.."

i got a nice pretty present today... a candle holder with pretty twinkling crystals surounding it.. it's so pretty... cant wait to light it up *smile* thanks darling.. *hugz* :)

went for dinner at Jack's place with Zack's family... celebrated Irene's (Zack's future sis-in-law) bday.. nice... been awhile since i sat in a family gathering.. that warm fuzzy feeling came back watching the engagement.. missed it..

oh! zack gotta new bike! its a Phantom this time.. a cruiser.. my knowledge of bikes just grew a couple of notches.. hehehe.. number plate is FV2398C... ok, anyone buy 4D can split the earnings with me *wink* though his scrambler gave tons of probs, guess i will still miss it..

right, better get my ass off to bed now *yawns* night peeps...

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!

Shutter

watched 'Shutter' late night... boy, was it good! really the scariest horror flick i've seen by far! Horror scene after another.. no break at all... the plot was good, lead actor was a hunk and a half! looks like pierre png.. realised Thai people has really nice eyes..

really kept me at the edge of my seat the entire time and my face against zack's chest... freaking horrid scenes and the ending was goooood... stuck in my head long after we depart from the cinema.. eeerrrriiiieeeee.....

Shutter - High Recommended (5 stars*)

off to TM soon! ;) ahhh.... smelling the aroma of the taiwanese sausages zack is heating in the toaster... makan time, zack's calling!

*yawns* knocking off soon... tired... busy day... then again, which day isnt?

Dinner and Dance in a weeks' time... cant wait! but so many details to look into...
pressure is building up but adrenalin is pumping..
been spending most afternoons having meetings..
but its good.. everyone is getting pumped up with excitement..

last year, was worrying over wat to wear..
this year, worrying over the lights, reception, transport etc..
really exciting planning this..
wish i'm doing it full time *ponders*

going home! meeting my boy! :)

Severe Withdrawal Symptons

into my 2nd day of fruit fast.. detoxify my system!!! but i'm, i'm...... ahhhhh!!!! having severe withdrawal symptons!!!

things that are always on my mind (other than my zack k)
- marche ham & cheese crepe (had that on tue *drools*)
- fried mantou and char siew
- thomson roti prata
- fried beehoon with prawn paste chicken (zack bought from me from peninsula *awesome*)
- char siew pau (my longest ever craving)

serene pulled out from the fruit fast last night.. she couldnt take it and had dinner... lol!

guess wat?? SOMEONE IN MY OFFICE BOUGHT ROTI BOY!!! *grrrrrrrrr* the aromatic scent is driving my crazy....

i wanna eat FOOD.....

back to work tomorrow.. sigh.. 4 more days to the weekend.. counting down..

Had pixie for the weekend..simon brought her over on fri.. miss her sweet sweet face :) but this gal drives me up the wall! was wearing out the towel cleaning her pee & she pees soooooo much! then i see her face, my heart melts... and i feel bad about scolding her so profusely.. that gal got my number.. that gal..

Fri
we just bummed the night away.. pizza and vcds! yum yum! watched 'That Thing You Do'... but only managed to end the first disc..

Sat
BOUGHT MY K700i!! woooohoooooo......! at $500! for the handset alone.. cheap ya ;) love my new hp! my current bedtime book is the manuel book *grin*

Zack & i then met up with Andy & Huiqing for steamboat at Marina South. Gosh, i love their fried mantou & char siew! love to go there again sometime soon.. cant believe that was the first time i had steamboat at marina south.. where have i been all these while?!?!

went bowling then supper at lau par sat.. was already close to 3am by the time we reached home.. was a nice night.. finished the second disc of 'That Thing You Do' but i drifted off when we werent even half way thru :P

Sun
watched 'SAW' last night at J8.. storyline aint that fantastic.. it was more gory than intriguing.. but theres a twist at the end.. however, the twist wasnt the kind that makes u go, 'oh yeah! why didnt i see that!'

day was ok.. good things happened, not so good things happened.. didnt know wat to do, was like walking on a minefield.. nothing i did seemed right.. emotions all jumbled up inside.. but i guess things got righted up.. it doesnt change anything, no it doesnt.. hopefully..

tot all i need to do is right one aspect of my life then everything will be good.. or will it? sometimes, i wonder if i screwed up somewhere.. somehow.. sometimes, i'm really at a lost..


feeling weepy.. emotional..
tired...

Happy Deepavali!

Hols! been looking forward to this break for a long time..
shld have taken leave tomorrow.. damn!
then again, cant coz its payroll period & banklist gotta go out tomorrow..
otherwise, no pay on the 21st (20th this mth)
responsibilities, responsibilities & more responsibilities..

spent the day with zack :)
bum ard the whole day..
went to punggol plaza for some grocery shopping..
dinner was nice.. home cooked meal!
we had bak kut teh (chicken), steamed sea bass (yum yum) & zack's fav lady's fingers
healthy healthy!
holding hands in prayer.. chats over dinner.. *soft sigh*

there's something heartwarming watching the one u love enjoy the food u prepared :)

Embattled US insurer Marsh and McLellan axes 3,000 jobs

Office was quiet this morning.. news that Marsh Mac would be axing 3000 staff came through...
then the good news came...
Singapore Office wouldnt be affected! :)

No one expected Marsh Inc. to be involved in a lawsuit (civil, not criminal, mind u).. shares plunged by half.. feel for those who just purchased a lotful...

but we'll pull through.. *pray*

its the time of the month again... payroll..
starting early this month coz of the holidays..
worked through lunch today..
hoping to get everything done up so dun have to work late..
why? coz my boy is booking out today! *smile*

D&D is round the corner.. 2.5 more weeks..
feeling the strain and pressure..
cos the overall in charge is yours truly.. sigh..
but was great fun working on it..
the decision making.. coordination..
seeing my mark on every little details..
was working with the event management staff..
went through the detailed flow of the night.. the deco..
working with fire torches, netting, flowers, helium balloons..
can envision watta spectacular night it will be..
hope can pull off a great one! :)

TEMPTATION ISLAND! ignite your senses..
nice tagline uh *wink*

damn! i found a scratch on my sovil et titus watch! urgh..... bday pressie from my boy :(

Comic Relief

this is really wacko.. comic relief! poem by siying
almost burst my gut laughing!

Leon is a China kid,
Met Jane on the Taipei street,
Boy offered a special treat,
Girl on diet, refused to eat,
Leon insisted, he won't quit
So Jane took salad while he ate meat.
Litttle black dress she must fit,
"...Can't be bothered with this chick!"
Leon mumbled as he feasted on steak
One tight slap flew across his cheek!
My! His face swelled like a pig's!
Blame it on his unsweet lips......

Writing poem just for kick
Think my brain is falling sick...
Trade report is incomplete,
Tonite i've to forgo sleep.
Deadline is the mid of week,
Spirit is willing, flesh is weak........ =(
*sigh*..............

The above is inspired by Ju's remarkable answer to my qn on Leon Lai's
nationality, ....Jane's bdae,......the feast we had on Sat,.....the diet
plans in mind,.....and last but DEFINITELY not least....the nagging feeling
that my work is still not finished.....=(

jeez, i really needed this..
nursing a headache..
when will this end?

AWESOME WEEKEND!

Never had a better weekend! Full deets!

1) ZACK BOOK OUT!
2) Had sooooo much fun @ our all-gals first slumber party/Housewarming/Jane's bday party! *big grin*

Met Zack at Funan @ 12.30pm for lunch! Only for an hour but it was great! Had BK for lunch.. my poor boy was so deprived of good food. When 1.40pm approaches, was so hard to part... ahhh.... but the good news was, he might be able to book out for the weekend!! was in anticiapation for the whole day until 5.11pm.. the sms came! He's booking out! we get to spend our anniversary together *beams*

Then it was shopping with Siying! Bought a loadful of things.. had a grocery shopping frenzy at cold storage taka, preparing for a fiesta! Jo was so sweet, came to pick us so we dun have to lug our stuff ard..

9.30pm: THE PARTY BEGINS!
Our Feast!
- pate & wine (though jane prefers peanut butter)
- salad
- sausages / chesse cocktails
- cup noodles (-_- been decided thats wat we will having for our next sleepover!)
- chips (forgot the nachos!)
- brownies with ice cream! (3 flavours of ice cream... awww...) - Jane's bday cake

Watched this Leslie Cheung show.. really screwed up show but our dear siying lurvess leslie cheung so we gotta endure 2 hours of watching how crappy twisted relationships develop, people with serious identity crisis, who dunno whether they are straight or not.. siying siying, the things we do for u :P

Zack came over at 12.30am :) Muah! poor boy was so tired.. tucked him to bed.. *hugs*

Then its HORROR FLICK Time! Rented 3 horror but we only managed to watch one.. Only Jo, Siying and i watched 'The Ghost'.. Yingyan and Jane (cowards! :P) went off to bed! Off all the lights & turn on game! Gosh, i think we scare ourselves more than the show did.. This korean horror click wasnt that scary but the dark room, 3 of us huddling together under the quilt adds to the excitement & of crse, not forgetting our screams (siying is the champ!) Her screams were definitely more scary!

4:00am: Off to bed!

7 November - Happy 4 Mths Darling!

8.30am: Rise and Shine!
Jane and Yingyan gotta go church so everyone woke up at 8.30am.. or rather i woke up at 8.30am & wake everyone up.. hehehe..

Hardest person to wake: JO!

More yakking over breakfast.. When 5 of us are together, there's just no peace & quiet :P

Hey dears, had a wonderful time with u guys.. it was really great fun and appreciate the bonding session.. we gotta do it again soon! in dec? when i plan my bbq.. cant wait! Love u guys loads! hugzzz....

Spent the rest of the day with zack :) 4 lovely mths.. didnt expect to be spending the day together coz zack was supposed to be in camp.. but heaven intervene! Time flies.. 4 mths.. step by step.. gonna be a long walk? hopefully... :)

LOVE? its beauty is that it be a gift... with no strings attached..

Highlight of Sat!

Guess wat?!

I'M MEETING ZACK TOMORROW! *big smile* for only an hour... *bummer* but its alright! anything is better than nothing :)

Roses need rain?
Poets need pain?
(oh.. it's supposed to rhyme uh! :P)

and ju needs zack...
miss u loads baby...

Its friday! its here at long last... a week has gone by.. albeit slowly
been a quiet week... home most of the nights..
was nice, spending time with my pappe :)

Aching all over, legs from my running.. arms from my swimming..
but feels healthy and happy! loadsa endorphins ;)
went swimming last night with siying & only managed to do 7 laps *bummer* instead of our targetted 10.. was 9pm & pool was about to close.. but it was good all the same! :P
love the smooth movement of slicing through the cool, smooth water.. the stretch of the muscles.. the quiet of underwater.. ahhhh...

my days all planned out...

TODAY!
Steamboat dinner with Rachel & Godma! been awhile since we meet up for dinner.. so looking forward to it.. the catching up :) Question now is 'where to have steamboat?'

SAT is de DAY!! GALS DAY OUT! Woohoooo......!
Retail therapy during the day with Siying and Jane.. gotta list of things to get..
- Dumbells (work those tri/biceps baby!)
- Googles
- Shoes from Heatwave (optional.. a lil broke now)
- Materials from spotlight (room deco!)
- Malliot (if i can find a nice one)

Places to check out:
- Forever 21 (never have the chance to really browse)
- Heeren (changing my navel ring!)
- Spotlight

We really gotta plan our shopping route coz Siying has a list too.. LOL!

Then its hanging out at ma little humble home... :)
Whole night of pigging out, vcds, bitching & more bitching..

Proposed: Sunday morning swim (jo, u better come uh! :P) , followed by Mac breakfast.. then it'll be back home for our beauty zzzzz... sounds good uh!

ps: hey gals, bring your running shoes if u wanna go running ya.. can do a few rounds after our pigging out :P

Sun - Pappe & Pixie day! Yes, Pixie is coming over! *beams*
Monday - Swimming with Rachel
Tue - Dinner with Vincent

Wed (10 Nov) - MY BOY COMES HOME! :)


..... but right now.. i just wanna sleep... *yawns*

just blowed another 28 bucks on medical fees.. sigh..
one little oyster costed me almost 60 bucks! had to see the doc again coz pain was still getting to me, all the wind & bloatedness.. cant even walk properly... hope it clears up soon.. btw, my dear ant, doc said NO MORE CHARCOAL PILLS! thats the cause of the bloatedness & constipation! so i'm not downing 8 charcoal pills at one go! *needs lactabacillus*

couldnt realy sleep last night..
we watched this old skool hongkong ghostbuster show on channel 8 last night.. it was so so lame & jokes were so so corny... boy, i just luuurvve zack's mandarin *wink* lol.. cant believe we finished the entire show.. ended at 2am.. tot it was a waste of time to sleep... but we all need our rest ya.. kept waking up during the night.. woke up at 6am.. alarm wasnt set to ring for another 30 mins..

only hit me hard this morning..
felt this pang when he left at 6.50am..
with his big black bag..
sigh.. hope time flies.. counting down..
jeez, this is bad.. getting too used
watch it ju.. watch it..

i lost my hp. i lost my hp. i lost my hp.
its sinking in. its sinking in. its sinking in.
still dun feel much..
why? prob coz wasnt that psyched over the hp to begin with..
events surrounding its purchase.. it costed me dearly.. that hp..

becoming friends? that would be nice..
never meant to hurt anyone..
sorry if i did.. really am..

do u know there's lard in pohpiahs?!?