I feel LOVED...

...when You keep the light on for me. Especially when you sleep better with it off :)

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Home sweet home!

We are back!
Touched down at 8:15pm.

My dear sis + BIL Andrew, Chris + Elynne came to pick us up :) Yeah such big shots right.. haha. In actual fact, the big shot is the little sleeping imp!

Megan was an angel during the 14-hr flight back! Slept all the way!! Waking up once, fed her milk and she went back to sleep. Woke up 1 hour to touch down :) But she was a terror during the 1hr flight from KUL - SIN. But it was an hour so bearable.

It's funny how however wonderful your trip was, you still feel elated when your plane touched down at Changi Airport. You can be having the most romantic time strolling River Seine in Paris, enjoying the Big Ben from London Eye, gorging fabulous tuscany cuisine in Florence, frowning at paintings at the Prado Musuem in Madrid... but somehow when it's time to go home.. it's bittersweet. Sad for the live fantasy to end (and face reality back home = Work & bills *sigh*) yet glad to be heading home, back to the comforts of your home.

I feel particularly sad cos it will be a long while before we go back to Europe. I LOVE Europe and the europeans.. great bunch of people! In the coming months, we will be busy. Just waiting for a phonecall. Anytime now! *jitters*

Megan went to bed after her bath + milk at 11pm. She was tired and fell asleep promptly. Surprised cos she slept quite abit during flight. Praying she will sleep throughout the night. Strangely I'm not feeling too tired. Unpacked a little, leaving the rest for tomorrow. Urrgghhh... laundry!! :(

Got my little present from Zack next to me in bed :)

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1) Sent an email (with pics) to grandma Nancy
2) Post some pics on FB for grandma Elsie

Both grandmas are missing Megan. See.. I on holiday still must send pics back to them! hahahha!

Now I'm going to fill up the tax refund forms.. got quite a few to complete! :S Then it's off to bed. REALLY tired. Praying Megan will sleep through the night. She has been having fitful sleep the past 2 nights. I have to carry her and she'll only go back to sleep ON ME! *yawns*

Ok ciao~

Really cold in Madrid today!!!

Oh yes it is! Coldest since we arrived. 9degrees at night WITH WIND :S Nose was getting frozen!

But no, not complaining. Cold is always better than humid plus we got sunshine too.

Legs are about to break. We have been walking for the past 2 days.. serious walking! We didnt take any metro or bus... just walked everywhere. All over the place! Thank goodness for my new boots! :) I had to broken-heartedly leave my ecco boots behind at Barcelona. It was completely worn out. But it had served me well the past 3 years and well worth its pricetag.

Anyhow, had an awesome time today. Went to San Gines not once but TWICE!!! Hot chocolate + Churros. Imagine chocolate so thick the spoon floats on it!

Managed to find San Gines the night before after 15mins of walk. Lights blinking before us, my chocolate + churros just minutes away from me. Then we had to walk off. Little one started to fuss. And hearing her fuss, we know we will not have an enjoyable snack. The sacrifices parents make.. *sigh* But Zack promised me we will be back and we were! He is now hooked to it.. hahha!

(Megan started fussing so had to stop last night)

Gosh, Megan has been fussing the past 2 nights! It's pretty warm in the room, especially where her cot is so we moved it. She was slightly better last night. Hope tonight she will be good and we can sleep well.

10am:
and it's 3 degrees outside now!
We shall brave the cold later.
Off to the Royal Palace and more shopping at Puerta del Sol!
Zack bought me a little present yesterday!!! *beams*

Cute as a button :)...

...in Barca.

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Megan & Daddy in Barcelona..

Last dinner :)

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Our first night in Madrid...

So interesting! Saw a gay rights activists rally, just marching along-side us right up to Puera del Sol! (2 gals kissing as they march!) Followed by a great dinner @ Plaza Santa Ann (where our hotel is): Fish soup is the best!! But still cant beat the venetian fish soup i had in Venice. Gonna hit the sack now. Long day coming up tomorrow! :)

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OHLA!

Our 3rd day in Barcelona.. We have been blessed for great weather! Even in London.. it only rained when we were leaving and we went caught in a light drizzle.

Barcelona is beautiful!!! It reminds us of Venice. A bigger Venice on land. Winding walkways that leads to even more walkways... there is something to find everywhere. The architecture of the buildings are gorgeous! I can´t describe it in words.. haha. Our first night in Barcelona, we had dinner at a Tapas Bar. Followed by a nice stroll around our hotel area, through the winding paths. Cool crisp air, 18 degrees - it´s perfect, with a gelato in hand.. just walking and chatting. Feels like a throwback in time to our honeymoon.. our night strolls in Paris :)

Girona left us speechless. Our hotel room is just stunning! Probably the best I´ve stayed in by far.. oh yes, even Maldives! Well to me at least.. haha. The photos will tell the story. I love history and anything historic so put me in a room that is centuries old, i´m a goner :P I may look the part of a city girl, i´m a historic at heart.

Yesterday we went to Sagrada Familia and managed to chance upon the House of skull at Passig De Gracia (High end shopping area). Bought something there! Now we are having a headache of lugging it back!

It´s been a challenging trip. This sure is an education for us. Bringing a toddler on a long haul trip. She doesn´t like being in the stroller for long (who does) but we can´t let her walk. Once she is on her feet, she is like a kampong chicken.. all over the place! Dangerous. And cobblestones are not meant for little toddler´s feet. So that´s a struggle for us. Keeping her happy and quiet in her stroller. Train and plane rides are wailing fits.. sighs. So we try to carry her (she is VERY heavy) as much. Poor girl is also teething. Cut her 8th tooth in London! Worst part, we ran out of teething rusks and can´t find any around here :( So keep us in your prayers!

Sleep wise - Megan is an angel. Sleeps in the cot throughout the night.

It´s slightly past 10am and Zack and Megan are still aslp! Gonna wake Zack up soon. We were all awake, even the little one, but they both went back to bed while I shower.. tsk tsk. There is a laptop in the hotel room but the connection aint all perfect. Another hit on hotels for me *smirk* Location is fab, right smack on La Ramblas, but got a room facing the inner court so minus the noise. 1min walk to the metro (Liceu) which is just 1 stop away from Catalunya (interchange). A hightech hotel and there´s a hydromassage shower!! Spacious too for an european hotel so Megan is happy.. haha. But I´m just pissed for the service! Asked for a blardee hairdryer (supposed to have one in the room but there isnt): 3 calls, more than an hour wait. Finally someone brought 1 up after the 3rd annoyed call. Guess what? It doesn´t work. I give up. I shall have unblown awful hair during my days in Barca.

Today: Back to Passig De Gracia! Still wondering if I should get that pair of boots (i´m wearing out mine and oh my poor feet) Zack says I´m a slave to fashion.. haha. Then a cable car ride to Montjuic in the later part of the afternoon! There is a huge children area for Megan to play. Then a musical fountain display at night. She will enjoy it :)

Notice how it´s about Megan now? This is how it´s like when you have children. We are a family of 3 now. We have to meet the needs of 3 individuals now. No mean feat. I have learnt alot for the trip. Logistics and such. Made some mistakes. I am a perfectionist so I get upset with myself when things dont go perfectly. Still, I want to give myself a pat on the back on what has been from months back right up to this trip - work, megan, house, planning for this trip. Despite the hiccups, I say I did a pretty great job! and I so righfully deserve a little present! :)

For starter: CHOCOLATE AND CHURROS for breakfast!!!


(note: sorry no pics as i´m down to the last 2MB for my blogs. Time to swtich blogs.)

Greetings from London!!

Its 5:30am and somehow i'm awake. Weather has been great lately! None of the famous rain. Just a tad gloomy ydae but was all sunshiny on Sun. Did tons and im aching all over! Later today we are off to Buckingham Palace, Picadilly circus - i need new shoes!!, and if weather permits, picnic at Hyde Park! :) Having a blast!! Wishing we have more days but we are off to Spain next! :)

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3am!

And we just finished packing! Cleaned and tidy up the hse too - toilets washed, floor mopped. Whenever i go on a trip, i just got to make sure the hse is clean before leaving. Gotta be up by 5:30am. Andrew is picking us up at 7am. My sis has to be at the airport at 7:30am too. She is flying off to Hong Kong.. And flying out from the same terminal as us! Gosh i'm so tired. Praying megan will be good during the flight and hopefully i can catch some wink.

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Awake since 7:30am!

Can't sleep!
Alrighty, I'm getting excited!!!
Head in overdrive now... TONS to do today.
and couple more work stuff to do then i'm turning this thing off.
Zack wanna bring along the laptop so I might check in now and then.

Be back later~

*need coffee!*

ONE DAY TO GO....!!!!

Excited?
Just a tad.
Not getting the buzz yet.

Busy trying to tie up loose ends at work on top of packing. My head, oh my head, is filled to the brim with stuff.. numerous channels sifting rapidly. Ticking off my to-do list and trying to get work done before I could fly off in peace. I'm so tired... *yawns*... and hungry.

Packing... what have I missed???
Enough warm clothes for Megan?
Entertainment?
Food? I am hating myself for caving in to jarred foods :(

Bought instant oats (add hot water and good to go) and some jarred food. Either to mix with the oats or have it on its own. Megan has been eating lovingly home-cooked meals from the very start. Now she is having commerically prepared food :( I seriously don't get why some mothers choose jarred foods. Firstly, it's so much more costly. Secondly, nothing beats freshly cooked meals. And cooking doesn't take more than 10mins. Definitely not gonna bash other mums for taking that route. It sure doesn't mean they are any lesser. Just thought it's a no-brainer. Godma believes that the reason why Megan is so healthy (not fallen ill once thus far *touch wood*!) is becos of the nutritious food she eats. I say it's also bcos of the grace we say before every meal :)

So it will be a very challenging trip.
14.5mth old toddler, 14 hour long flight... *grimace*
Megan is VERY active now.. she is like a boy!
Check out her blog and watch what a monkey she is now.. haha.
So keep us in your prayers!
Journey mercy, good weather, smooth transitions.. and a great time!
i'm NOT gonna think about work or worry about Pappe!

"Dear Lord, I leave Pappe in your mighty Hands. Keep her safe from harm and danger. Help her to eat well and have a great time at Rachel's. That she will be obedient and not run off if she is off the leash. Protect her little heart and give us a miracle. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen."

Now i'm feeling slightly panicky I can't remember the detailed instructions after landing :( Gotta read up again tomorrow.

Off to my last event before i fly off! Wouldnt end til 9 plus.. Yawns. 2 more days of work to go. Plenty to do!

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Should I go for a hair trim?

Zack and I had a leisure date today :) It's been too long since we had one. It's usually movie - dinner - home. Had a few stuff to buy for our trip so it was task specific yet we had a great time. Zack didn't utter a single complaint! No "hurry up, i'm hungry/tired." Got to attribute to the fact that he has been in high spirits. Oh yes, VERY high spirits :) So there we were, sipping Gong Cha.. picking up long johns for Megan, and utilize our Fox (Zack's obit jacket.. haha) & Forever 21 (part of my mothers' day gift) shopping vouchers. Everyone has something!

Godma dropped by this afternoon. I don't know.. til now I still can't comprehend how anyone can be quite so generous and selfless. Her generousity and thoughtfulness touched us immensely. She has done more for us than most parents would. And this cemented my belief that blood is NOT thicker than water. I want to be as filial to her as I possibly can. These months had been tough ones. Exceedingly tough. And sometimes I shamefully admit I questioned God.. "Why God why? If it's from You, why is it so tough?" Then I realised that it is only through these tough times, that I see who are the ones who are there for me. Holding my hand, supporting me. I am humbled. My Godma. My sister. I never realised how much they love me til now. That I mattered. And this is what God wants me to see. They are the ones. I will remember this til the day I die.

10.10.10

Today is supposed to be my sleep-in day. Zack was going to wake when Megan does, feed her, diaper change her, then watch her for the morning :)

BUT......

I was up by 8:30am!!! :S
and no one was awake..... right down to little old woman, pap.

10am now:

and i've cleaned the floor, did the laundry, wash the dishes, now i'm watching some telly with last night's sarpino's pizzas.

and still, everyone is still asleep.
So much for sleeping-in uh!

But I woke up today with a smile on my face :)
It's the first in a LONG LONG time.
I usually wake up with work foremost in my head, and i drag myself off bed with sigh.

Our conversation last night:

J: I'm so happy you know *hug zack*

Z: hahah.. of course you are happy. You get to **,** and ** (Sorry can't spill yet. Perhaps after we are back from Europe)

J: *grins*

OK shan't waste time here.
Today is our date day!!!
Zack and I are going part towing later.
I gotta go check out GV on good movies.
We need to get some for Megan, trying to find wool leggings for Megan.

I HAVE TO FOCUS!!!

and go back to our trip!
only in 1 weeks' time!

Can you imagine me being distracted from London and Spain??

6 surprising signs of depression

Little do I know, I got depression! But it's gonna ease off some :) 4 days of work then off we fly! When we come back, there are stuff for us to settle :) Already Zack said this to me yesterday, "You look happier now :)" Yes I do!

Click here for article

1. Achy joints and other unexplained pain
Often people notice that they don't feel well, or that something hurts and don't connect it with depression. "But headaches, back pain, stomach aches, and joint discomfort are actually common signs," says psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, MD, medical director of NRI Community Services in Rhode Island. "And they often resolve when the depression gets better."

2. Gut reaction
Changes in your bowels (constipation or having to use the bathroom more than usual) are telltale signs of anxiety, which in itself is a stealth symptom of depression. This is especially true of women, says Haltzman.

3. Diving into work
Some people stop functioning and don't get out of bed. Others do the opposite, says Philip Muskin, MD, professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia Unversity, which is one of the screening sites. "Often people push themselves as hard as they can, physically and emotionally—into work, training for a marathon. It's as if they're fighting the depression." While a hard worker might just be trying to score a promotion, Muskin says, when fueled by depression, the drive doesn't have that clear goal.

4. Interviewing, but not getting the job
When you're trying to get hired, depression is an insidious handicap, leeching you of the energy, warmth, and can-do spirit a person hiring wants to see. You may not realize you're running on a low battery, but it's as if the disease creates a palpable apathy. "From the interviewer's perspective," says Muskin, "there's a very real difference when you look somebody in the eye and he doesn't really look back, or his voice doesn't have that quality of I'm really excited to be here, because he's not excited about anything." Also, Muskin points out, when you're depressed it's harder to dress and put yourself together in a way that says, "Hire me."

5. Paranoid thoughts
Haltzman says in about 10 percent of cases, depression may include delusional thoughts. "I had a very bright patient with a PhD," he says, "and she began to think that someone had planted the wires in her house to spy on her." The delusions may take the form of thinking you have a fatal illness. Being convinced you have Alzheimer's, for example, can be a red flag for depression, Haltzman says, because those who actually suffer from it generally aren't aware they're losing their memory.

6. Not being in the mood
When interest in sex nosedives for one person in a couple, there are all kinds of reasons that come to mind—age, boredom, medications, and mistresses among them. But Muskin stresses, it's also a common sign of depression, especially when the man is suddenly unable to perform. "Depression makes you lose interest in a lot of things, including making love. If you notice a change, it's something to consider."

11:15pm:

Work done.
Nice hot shower.
Now I'm ready to play!

My head is spinning with too much stuff. Our long awaited trip is in 1 week!!! Preparing to settle my work and leave in peace. Next week will be good cos alot of my members are travelling. No one to bother me! I don't quite feel ready for the trip yet. A checklist of stuff to do. Megan needs shoes! and I wonder if she has enough warm clothes. I gotta go try on my "gorgeous coat" too. I'm afraid it'll hang on me now :( While I'm happy i've lost weight and pretty much back to my pre-preg bod, I'm not psych having my clothes hang on me. The only things I allow to hang on me are sparkly blings blings!

I don't know how I'm going to do it but somehow I have to. It's an enormous task my hubby asks of me. Our focus is off at the moment. If we scurry, we might be able to wrap things up by mid week and turn our heads back to our trip! It takes something huge to divert our attention and this is HUGE. First things first...

If motherhood has taught me anything, it will be organizing. I can proudly say I'm damn good at it! Planning meals, schedules, appointments, meetings way ahead. Perhaps that's why i'm losing sleep. Cos my mind is always on overdrive! :(

Let me tell you about my day...

6:10am: Megan woke up and started crying. Bad dream probably. Can't leave room without her fussing. Can't sleep until almost close to 7am.

7:20am: Alarm sounded. Time to wake, bathe and get ready.

9:30am: Meeting @ Great World City.

11:15am: Appointment @ Paragon.

11:45am: Appointment @ Tong Building. Buy lunch @ Lucky Plaza.

12:15pm: Reached home. Cook Megan's lunch. Fed Megan. Have lunch with Zack.

1:00pm: Work.

2:20pm: Clean up house. Wash dishes. Cook Megan's dinner.

2:45pm: Leave home for appointment. Brought Megan along, Rachel babysit Megan @ her office.

3:30pm: Appointment @ Raffles Place.

4:00pm: Reached Rachel's office.

4:30pm: Zack picked us up @ Marina Boulevard.

5:00pm: Reached Kaki Bukit to buy Megan's travel stroller.

6:30pm: Dinner @ Sbey Sbey.

7:45pm: Reach home. Feed Megan. Bath Megan. Iron Zack's uniform.

8:30pm: See Zack off to work.

Now: Blogging.

Later: Clear some emails.

Quite a day yah.

Sometimes I wonder how I made it through some days..

Meetings/appointments during the day.

Work still awaits at night.
Then there is Megan to look after. Housechores to do.
I.AM.COMPLETELY.EXHAUSTED.

Tons of coordination and I must say, the PAs of my members are really helpful. They understand my situation and are always willing to offer their help. Not to mention my dear sister. I honestly wouldn't have made it this far without her! I should give her part of my paycheck!

Saved the best for last...

Something REALLY important happened today. That's why I had to take Megan along with me even though Zack is home. He had to attend to something very important. Things are looking promising. Not ready to spill the beans here yet. We will know in 2 weeks time. I'm praying before we head off for our trip next week! Whatever the case, I want my hubby to know that... I'm immensely proud of him! :)

YESTERDAY

Managed to lunch with Theresa (ex-boss) yesterday. I'm SOOOOOO happy to see her. It's funny how even though we have not met in months, the minute we met.. it's as though we are still in the office, sitting side by side, working together (or rather me working under her ) gossiping.. hehe. Apart from Godma, she is the closest I have to a mother :) She told me of office gossip and the latest happenings. Updates on her children. I ranted to her. Just like the old days :) That's the thing about being in HR. You tend to stick together cos alot of what you know is P&C. You sure can't talk to the employees about it so you share among the department.

Zack called me during our lunch. He was out offshore fishing.

Z *excited*: Guess what?

J: What? You caught a 10kg fish? (He caught a 8-9kg fish last trip)

Z: No. *told me*

J *in disbelief*: Don't bluff me! You're bluffing me right?!! I'm gonna be so pissed if you are bluffing me!

Z: Hahahahaa! No I'm not bluffing you! Really!!!

J: OMG!!!!

call continues then ended.

Theresa: You look so happy :)


Alrighty, let me go get some work done. Send some emails out. Tomorrow will be a day at home with Megan but busy preparing for Friday's exco meeting and more stuff to do for next Tue's event. I'm taking the lead! Shirley's guiding me. I'm really blessed to have people like her around. She'd drop me a call or sms just to check on me: "Are you okay? Anyone giving you a hard time? Anything just call me okay?" :) After work is done, I'll turn that damn thing off! (I only work on my work laptop) and come back here to do some research ;)

Not yet 9am...

And already i feel drained. On my way to a meeting at Great World. 2 more appts to arrange today. And tons of work to do. This is crazy. Gotta make sure im home by 3. If i hve an appt at that time, gotta take megan along. Something VERY IMPORTANT is taking place from 3-4pm later!

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THE CALL CAME!!

Omg...

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My stomach growled..

..and I realised i hve not had bfast! On my way out for meeting or two.. 2nd one might not happen. Hoping it wouldnt so i can have lunch with Theresa! Will be in tanjong pagar. Arghh.. Im so hungry. Busy all morning replying emails, cleaning the floor, cooking megan's lunch.. That i forgot to make myself a bowl of raisin bran. Praying all goes well at the bank later. (IMPORTANT NOTE: Make that call for Zack) Megan is such a sweetheart. She saw me off just now blowing kisses and waving. She is enjoying the day with grandpa :)

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