i cant believe it....

Why anyone would book their travel 8 months in advance is beyond me! I went to check on the airtickets.. flight timings and guess what? the lowest class fare seats are snapping up fast! 8 months in advance??!!! whatever are those people thinking of??

Even the rooms of one of the hotels i got my eye on are snapping up fast *wails* No no no.. after tons of research, that's the only hotel i wanna stay at! *cries* the magnificent view at night, oh that magnificant view at night.. *sobs* i see my dreams going up in a smoke........

let a married woman indulge ;)

After a day off at work (for the photoshoot), i got a call from a colleague who heard from my boss that i'm getting married.

James Coventry: i heard you were off yesterday?
Me: Yeah, went for my bridal photoshoot.
James Coventry: So i heard. All of us up here wore black yesterday.
Me: Awwww..
James Coventry: I told Mark Morley about you getting married and he wanted to jump right out of the window!
Me: *laughs* right right..
James Coventry: Well... on one hand, we are happy for you....
Me: But on the other?
James Coventry: Well, let's not talk about it anymore.....
Me: *laughs*

we then went back to talking shop.

All said in jest but hey, it's still flattering! hahahaha. My boss told me he said Zack is one lucky guy! heard that darling? *winks*

"let's look on the bright side of life.."

Just done with our PHOTOSHOOT yesterday.
2 words.
TIRING.
SWEET.
Day started off sucky.
It rained, i had a zit on my chin, the roses i bought for my hand bouquet looked the worse for wear in the morning so i didnt DIY, we couldnt get a cab and rode there instead.. imagine helmet- flatten hair, we were 30mins late, and we arrived there cold and wet. Sigh.
But things looked up as the day went by.
Hard to stay gloomy when you are all made up,
dressed in gorgeous gowns and looking your very best.
And despite thinking its a waste of time,
Zack was a very good sport about it.
So we posed, we kissed, we stared tenderly into each others eyes.
We walked, we pretended to talk (on demand), we flashed megawatt smiles.
One of the places we went was Lower Pierce Reservoir (one of our part tow place).. it was sweetly nostalgic.. and erm.. interesting.
There were hordes of monkeys there.
Everywhere you turn, you'd see a monkey or two.
Guess what? we saw monkeys screwing! LOL.
And boy are they fast, screwing time is like 15secs!
no wonder they populate so quickly.. LOL.
Wish i'd brought Alfie..
Photos out in a weeks time.
Hope the shots will turn out well *fingers crossed*

(Gush Time: Zack looks absolutely dashing in his mandarin collar suit!! He reminds me of Keanu Reeves in Matrix!! All tall and sleek *SLURP*)

Wrapped up at 6.30pm.
So we celebrated a long day of hard work with a good dinner.
TONY ROMAS!
i finally had MY STEAK!
a 10oz ribeye steak should wean me off my craving.
it'd better.. it cost a bomb!

so tell me.

Why is manicure/pedicure considered part of the 'pampering yourself' routine? I personally find it a chore. Sitting there not being able to do anything, and when the color is finally painted, you have to put your hands in this contraption (i use this word for lack of a better one) where cold air blows on it. It's frigging cold its like a torture. Again, you gotta sit there for 15mins, enduring the cold and not being able to move. After its done, you walk ard with your fingers stretched out. You gotta be careful with what you touch, where you placed your hands. Me? I smudged my manicure less than 5 mins after i got home. Sigh. Guess i dun even have to mention how ridiculously priced they are. And why should i pay someone $30 - $60 for something i can do myself. And this $30 - $60 only last for an average of 4 days.

But i'm so glad PS (photoshoot) is over. I'm not as narcisstic as it seems.. hahaha. Spoke with Bernard and Kelvin (the photographers) on photography. Got some pointers from them. How i wish.. how i wish.

PS: a photoshoot sure puts you in a lovey dovey mood.. way after *smile*

ONE DEAD, ONE HURT

A motorist was killed instantly and another injured in a collision between a car and a truck along Changi Coast Road yesterday at about 9.40am.

Both drivers were trapped in their vehicles and Singapore Civil Defence Force officers worked simultaneously to extricate them.

The driver of the car, who was in his 20z, was pronounced dead at the scene by SCDF paramedic.

The other driver, in his 30s, was driving a DHL Global Mail truck. He suffered arm and leg injuries and was taken to Changi General Hospital.

Another of Zack's case.

He msged me yesterday morning about this case where the guy 'collasped' (died) on them. He sounded pretty bummed but there is only so much they could do for him. Young chap, life just snuffed out in a flash. So ppl, please dont live life on the edge. Drive safely.

He discussed this case in detail with me over dinner that night. So while i was trying to swallow my pizza, i had to hear about the deep lacerations, massive head fractures, facial distortion etc. Not the nicest picture in the world. It was horrid. The car was totally smashed in in the front, by a huge DHL track. And the truck was overturned. Impact: Go figure. (Check out today's Home section, front page.)

Well, the pizza did managed to go down (and stay down), albeit not as smoothly as i would like. Being the wife of a paramedic, i've grown to have a pretty tough stomach. Part of our daily routine was talk through our day over dinner, its just so that the life of my paramedic aint that 'appetizing'. I've grown used to hearing about brain grey matter splattered on the floor, how a fall from height (flying without a parachute) case looks like, skulls split open like melons, over a nice dinner of rice/bak kut teh/veg/fried cod fillet....

Having said that, i'm so proud of my paramedic. Not everyone is cut out for the medical line. You have to think on your feet, cool in your head and quick with your hands. It really takes alot out of a person. Emotionally and mentally. Above all, you need to have a good heart. Cos without a kind heart, your passion wouldnt last.. and the job would lose its meaning for you. It stems out from whats within.

Once again, I give thanks to God. For i'm blessed with a kind-hearted husband. He cares and yet his strength shines through. He doesnt do it for the money (though its getting mighty good.. sheesh, we're having a close fight now and he seems to be winning.. dammit!) but bcos he simply enjoys helping people. And with God's favour, he is doing really well in his career. I'm waiting with bated breath for good news in May!

i got a ride home today! yay!!!
muakies to my sweetheart! - who is waiting downstairs for me just as i'm typing this :)
I'm soooo hungry.
I got a shock when i took my weight last night.
45.8kg AFTER dinner!
ahhhhhh.... i need to eat!
i dun intend to be a scarecrow bride.

i've got mail! :)

10 to 7...

...and i've just finished sorting out my next day's work.
What a pile.
Just hope i'd actually work on it tomorrow.
Payroll is done.
Payroll Analyis Report too.
I hate numbers, we are so not good friends.
But they say, keep your enemies close.
I'm starting to talk nonsense.
I just wanna blank my head and stone.
Stoning is good.
Stoning is relaxing.
I'm dreading the long journey back home.

I'm famished.
All i had today was a sandwich.
I need to beef up abit.
I think i'd survive well in wartime.
My stomach is customed to hunger pangs.
Its a pity my current craving is mighty costly.
I WANT BEEF!!!!!!
I want a hearty steak.. thick, tender and juicy...

Aint this pathetic?
I'm sitting in my little office cubicle, at 7.05pm, fantasizing about a fat steak.

i want you.... *sobs*

We went on a shopping spree.. and didnt fork out a single dollar!

$499.80 worth of goodies

1) steam iron
2) shaver
3) toothbrush
4) hairdryer
5) weighing scale

the hairdryer was power! it has a cold boost which you use last so your hair would be all nice and soft. Plus ions (whatever that may be) to protect your hair. I never would have bought a $99 hairdryer if i have to fork out cash. And zack was exclaiming the awesome attributes of the steam iron just now.. haha. But the prettiest buy would be the weighing scale! We had a pleasant surprise when we opened the box.. it was a piece of glass which the digital screen at the top.. you cant tell its a weighing scale. Looks stylish!

TUESDAY: BEN&JERRY'S FREE CONE DAY/GFS DAY!
popped over to suntec during lunch to run an errand and 'lunch' with SY. As it was Ben&Jerry's Free Cone Day, we just had to grab a free cone! Just queuing for it takes up more than half the lunch hour.. it was a mighty good thing my lunch hour(s) are flexible!


just check out the snaking queue.. and its not just this area! its snakes out to the other entrance of Carrefour. Singaporeans sure love their ice-cream, but i reckon is more on the fact that its FREE!

but the choices of ice-cream more than makes up for it!

Take your pick!


STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE RAWKS!!!

later in the evening, caught THE REAPING with Jo and SY!
great show with a twist at the end (kinda expected it though)
Jo and i were hiding behind shawls and whatever we could find..
while SY was shaking her head away.. i was afraid it might drop off!
thanks gals for the company! muaks!

these pretty much sums up my week.
just finished a 2-day course,
though i've more or less learnt 80% of it on the job.
nevertheless, it was still pretty beneficial.

alrighty, i'll take off now and continue with my research!
my head is so overloaded with information
i'm mixing it all up.. haha.
YES! our Honeymoon is so totally confirmed!!!!
postponing it back 3 months later than planned,
which is ideal!!!
i'm so excited about it.
only thing is having to wait out til then.
but its still good cos we'd have more moolah by then,
yeah! plenty plenty more moolah!
and dun have to pinch pennies while we're there.

*skips*

close friends of mine will probably know how passionate i can get about something. How enthusiatic, how excited, how zesty. How i can throw myself wholeheartedly into it. Every now and then you'd prob find me bubbling with excitement over something. Some thing i wanna do.. i wanna learn.. or some thing i wanna get. Below is an excerpt of a conversation some time back with a close friend. It was interesting.

Ju says (2:46 PM):
i should have seen it coming before i even registered for it
Sy says (2:47 PM):
BUT that is the Juliana Huang we all noe!
Ju says (2:47 PM):
i was really excited and enthusiatic about it u noe... rearing to go.. engine all vived up
Sy says (2:48 PM):
always so pasionnate abt the the things she sets her heart and eyes on.........Will get it by hook OR BY CROOK
Sy says (2:48 PM):
despite the whole world holding her back
Ju says (2:48 PM):
impulsive lah
Sy says (2:48 PM):
to summarise.....
Sy says (2:48 PM):
STUBBORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ju says (2:48 PM):
ahahaha.. but apt and succint
Ju says (2:48 PM):
u noe me so well!
Sy says (2:49 PM):
haiz......this part abt you has remain very much the same since 16
(she still remembers how badly i wanted a papillion.. I was poring over dog books on Papillon (breed of my darling Pappe) in the library way back in school.. haha)

So what brought about this chain of thought?

This morning in the train, i was reading up profusely the travel guides on our honeymoon, when i suddenly had a jolt. Why am i doing this?!?! I had a reality check. To begin with, this trip isnt even confirmed! We might not even be going overall. Yet i've thrown myself headlong into this like my life depends on it. You'd be amazed at the extent of my research, its even laughable.

:: check out travel websites
:: call up travel agencies to check on flights
:: borrow books from library
:: stacks of travel mags awaiting my attention
:: talk to fellow travellers / locals on forums
:: do up spreadsheets / charts
:: chart out price comparisons
:: cutting corners to get the cheapest, best deals
:: check on domestic budget flights within countries
:: plan flight schedules
:: source out cheapest flight fares
:: plan out itinenaries
:: read up on tours, places of interest and its locations
:: read up on the hotels provided and its location
:: work on navigation between the cities

and now that i got the overview of the trip planned out.. i'm zooming into the individual cities! I've got 4cm-thick books on each city and i'm gobbling them up. And this morning, i even had the notion to do ala carte, meaning doing away with land tours and finding accomodation on our own. No mean feat, just tons of coordination and more research if its cost effective.

(But note: the trip is NOT confirmed.)

but i'm in way too deep.. i cant help myself. I've had dreams of it.. with the city names flashing rapidly thru my head. Too much reading before sleep is not always good. Perhaps i should take a few steps back. Or perhaps.... hai

and really... i'm such a geek.

I'M EXCITEDLY NERVOUS!!!!

at long last..

POPIAH PARTY @ JO'S

yes i know.. its long overdue.
was waiting for YY to email the pics but she must have forgotten and i'm too lazy to chase. So managed to grab some pics from Jo's blog (as she has finally put them up too) and finally start work on it.

check out our perfectly wrapped popiahs


all the trigger-happy snappers
we all look fatter from this angle somehow

and its only with yr gfs you can thoroughly enjoy a silly CHICK FLICK!
huddled together, we caught 'A Cinderalla Story' on cable.
well, this is something yr guy will never do with you - enthusiatically.
for some reason, Jane was really bothered with Hilary Duff's huge arms.. hahahaha

MUDPIE from ISLAND CREAMERY



sinful but oh so orgasmic
1 slab is enough
anything more would be too gagging

AFTER DINNER ACTIVITY - Coffee @ Airport
and we somewhat witnessed a medical situation

all we saw were paramedics, some body on a stretcher and tons of blood on the floor! so we were speculating what could have happened and none of us wanted to walk over to check it out (like so kaypo lor)

then genius ju decided to call her paramedic.
within 3 mins, we got our answer.
this poor chap's vericose vein erupted and lost 4 litres of blood.
poor guy.. the amount of blood was astounding
but they put him on drip so that managed to sustain him.

catching a movie with zack at Tampines so i had to leave early.
Changi Airport station @ Midnight


i was bored.. (and late)



i wanna try panning with Alfie.
just need to find a good location.

Ju's very own Saturday

i had a very productive saturday. Had a good nights' sleep and didnt rouse til 1pm. The first thing usually done is to find something to eat.. but not this little being. After washing up, the urge engulfed me so i took the broom and got to work.

1) Swept and mopped the floor
2) Did the laundry
3) Tidied the house
4) Watched some Travel&Living
5) Researched more on our HM

6) Enjoyed a msn session with Jo and SY. Now 2 ppl knows where we're planning to honeymoon.. i gotta kewl them now! They gave some pretty good advice.. so yeah, i think i'd stick to SY's suggestion and plan from there.. be adventurous! *winks* i'm speaking greek? sorry, only those involved would understand. heh.

7) Did a hair mask
8) Grocery shopping

if you noticed, i forgot to eat again!! sheesh!

now i'm just waiting for time to pass before i start preparing dinner. Zack wouldnt be home til 9.30pm so i'm only donning my apron at 8.45pm. How i wish i can come home to piping hot dinners too.. i'm so envious of zack *HINT HINT*

Tonight's special: Penne with ham and mushroom, in a nice flavourful carbonara sauce. Drizzled with shredded mozeralla cheese. Coupled with a sidedish of mini cocktails.

Dessert: Chempadek Ice-cream

Oh, like my new avatar? (pic on the sidebar) It was fun creating it. How apt.. from the cameo messenger bag (Alfie's bag).. to the Paris background.. to the little dachshund (not that i'd be carting Chile ard when i travel.. God forbids!).. to my all-time fav silver hoop earrings. Yes.. i was bored.. hahhaha!

i indulge....

on my way in today, i decided to indulge and bought my favourite chai latte from Coffee Bean. Its friday.. so just give myself a pat on the back for a week well survived.. haha.

but this is what life really is...

:: knocked off early from work
:: took a nice leisurely stroll from Havelock Rd to City Hall
:: chill at Funan's TCC
:: nice comfy cushy seats
:: a nice, albeit minute cheesecake and a JB Robb book
:: hubby came to pick you up
:: and foot the bill!

niceeeee *grin*

So we had our final fitting yesterday. My wedding gown bottom was still a little loose and more alteration needs to be done. I cant afford any weight loss! I finally found a dress that fits me (and i begged Yvonne for it cos its not part of my deal).. its a lovely long tier dress and it accentuate my curves *happy* I couldnt get the makeup artist i wanted so had to make do with the one D'sire arranged. I realised you just cant leave it to them, its imperative that you know exactly what you want. Didnt really like the way she did my eyes (from other D'sire brides, she likes blue and its true!) so i had to show her a pic of how i would like my eyes to look like.. the colors etc And she managed it. I always have a mind of what i like and what i want, so i dun reckon i'm a very easily satisfied customer.. i hardly just take what comes but will twist and turn things to my liking.. haha. But hey, its my BIG DAY so its my SAY!

speaking of having a mind of your own..

i realised that i married the male version of me. Probably more tenacious than i am. hahaha. My sweet darling has ideas (note plural) for almost everything! From the shape of our house downlights.. to the color of the toilet floor tiles.. to the definition of the wedding invite pic.. to the exact wordings of our wedding invites! Man oh man. But i must say i'm glad that my man takes on an active role in all our house/wedding preparations. I've heard stories. You should see how proud and excited he was after he did up the wordings on our cards. Its amazing the way a 1.8m tall, macho guy can morphed into a 8 yr old boy. Its damn cute lor. So cute that i forgot that i left the room with fumes going up my head 15mins ago. Why? we were arguing over something as stupid as whether to write in short form or not.. haha.. so fun!. And when he came bouncing into the room 15mins later and cart me off to the com room to show off his poetic capabilities, i was like, "hey! i'm still fuming u noe!" Well, he has a memory span of a fruit fly. *guffaws*

i'm getting pretty excited about our photoshoot, which will be in 2 weeks time! If i'm lucky, i'd be able to get my wedding shoes today. Got some places to check out after work.. wish me luck!

jumping the gun!

i'm reading..
i'm researching..
on our HONEYMOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know i've got a wedding to plan first.. but hey, i'm not sweating it out! Everything is under control.. i got my fingers on every pulse.. i noe someone will go.. "yeah right.." No worries, it's all in my head.. and sometimes i do my best work in there *smirk*

so on to something more exciting.
honeymoon whereabout?
*shhhhhhhh*
dun ask.
my lips are zipped.
not gonna jinx it.

and...

i wanna say thanks to my dearies.
you know who you are.
your sweet emails / msgs.
i hold dear to my heart.
*hugs*

touch-me-not

i'm tired.
all i wanna do is burrow in bed
to sleep, to read.
if sleeping is an escape.
if reading is an escape.
then what am i running from?

am i just going thru a rough patch
or have i finally seen my reflection
and something else stares back?

i strive for perfection.
yet i get discouraged easily.
i have a dead weight in my chest this morning.
breathing round it proves difficult.
i'm like a rubber band stretched taut.
i'm prickly as a porcupine.
i'm sensitive as touch-me-not.
i'm hungry but i cant eat.
my shields are up
and i wanna cry.
what's happening to me?

monsters

what are they?
they are your fears.. real and unreal.
they are your stumbling blocks.
sometimes, they look bigger than they really are.
cos you feed them, you give them too much credit.
and sometimes, you get too paralysed by your fear that you just shun them
you hide away and pretend they dun exist.
sadly, they do and will continue to haunt you
but you'd be surprised that when you finally do face them,
they really aint that daunting afterall.

sometimes they bite.
and it hurts.
but you learn.
that you cant escape.
sometimes, you just have to fight your monsters.
no one is gonna do it for you.

if you're lucky, you would have nice ppl who will fight alongside with you.
but more often than not, you're on your own.
but that's where you learn.
to be strong.
to be brave.
cos when the going gets tough,
the tough gets going.

and as you grow up,
more monsters await you.
sometimes they are imaginary.
sometimes they are real as the person next to you.
question is: do you fight the fight?

why cant i just have it for one day?
complete peace.
complete happiness.
it has to be marred.
nothing i do is ever enough.
it seems like i'm never good enough.
every small things i do get bypass.
no one really sees what is
but wats not.
i'm sick and tired of it.

i need a run.
i need to clear my head.

almost 5 in the morning
and i'm all revved!
just got back from supper at Thomson Prata.
whiled the night away at Chris's with Des and Chris.
it was a night of booze, cards, soccer matches and MTVs.
my darling's poor hookah only received 5 puffs.
(its ok my love.. hug hug)
i still prefer Heineken to Stella Artois
not that i like beer.
have not acquired a taste for it.
if i ever will.

more to blog (popiah party at Jo's) but not now.
gotta go work on the pic for our wedding invite.
yeah, we've picked out our invitation card!
definitely not the traditional cream or red for us.
no one can accuse us of following the mainstream.
we are such rebels!
we are such.... trendsetters! *buffs*

run or i'll show my fangs

so i was having a nice restful sleep when i received a call. It was a response to my ad on a sale of a VS babydoll lingerie. So the guy was asking about the cup size, how it looks etc. Then he started asking if the nipples can be seen thru the cups, and if the pubic hair can been seen thru the g-string which i tot was a little strange. He wanted to buy it so we were arranging to meet.. when the conversation started to get even more strange..

"have you worn it before?"
"of crse not! its brand new, still unopen in the polybag"
"when can you wear it for me?"
"excuse me, are u trying to be funny?" (i tot i heard wrong in my groggy state of mind)
"have you had sex in it before?"
"what are you talking about?!"
"well, i would need to test it on you first."
"this is a proper business transaction and you are just tryin to be funny. If you ever do call me again, i'm gonna call the police and track you down!"
SICK PERVERT!!!
*slam down the phone*

Blardee cow! ruined my sleep... and now i'm awake. great.

i want the light at the other end of the tunnel

i've officially spent more than an hour on the phone since...... jeez.. i cant remember.. since eons.

I feel like i just had a wake-up call from God. I need Him in my life.. badly. I'm exhausted.. i'm all drained. I've nothing left to give. I've been crying inside for a long time, i just didnt know. I want that deep-in-the-gut happiness back. I want it all back.

and tonight.. is the night i mourn for a loss. I've always been a sentimental fool.. and deep down, my friends (no matter how horrid they are) matter to me. The years of friendship counts. But tonight, i had an awakening. Tomorrow, it'll be over.. so over. adieu~

i'm tired.. i'm so frigging tired.
the part i dread most is here.
its time to face my monsters.
pls dun ask me what it is.
once its over, i dun ever wanna talk about it..
to anyone.

so help me God..

the wheels are spinning..

this is probably the first time ever..
we nua-ed the whole weekend away.
AWESOME!
we slept and we slept and we slept somemore.

Only time we stepped outta the house was to go to Hougang Mall for a nice (albeit ex) jap dinner. Then to zack's parent's for some chit chatting. They just came back from a nice beach holiday on some isle in Msia. Now i know where zack got his wanderlust from. haha. I wonder where i got mine from. Then went home for a DVD marathon.. way way into the night. Nice....

so the wedding wheels started spinning.
worked on our guestlist.. sheesh. i abhore this part!
Guess what? we're getting videographers!
thanks to Mark, we dun have to pay thru our nose for it :D
*big hugs to Marky!*
zack is prob the first groom-to-be i noe who is so 'on' bout the wedding.. haha
instead of the bride pushing the groom to get work done,
my groom is the one holding the checklist and ticking them.. haha.
he told me not to worry, all i gotta do on that day is sit back and relax.
He got the program for that night all planned out.. imagine that!
i think he is up to something that night.
he refuses to tell me wat and said its between him and the host.
hmmmmm......?

once read this quote on Des's blog:
"most procrastinators put off work; not because they are lazy, but they lack confidence"
yup, i agree on that totally too.
i'm the classic example.