pensive..

another week awaits..
think i'll start my payroll tomorrow coz planning to go on leave..
another bout then another bout..

nice relaxing weekend with my dear..
movies, sleeping, lazing around, reading, home-cooked meals (tom yum soup with steamed sea bass.. yummy, melted cheese/sausage bun.. lovely)
was nice.. really nice :)

caught Hotel Rwanda last night at J8
a film all should watch
not for special effects or superb cast
but for the knowledge of wat goes on in this world of ours
deeply saddened and disturbed
amazing how nonchalent this world can be
oblivious to the plight of people they value as 'dirt, filth' lesser beings
why? becoz they are black? poor?

passed a stray dog lying in the middle of the road on our way home
got me worried for awhile
people would prob pass him off as a mongrel
worthless..
why? becoz he is a stray? becoz he is not a purebreed?
is a purebreed's life worth more than that of a mongrel?
no its not.. its not

awright, enough of this!
just some food for thought..

my head is throbbing
my head is bursting

i need to destress

can someone tell me a joke please... pretty please...

why does one yearn for more loving when one is sick?


*searching for that whiff of comfort*

pappe on my lap right now...
licking... as usual...
holding her close to my heart..
shedding a tear or two..
nothing must happen to her..
she's my life..
been through thick and thin with me..
always the constant in my life..
my baby..

who can comprehend the pain i feel..
the tears i shed..

"Lord, please keep pappe healthy and safe... "

*sniff sniff*

urgh! down with all the works again! sheesh!
wats wrong with me??!!!
hit me hard and fast this time (again)
feels like i'm carrying a ton of bricks on my back..
runny nose is irritating the heck outta me..
feels hot one minute and cold the next..
temp is a high of 38.2
looks like crap
feelsl like crap
tsk tsk..

brought pappe for a blood test for her teeth scaling (anesthesia)
results aint good..
high white blood cells count and some liver probs
she's on antibiotic now and going back for a review in 2 weeks time
hope all turns out well..
love her so much... my baby..

worry so much for zack too
occupational hazards is coming in full force now
sigh..

sometimes, loving so much aint all that good
but sometimes, you just cant help it..

need hugs and kisses...
need sleep...


....feeling woozy
....going to bed now
....night folks

baby... give me back my fantasy...

there's a pen/pencil thief in my office!
everytime i'm on leave, i'll always find my pens/pencils gone! *growls*
dun let me catch u buster! *fist*

another '12-hr shift' *headache*
time to start reevaluating my career options..
losing that joy in what i'm doing..

oh! caught Alfie last night.. Heard that it wasnt that great but i beg to differ.. tot it was pretty good. Not your blow-yr-mind-out kinda movie but a sweet, thought-provoking flick.. got me thinking about relationships, committments and stuff.. pretty reflective.. and not mentioning how hot Jude Law is! (yes, better than Brad Pitt & thats saying alot! ) oh man.. that's one hunk and a half! (disclaimer: i may drool & swoon but my zack is still my no.1! better put this down if not i wudnt get any free rides!) he has the most charming smile and captivating green eyes.. just love green eyes.. and i simply cant resist a million-dollar smile! (psst.. that's how i got 'cheated' by someone :P) and i noe zack cant take his eyes off his Vespa..! and no dear, u are not getting another bike...
hmm... maybe i'll name my son Alfie.... *grin*

Some wise rules to live by..
1) find someone to love..
2) live everyday like its the last..


going through a couple of transitions
in all aspects of my life
is this wat ppl call the mid-quarter life crisis?
next stage of a relationship?
feeling stified.. frustrated.. edgy and its manifasting in various areas
having BFs... urgh!
'i'm sorry dear and thank u for putting up with me.. love u so much for that *hugz*'


i just dont know what to do with myself...

back to work after almost a weeks break.. getting lazy.. back to reality now.. tsk tsk...


right... BANGKOK deets!

Surprisingly, didnt buy as many stuff as i tot i would... same prob with Hong Kong.. tsk tsk
funny isnt it? these are shopping paradises and shopping wasnt that much fun..
i bought more stuff in Chiangmai than in Bangkok!

but food was good!!! SPA was even better!!! had a honey seed body scrub & a honey massage... for only $40! awesome! skin is soft and smooth as a baby's *big grin*


places went were...
Chinatown
had supper at Chinatown on our first night at Bangkok! ordered a loadful of food! too bad didnt get to eat any sharks fin and bird nests..

Mah Boon Kroong
shopping.. had lunch at this restaurant.. phad thai was slightly different from usual, noodles were wrapped in omelette! nice nice..

Central World Plaza
huge on the outside but small on the inside.. boasts an ice-skating ring, cinema, bowling alley.. but shops are medicore only..

Caberat (Ah Gua Show)
its seriously hard to believe that every single performer on stage are guys! Some look sooo sweet! and Andy got acousted by this Ah Gua.. & right in front of Ching! Ching was fuming there! hahaha! come to think of it, it was damn funny... she's actually quite sweet, bought him a tub of prawn crackers.. and i get to eat it! hahaha! Those Ah guas came out at the end of the show to take pics.. 100 baht for 1 pic! Zack and Andy were 'forced' to touch their fake boobs.. said it felt very rubbery! icksss....! genuine stuff is always the best! ;P

pics up soon... u guys will salivate!

Divana Spa
It is THE BEST! thanks to Martin and David for the recommendations... u guys sure know how to enjoy life! :P

Zanoittl
Italian Restaurant... Foie gras that melts in your mouth! seriously! Zack ordered this realy interesting dish.. seafood risotto in squid ink.. it was just a blob of black stuff with 2 leaves in the middle.. but it taste surprisingly good!

etc etc etc..

jeez, i'm tired of recollecting what we did... so i'll stop here..
but its all good... pics up soon (hopefully) coz my pc is screwing up on me again and i think this time is for real.. *dollars flying*

glad for this break.. 5 full days with my boy :)

i'm back!! anyone miss me?? now now, i noe u guys do... hehehe ;P

have u guys seen a dog that's high!?!

my pappe is high from kahlua!!! LOL!
mixed some kahlua with milk and gave her some..
and she likes it!
so gave her more coz felt bad about leaving her for 4 days

AND SHE GOT HIGH!

symptoms:
- lay smack on floor
- body crunched low on the floor as she walks
- ears down
- tail down
- walk zigzag (no kidding!)

she looks so cute! love her sooo much..
missed her badly while i was in Bangkok..
more so after seeing those pups at Jatujak Market
it broke something in me..

was excited about seeing the pups..
but when i saw how those little sweeties were treated..
i just lost it..

saw this little pup (not even a mth old) at a pen. Her fur wasnt even fluffy. She was having difficulty in walking & i tot her leg was injured. I took a closer look and saw that she was shivering but no one cared...
i picked her up and found that she was wet! held her close to my chest.. her shivering subsided alittle after awhile.. prob from my warmth and heartbeat.. I couldnt stay quiet, so i told the gal tending to the pens that the pup was cold & shivering. She didnt do a thing and just nod her head! wanted to shake her and ask her to do something.
I placed the pup back into the pen after sometime.. it tore me.. it realy did.. to see her all shivering again.. wobbling ard the pen.. looking for milk? my throat welled up with tears..

totally lost my taste in everything from then on.. was so disgusted by this whole pets sale thing at Jatuchak.. i couldnt look any further.. as i walked past those stalls holding cages of pups.. it wasnt 'how cute that pup is!' anymore.. i saw everything in a whole new light.. i just couldnt look any further.. just couldnt..

dun wanna have anything to do with that place anymore.. heard stories about it but when u see it yourself, the truth slapped right at u.. it hit.. and hurts badly..

i dun want a squirrel anymore..


think i'll stop here
more deets tomorrow
when i'm in a better frame of mind
getting emo now

night folks..

nope! a lab / retriever (brown) pup is not allowed on my shopping list!

My squirrel takes precedence ;P


on a short short blogging break
tons of work to do before i leave
leaving to catch my plane in 4hrs and MY PAYROLL IS NOT DONE! *panic*
cindy (hr boss) had meeting the entire morning and meeting will continue after lunch!

cant seem to feel the excitement of my long-awaited trip
too stressed about work
sigh


back to work on my spending account now.. a race against time..

right... flying off tomorrow...
and gotta shopping list oredi.. hahaha!

1. 4-5 fresh mangoes (david, u are only getting the dried ones!)
2. lingerie for Theresa
3. purse for Aunty Tan
4. bracelets / earrings for Serene

and more still deciding wat they want... dateline is tomorrow 4.30pm peeps! hurry place yr orders!

loadsa (food) recommendations from my colleagues.. here goes it:

- Zanotti @ Saladaeng Rd (Italian Restaurant) has the best Foi Gras (ant, i will surely think of u when i'm savouring the mouth-watering foi gras! dun drool! muahahaha!)
- Enjoy a wonderous spa experience @ Divana Massage & Spa @ Sukhumvit (zack will surely love this! :) ) Body Scrub! Body Scrub!
- Binge on a wide array of seafood at Seafood Market & Restaurant - Sukhumvit... u get to pick your crabs, lobster etc from tanks and get the chef to cook it anyway u like!
- Senses at the new shopping mall (Gay-something?) has excellent desserts..
- Chinatown has cheap and good Sharksfins.. a claypotful only $12.50!
- Foodcourt at Mah Boon Kroong has the best fruit juice! Concentrated Mango juice! awwww...
- Banana Leaf (eatery) at this shopping mall at Silom Street has mouth-watering Sombom (spelling?) crabs akin to chilli crabs (another of zack's favourite)
- Airport Terminal 2 sells Mango Sticky Rice! (that i love!!)

sounds good? ;P

**hope to find nice navel jewellery :)

I WANNA BUY A SQUIRREL!!!

its 7.45pm..
been in the office for 12 hours..
working on my spp spreadsheet..
excel 'encountered a problem and needs to shut down'..
i didnt save my work..
my past 30 mins of work is gone..

gimme a shoulder... *cries*

nope


... psyched it off

... shrugged it off


bad tots, dun come back!

slept it off...... ?

slept for a record of 14 hrs!
woke up @ 3pm, had my 'breakfast' of beehoon+egg+prawn paste chicken :)
did some reading.. then dozed off again!
woke up again at 7.30pm! tsk tsk...
i'm sucha pig....
but sleep is always gooooood ;)

yiming is now at WA...
crashing at rayner's..
i wonder go too!!!!
clear waters... clean sandy beaches...
tanning... shopping @ sussan (sleepwear!)...
and all those 'hanging' stuff like spiral windchimes etc..
had plans to go over this summer for some surfing...
somehow that didnt materialise...

kiteboarding in bintan in feb?? something to look forward to!

oh! did i mention i'm going to BANGKOK next week!!!
WOOHOOOOOO.....!!!!!!!!!!!
shopping, shopping and more shopping!
massages... body scrubs (think baby smooth skin!)... milk baths...
awesome thai food.... mango sticky rice... phadthai!
and then more shopping again!

now now, dun be envious peeps... i'll think of u when i'm having one of those awesome thai massages! muahahahaha!

3rd holiday in 6 mths! average of a holiday every 2 mths.. no wonder i'm so broke! but i'm happy! :D


current song: No Me Ames - JLo & Marc Anthony (salsa version)
feel like doing some salsa @ Union Square

Paradox of our time...

:: We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints

:: We spend more, but have less

:: We buy more, but enjoy less

:: We have bigger houses and smaller families

:: We have more conveniences, but less time

:: We have more degrees but less sense

:: We have more knowledge, but less judgment

:: We have more experts, yet more problems

:: We have more medicine, but less wellness

:: We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom

:: We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values

:: We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often

:: We've learned how to make a living, but not a life

:: We've added years to life not life to years

:: We conquered outer space but not inner space

:: We've done larger things, but not better things

:: We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul

:: We write more, but learn less

:: We plan more, but accomplish less

:: We've learned to rush, but not to wait

:: We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we communicate less and less

:: These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships

:: These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes

:: These are ways of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill

:: It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom


so folks, wat say u?

i've got questions..

but why ask..
when i already know the answers


silly gal, silly gal


lovefool... out

To my zack:

thanks for being there for me these past 6 months. You brought me so much happiness, happiness i never thought i could find again. Looking back, its funny how 'zack & ju' came about :) Our paths crossed 6 years ago and after many twinnings and turns, we meet again 6 years later. That day is still so vivid.. it seems like there's no turning back from that day forth :)

It didnt seem much then but u were there for me when i needed someone at my lowest point.. 5 years ago.. you were there for me as a friend.. your concern and support, i held close to my heart. I would love to say He meant for these.. all of it :)

Now here we are.. holding hands all the way :)

At the Beginning

We were strangers

Starting out on a journey

Never dreaming what we'd have to go through

Now here we are

And I'm suddenly standing

At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you

Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope

You were there to remind me

This is the start

We were strangers

On a crazy adventure

Never dreaming how our dreams could come true

Now here we stand

Unafraid of the future

At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere

Like me alone in the dark

Now I know my dream will live on

I've been waiting so long

Nothing's going to tear us apart

And life is a road, and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep going on

Starting out on a journey

Life is a road and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep flowing

In the end I want to be standing at the beginning

With you

1 January 2005...

Beginning of another new year...
ushered in the new year in a semi conscious state..
yes, i was asleep!
managed to drag myself up @ midnight to call zack
decided on a quiet new years' eve
no parties, no crowd
just me and pappe :)
while someone is out saving lives ;P

Blessed New Year Dear! Love you tons! :)

woke up at 3am and cant get back to sleep
so here i am, @ 6am typing this *hungry*

wanna see my new year pressie?!?!


my first pair of Levi's!
ok ok, not exactly my first pair but the first that actually fits me :)

- its a 593
- super low rise
- only 2 buttons! (conveniant when u need the loo badly ;P)
- tight bootcut

bought it at a 25% discount! but the price after less it still double of that of the jeans i could have bought at Far East.. but its levi's! its quality baby *wink* dear bought it for me as a new year's gift *beams* thanks darling.. i love it loads! but u shldnt have.. its ex.. but i still love it! hehe *muaks!*

feel that i shld pen something for the new year..
but somehow..
cant think of anything i wanna say..
just glad that 2004 had been a learning experience for me..
just wondering wat 2005 has in store for me..
have a feeling its gonna be another eventful year..
new happenings
new beginnings :)

ride of my life? its up to Him :)